The Piece You Left Behind
by PrettyLittleWriter29
Summary: Explicit first chapter - safe after that... Anonymous Haleb fan request via @HalebConfessions @ Tumblr. " With one little question from Hanna, he proved himself. " Stay with me a little while longer? ".
1. Chapter 1

**I don't usually do this but a AU Haleb fic post 4x14 & 6 years into the future was suggested. Seemed kinda fun. To the anonymous Haleb fan who suggested it on Tumblr I hope I'm doing it justice...**

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><p>Sitting on the park bench on the other side of the yard Caleb rubbed his thighs back &amp; forth, he had to do this he just didn't want to. He knew it was going to hurt her more than it hurt him but he couldn't have Hanna in the line of fire. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Hanna the way it happened to Miranda.<p>

" _Hanna..._" Caleb's voice barely whispered, he tensed his jaw & took a deep breath. " _I have to go back_ " he stood up & started walking across the yard. Hanna stepped in front of him & placed her hands on his chest.

" _Please don't go. Stay another night. Stay with me a little longer, please?_ " she begged him.

" I can't..." He removed her hands from his shoulders & walked around her to grab his bag from inside. "_ I have to go_ " He said walking inside her kitchen.

" _No you don't_ " Hanna whined.

" _It's time_ " Caleb said with his back to her. He knew she was desperate, if he had to look into her eyes he was afraid she'd actually have the power to make him change his mind. He had to be strong, for both their safety.

" _No it's not!_ " Hanna rounded him. " _Your watc_h is broken " she reached for his hand.

" _It's late_ ". It was a weak answer but it was partly true. Caleb reached for his bag from the bench but Hanna pulled it from him. She'd do anything to keep him in Rosewood.

" _Well then take me with you_ " she pleaded with him. Whatever was going on in Ravenswood they could sort it out & return to Rosewood together.

" _I can't_ " he looked away. Jesus this was ten times harder than he imagined. He didn't think she'd put up that much of a fight.

" _Then I'll follow you_ " Hanna replied. Whatever excuse he had she could come up with another option.

" _Don't!_ " Caleb ordered her & reached for his bag. He needed her to stay in Rosewood not follow him to the town of the cursed. He tried to tug the bag away from her but she wouldn't let it go, back & forth they fought until Caleb snapped & pulled it from her grasp. He felt remorse the second he looked at her face. He'd never mistreated her or man-handled her but right then & there he could see the damage he was inflicting.

When Caleb didn't apologize Hanna started to wonder why he was acting this way, and then it finally clicked.

" _Is this about Miranda?_ " she hoped to god he wasn't going to confirm what she was thinking. That she gave her perfectly great & loyal boyfriend to a stranger.

" _It's not like that "_ Caleb wouldn't dare look her in the eyes, it wasn't the entire truth but it wasn't exactly a lie either. Something had happened between them but it wasn't within the walls of reality.

" _Like what?_ " Hanna needed to hear Caleb say it otherwise she wouldn't believe it.

" _Like what you're thinking_ " he raised his voice. He didn't cheat on her, he could never cheat on Hanna.

" _What am I thinking?_ " Hanna was getting frustrated, he wasn't saying what happened but he wasn't giving her the truth either. " _I mean is this about the girl I told you to look after?_ " Hanna asked. Caleb shook his head & closed his eyes, yes this had everything to do with the girl she told him to look after. He felt terrible for not being able to protect her like he was asked to.

" _She needs me_ " he looked back at Hanna, tears pooled in her eyes. He knew she needed him to but at least Hanna was alive & had other people for support. Miranda has no one to help with unfinished business.

" _It's not like that sounds_ " he really was asking for too much understanding.

" _You say that but what am I suppose to think?_ "

" _I...I can't tell you what to think. I don't even know what I'm thinking. All I know is I have to go & you have to stay. It's best for the both of us_ " Caleb said. He walked by her & headed for the door. The worse of it was over, he said his piece & now he just needed to walk out the door. Hanna walked behind him & was about to let him walk away but she changed her mind & slammed the door shut instead. She wasn't letting im get away that easily. If it were the other way around he'd put up a fight too.

" _Hanna, please don't do this!_ " Caleb begged of her. This wasn't easy, she was fighting for him and as much as he loved her for it he knew it would be the one thing that could get her killed in Ravenswood.

" _Do what? What am I doing? I'm standing in fron_t of my own door in my own house " she cried. She knew how to manipulate situations, it was the one thing -A had taught them.

" _I'm sorry I have to go_ " he apologized & wished to god she'd just let him go.

" _Why am I suppose to make this so easy for you_? "

" _This is not...easy_ " Caleb tried as best he could to hold back his emotions but Hanna had a way of breaking him down. He tried to leave again but Hanna slammed the door shut.

" _God...I gave her to you. I'm so stupid_ " Hanna doubted the very choice she made on Halloween. She gave her boyfriend to someone else.

" _You are not...stupid "_ Caleb assured her. Stupid was not one of the things she was. Now he was making her doubt herself he really did feel like an asshole. " That's not what happened ".

" _Well then what happened?_ " Hanna ordered him to tell the truth. She'd had enough "its complicated " and " I have to go back " to do her a lifetime. " _Tell me what happened!_ ". Caleb didn't even try to tell her, he was going to protect her even if it meant hurting her.

"_ I can't!_ " he said right before he finally walked out the door. Hanna slammed the door behind him. If he wasn't going to tell the truth then to hell with him! Hanna stood with her back against the door & looked up at her mother who must have seen & heard everything.

Hanna didn't need to say anything Ashley could tell what her little girl was experiencing just from the look in her eyes.

" _Is this how it works? They just leave, it's not you its me and then...its out the door?_ " Ashley shook her head & walked to her daughter as quick as she could wrapping her arms around her the same way Hanna did when her & Tom's marriage fell apart. Hanna cried on her shoulder, she really needed someone now who wouldn't question what Caleb had done or how she felt.

Outside the door Caleb swung his bag over his shoulder, the second the door slammed shut he knew he'd hurt her worse than he ever had. He lied to her, her got angry with her & he walked out of her life without a fight.

He felt the tears fall on his cheek, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his jumper he kept walking out to the jeep parked against the curb. He desperately wanted to go back inside & tell her everything but at this point he wasn't sure if she would forgive him or not. He sat inside the car & turned it over, placing it in first gear he looked at the house & saw Hanna walk upstairs with her mother.

Good, Hanna had someone she could count on, Caleb pulled away from the curb & went to grab a coffee from The Brew for the ride back to Ravenswood. He took his time at The Brew contemplating the best thing for every one involved, him returning to Ravenswood. Hanna staying in Rosewood. Helping Miranda. Breaking the curse. Caleb ordered another coffee to go, the quicker he got out of Rosewood the quicker he could work on getting back. He walked out the door & saw the one sight he always loved but wished wasn't there at the moment.

He paused & looked at her, she'd been crying. Because of him. She was sad, because of him. Everything that had happened was because of him.

" _Look whatever happens, I'm not going to let that be the way we say goodbye_ " Caleb finally looked into her eyes & knew he had to right the wrongs he'd done. He couldn't leave knowing he'd left her in such a state especially before Valentines Day. There was only one way to say goodbye.

He locked his car & grabbed Hanna by the hand, she didn't object. She knew exactly what he was thinking & she wanted this goodbye more than anything. She missed this about him just as much as his company. Walking back to his old apartment he never let go of her hand not event to unlock the door. Once inside he threw his keys in the bowl by the door & stepped toward Hanna. He pushed her jacket off her shoulders until it fell from her arms, he caught it & tossed it on the back of the couch.

Reaching behind him he tugged his jumper over his head & threw it on the floor, he backed Hanna against the couch & started undoing the buttons on her shirt, when he couldn't get the top button undone he looked her in the eyes she knew exactly what he wanted done. She pulled her top over her head & threw it on the floor with his shirt & jumper. Caleb began undoing the belt on his jeans when Hanna's hands covered his & finished the task for him. She undid his button her fingers skimming his stomach, when she lowered his zipper & pushed his pants down Caleb slipped off his shoes & kicked his pants to the pile of clothes pooling on the floor.

Standing in his boxers Caleb looked at Hanna & bit his bottom lip, he too missed their physical connection. Caleb knelt & took one shoe off at a time tossing them aside, still on his knees he reached up & grabbed the sides of her pants & pulled them lower until she had to step out of them. He ran his hands back up her legs until they cupped her bottom. Hanna bought her legs up around his waist & let him carry her to his bed.

Caleb laid her down gently & kissed her. His lips trailed down her neck tugging her strap aside, lower he went cupping her breast in his hands he kissed her skin & made his way to the other side giving the right breast the same treatment. Hanna ran her hands through Caleb's hair pushing it aside so she could see what he was doing. She arched her back & he slipped his hand around undoing the clasp on her bra with one movement. Gently he tugged the bra from her body & threw it on the floor returning the sweet assault on her body.

Caleb kissed Hanna again & slipped his tongue into her mouth, her tongue slid against his & he remembered one of the many reasons they were good together. No one had ever kissed him way Hanna had, no one had ever made him feel the way she could. She kissed him with such love he couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

He tore away from her mouth & gripped one breast in his mouth, he sucked it between his lips releasing the nipple with a loud pop turning his attention to the next breast. Caleb tore away from her breast & kissed her body down to her panties. He didn't need to tell her to lift her hips off the mattress, they'd done this plenty of times she knew what was expected. He hooked his thumbs under the elastic & pulled the panties off both her legs. When they were gone he opened her legs & moved slowly between them. His lips moved from one inner thigh to the next watching her every expression from between her legs.

He licked her swollen pink lips, Hanna shot off from the bed but Caleb gently placed his hand on her hips guiding her back to him. He spread her open with his thumbs and nearly came from the sight. Hanna squirmed beneath his hands, trying to find relief. When he slid two fingers inside of her, she tightened around his hand. Over & over he flicked his tongue & licked every inch of her until she moaned his name so loudly he had to cover her mouth with a kiss.

His fingers slid in & out of her, over & over until he had her right where he wanted. With her mouth wide open & her eyes closed Caleb thought about how beautiful she looked when climaxed. When Hanna opened her eyes Caleb was staring right back at her, he didn't expect her to return the favor. This wasn't about him, this was all about her.

He looked where their bodies almost joined & then back up at her. Hanna bit her lip and nodded silently telling Caleb she wanted this just as much as he did, even if it meant he was still leaving when this was all over.

He rubbed his erection against her folds & slipped inside her with one long deep thrust, when he filled her whole he cupped her cheek, closed his eyes and kissed her lips. When he opened them again he saw it.

The love she had for him.

He kissed her harder & began rocking in & out, slower & deeper each time. He was taking his sweet time for this may very well be the last time they made love. They held each others gaze never looking away not even for a second. This was as raw as they were ever going to be.

Caleb entwined their hands together & moved them to the side of her head. Thrust after thrust, Caleb filled her completely. He knew she couldn't last much longer & he was close to spilling inside her too. When she reached up & grabbed a handful of his hair Caleb crashed his lips to hers for the last time. He knew she was ready.

He rocked into her several more times before spilling into her and dropping his forehead to hers.

" _I love you Hanna_ " he said looking into her glassy eyes. She knew he meant every word of it, she'd never doubted the love he had for her. Sure she'd questioned it but each time he'd proven how much he truly loved her.

" _I love you too Caleb_ " Hanna could feel Caleb still pulsing inside of her, she didn't want him to leave. With one little question from Hanna, he proved himself. " _Stay with me a little while longer?_ ".

He nodded & slipped out from her. Pulling the sheets back they slipped under the covers. Hanna turned her back on Caleb. Tears fell down her face knowing the next time she woke he wouldn't be there beside her. She didn't try to hold them back she just let them fall silently. Caleb moved closer to & wrapped his body around her.

He too let several tears fall down his cheek & on to Hanna's shoulder, even if she couldn't understand why he was doing what he was doing there was no doubt after tonight he truly could not love another girl as strongly as he did Hanna.

**_6 years later..._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is Chapter 2. Don't expect Caleb to show up anytime soon. He will but just not yet. Hoping you'll enjoy it...**

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><p><strong>6 years later...<strong>

November fifth.

Yet another year gone by. Another year she'd lied to the only love of her life that he'd become a father. Another year she'd forced her mother to keep a lie, a lie she constantly repeated to her family that of which included Caleb's father Jamie.

Jamie stayed in contact with Hanna even after Caleb had moved to Ravenswood, he figured if Caleb was too stubborn to change his mind then maybe he could work some magic of his own & get Hanna to change her mind. What he didn't realize was Hanna was just as stubborn as his son.

He pleaded with both of them for months until one day in June Hanna told him she was pregnant. Jamie immediately assumed it was Caleb's child & that Hanna was keeping it a secret on purpose. She swore black & blue it wasn't his grandchild and that it was indeed some one else's, it was the worse lie she had ever told.

Since Jamie stayed on good terms with The Marin's he visited twice a year to see Hanna & her son, even though Thomas wasn't his grandchild he spoiled him as if he were.

Sitting in her office Hanna stared into the small black box, every year for the past five years she purchased the exact same thing. When the box was opened she would remember all that she'd lost & gained. She lost the only man who truly loved her for who she really was but she gained so much more when she gave birth to their son Thomas.

She was about to untie the dark red ribbon tied around the box when Kennedy popped her head through the door.

" Hey, you ready to go through this collection? The big bosses wanted this on the floor yesterday " she rolled her eyes. Hanna placed the box to the side of her desk & slipped her heels back on.

" I'm coming " she adjusted her skirt & tucked in her blouse.

" That little black box again huh? " she asked as they walked down the hall to the wardrobe department.

" Yep that little black box with all my secrets " she nudged her. Hanna & Kennedy hit if off the second they began working together more than three years ago, both of them had a keen insight into fashion & were quickly moving up in their careers. Kennedy more so than Hanna.

" One of these days you're going to tell me why every year on November fifth you have that little box picked up from Market Street " Kennedy dragged several racks of clothes into the room which they began sorting through.

" It's just something special...and no I won't tell you what it is " Hanna grinned.

" Yeah ok " Kennedy with a hint of sarcasm. " One of these days Marin...one of these days " she continued shoving garment after garment aside as Hanna took notes on style & hung clothes over the manikins matching together the perfect outfit to display. Four hours had passed when Hanna finally peeled herself off the carpet.

" Well if that's the entire collection done I'm going home " she slipped her heels back on.

" Come for a drink Han, just the girls no guys " Kennedy pouted.

" Can't. It's Thomas' birthday & the whole family is coming. In fact they're probably already there " she checked her phone & sure enough she had six text messages from various family members.

" Oh alright " Kennedy pushed the left over clothing into the corner of the room ready to be collected. " Are we still on for girls night next Saturday? You promised! " Kennedy slipped her own heels on & collected her pens & folders.

" Yes " she nodded. " Thomas is going out of town for the weekend so I'm free. We still on for a day at the spa? " Hanna collected her things from her desk shoving them into her already cluttered bag including the little black box. Kennedy stepped quickly toward Hanna as she waited for the lift. When the doors opened. they stepped inside Kennedy finally dropped her professional front.

" God I hope we pick up on Saturday night, hell I hope you pick up Saturday night. When was the last time you had sex with someone Han? " Kennedy looked at her reflection in the elevator doors, re-doing her lipstick she flicked her long blonde silky shiny hair over her shoulder.

" Let me see... " Hanna tapped her chin . " The last time I had sex was when I fell pregnant with Thomas so as much as a hot muscly man could possibly bring me to my knees - and I mean that literally - I think I'm good. Sex equals children & once is plenty " Hanna said stepping off the elevator.

" One of these days Marin...one of these days " Kennedy laughed & walked off in the other direction. Hanna went to her car & started the forty minute drive home. If there was one thing she looked forward to at the end of the day it was coming home to Thomas. He was so full of life, his carefree bullshit free attitude reminded her so much of Caleb.

And those eyes of his, it was like staring at his father which only made the lie harder to bury.

Pulling into her driveway she barely had time to take off her seat belt when Thomas came running from the house dressed in a knights suit & a sword in hand. A second later Jamie came running out of the back of the house with a sword in hand too, he hadn't realized Hanna had returned home. He stopped quickly & bowed.

" Evening Lady Marin, Sir Thomas requested a battle " he lifted his head & pulled the mask from his face. " Sir Thomas! I surrender. Your queen has returned to the castle " he laughed.

" Wow Jamie, taking this medieval thing to a whole new level of crazy " she laughed holding her arms out to embrace him.

" It's good to see you Hanna. How you keepin' these days? " he hugged her tightly lifting her off the ground.

" Good, busy working. How's the restoration business? "

" Big. Huge even. We've got three properties under renovation at the moment. You'd love this massive old house in Allentown, reminds me a lot of Patty's old home " he walked past Hanna to pick Thomas up & throw him over his shoulder. They walked inside & Hanna placed her bag down on the bench, she looked up to see her mother carrying another plate of party food past them & out into the yard. Hanna excused herself for a moment to change outfits before returning to the party outside.

" Happy birthday Thomas " Hanna kissed her son on the cheek.

" Thanks Mom, whatcha get me? " he asked so bluntly. Hanna laughed & went into the garage where she pulled several boxes out on to the table.

" Uh oh...some one's been spoilt again " Ashley teased. Thomas started ripping through each of the boxes, becoming more surprised with each present he opened.

" Cool a microscope! And a remote control Monster truck! And Lego! You're the coolest Mom, Thanks! " said Thomas. He pulled each one out of the box & started playing with them. Thomas & Jamie drove the Monster truck down the driveway just as Kate & her husband William arrived with their daughter Emery. Thomas moved the truck toward their car slowly until Kate placed her feet outside the door. He pushed the throttle down as far as he could scaring Kate as it whooshed past her.

" Hi Aunt Kate! " he waved enthusiastically from the other end of the driveway. Jamie stood beside him trying to hold in a laugh.

" You know that's bad manners right? " Jamie asked him from behind.

" Yeah I know, but Mom says sometimes it's fun to scare someone so neurotic " he laughed & turned the truck around.

" Don't let them hear you say that " Jamie turned around & watched as Hanna entertained her family so easily.

" Well I'm not stupid Jamie, I know the rules " Thomas kept zooming his truck up & down the driveway. For a second Jamie stared at him and could've sworn he saw a little bit of his own son in Thomas' eyes. The way he said those words " I'm not stupid, I know the rules " reminded him so much of Caleb, it was times like these - moments they had alone - that Jamie doubted who Thomas' real father was.

Hanna may have said Thomas' father was some red neck one night stand she used in an attempt to get over Caleb but at times he could swear Thomas had the very traits that ran through every Rivers male.

" Thomas! Come & have something to eat " Hanna called out. With all their family present Thomas ate the party food & continued opening more presents. He was particularly excited with the brand new fishing rod Jamie bought him.

" Thank you Jamie, I love it! " he turned & gave him a long hug. " I can't wait to use it on the weekend ".

" Me too buddy, me too " Jamie ran his hand through Thomas' hair. Jamie & Thomas were almost inseparable for the rest of the evening, Jamie showed Thomas how to attach the hook & how to flick the reel & cast out his line. He told him what bait was best to use & when the best time to fish was, Jamie had never seen Thomas more excited.

For all the memories that Jamie created with Thomas, he wished he could have had all these memories with Caleb. But that was the past, a past where Jamie didn't know what he wanted or where he wanted to go or how to raise a child. Jamie had matured a lot since his last stint in jail, he made a promise to himself that he would be there for the most important people in his life.

Hanna. Thomas. Ashley. and most of all Caleb.

The night had drawn to an end when Kate, William, Emery, Isabelle & Tom had left. Ashley was cleaning up the patio when Thomas started to fall asleep his chair. Hanna stood to pick Thomas up when Jamie scooped him up in his arms.

" Do you mind if I put him to bed? " he asked pulling him closer to his chest.

" Not at all Jamie " Hanna stepped aside. She watched Jamie carry Thomas inside & down the hall toward his room. When Jamie was out of sight Hanna let out a sigh. Ashley turned to her daughter.

" Hanna?..." She squeezed her shoulder.

" I'm ok Mom. Days like today remind me how much he is missing out on " Hanna turned around & picked up more paper plates & plastic cups throwing them into the bag her mother was holding.

" I know, It's wrong but before you react hear me out. Given the circumstances you're doing what's right for you & Thomas. I'm proud of you for that. Its not easy being a single mother ".

Hanna looked around to make sure everyone had left & there was no one at the back door, she leaned in to her mother & whispered " It's not easy keeping this lie, especially when Jamie is so damn good with him. When ever he's around I think that should be Caleb not him, not that the two of them spending time together bothers me but I can't help feeling so damn guilty ".

Back inside Thomas's room Jamie pulled a pair of pajamas shorts out of the top drawer & helped Thomas get changed & into bed. He pulled the thin blanket over his waist & bent down to kiss Thomas on the head.

" Good night Thomas " Jamie whispered.

" Good night Jamie " Thomas mumbled. Jamie turned on the bed side lamp & went to walk out when Thomas spoke up. " Hey Jamie? "

" Yeah buddy? " he turned back around.

" Thank you for coming to my party, it was really cool. Grandpa Tom is not fun at all " he tucked his hands under him.

" You are very welcome Thomas. I'll see you Friday okay? " Thomas nodded & started to drift off to sleep. Outside the door Jamie looked at the many photos of Thomas & Hanna along the wall. Thomas buried under the sand & a perfect photo on a cliff top of Hanna & Thomas. Jamie looked closely at the photo, Thomas' eyes were a deep shade of brown much like Caleb's. He looked at several more photos of Thomas at parties with friends & even laughing at one of him hanging upside down in a tree.

Jamie couldn't help but picture Caleb, even if it wasn't the truth a small part of him wished it were true. What he wouldn't give to have a daughter in law like Hanna & a grandson like Thomas. He only had a moment to reflect when Hanna turned the corner.

" Oh hey, he go down alright? " Hanna asked stopping beside Jamie.

" Out like a light " he smiled. " You've got a great boy in there Hanna " he hooked his thumb over his shoulder toward Thomas' room.

" He's my sanity & my craziness " she laughed. " I love this photo the most " Hanna pointed to Thomas's first camping trip with Jamie. Thomas was on his hands & knees crawling out of the tent his hair all messed up.

" It's such a bad photo but so good at the same time " Hanna turned back toward the kitchen, Jamie followed her & grabbed his jacket from the back of the breakfast stool. He walked over to Hanna & hugged her.

" Thank you for having me over, I miss all of you "

" We miss seeing you too Jamie. Don't stay away for too long ok? " Hanna hugged him & broke away from his hold.

" I won't, I promise. I'll see you Friday at six " he smiled walking out the back door to say goodbye to Ashley. When he pulled out of the driveway Hanna let out a long breath. Ashley walked inside right & saw the sad look in Hanna's eyes. She walked over & hugged her daughter. She pulled back & cupped her hands around Hanna's face.

" You. Did. The. Right. Thing. " Ashley said slowly. " Although Ashley didn't agree at first with Hanna's decision to keep Thomas' paternity a secret from Caleb & Jamie, she eventually respected & supported Hanna's decision.

" So why do I feel so bad for? " Hanna questioned her mother.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone!**

**I can't even begin how to explain why it has taken so long to get this to you. When you have to finally pull your socks up...life sucks! And the things you love doing the most become the last thing you have time for. So I apologize. **

**I hope this chapter leaves you a little bit happy, I don't know where I'd be without Hanna. She's my muse & deserves a bit of credit too. - Yes Hanna you do! **

**Anyways...I do appreciate all your reviews. :)**

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><p>" <em>Thomas! Get down off there, right now!<em> " Hanna screamed before she ran over & pulled Thomas down from the shelf. " She placed his feet back on the ground & pulled a ladder from the corner of the garage. Lining it against the wall she reached for Thomas' tackle box.

" _It's here_ " she reached for the top shelf " _with your fishing rod_ " she handed them down to him.

" _Thanks Mom, I don't want to forget anything_ " he marched inside & placed the items outside his door. Hanna followed him inside watching as he walked over to his cupboard & pulled out his army green overnight bag & started stuffing it with clothes.

" _Have you packed everything?_ " Hanna asked.

" _Yes Mom I just..._" Thomas slid under the bed stretching out as far as he could " _Need...my boots_ " he threw both of them out the other side of the bed, Hanna jumped back before the small boot hit her foot. Thomas scooped both of them up placing them inside his bag, he dragged his belongings into the hall with his sleeping bag & fishing rod.

" _What time is it Mom? Jamie said he'll be here at four o'clock?_ " he lifted the wooden blind & looked out the front window.

" _It's three thirty_ " she looked at her watch. " _Can we at least have something to eat, maybe talk? You know...give Mom half hour of your time before you ditch me for the man_ " Hanna joked.

" _Ok, half an hour but when Jamie gets here, its go time_ " He hitched his thumb over his shoulder. Hanna chased Thomas into the kitchen & lifted him on to the breakfast stool even though she knew he could do it himself. She moved about the kitchen quickly making his favorite, a toasted cheese sandwich.

When the door bell rang half an hour later Thomas shot off his seat & ran to the door, he pulled it open & smiled when he saw Jamie in his work wear.

" _Hey kiddo! You ready?_ " Jamie ruffled Thomas' hair.

" _You bet, let me get my stuff_ " he ran back down the hall picking up his sleeping bag & over night bag. " _Mom, can you get the rest of my stuff?_ " Thomas said over his shoulder as he ran past her, his bag almost pulling him to the floor. Thomas tried walking out the door but Jamie placed his hand on his forehead stopping him in his tracks.

" _Hey! What did I do?_ " Thomas took a step back & looked up at Jamie.

" _You didn't say please, now don't be rude. Ask your Mom nicely_ " Jamie pointed to Hanna down the hall.

" _Sorry Mom, could you grab my fishing rod & tackle box please?_ " Hanna walked past the both of them trying her best not to laugh, Jamie winked at her. Hanna placed his things in the back of the truck along with Jamie's belongings, she watched Thomas climb into the rusty old pick up & secure his seat belt. Before Jamie entered the truck she gave Thomas a quick kiss on the cheek. Jamie climbed inside & placed one hand on the steering wheel & the other behind Thomas' seat.

" _I'll see you on Sunday Hanna_ " Jamie cranked over the engine & began pulling out of the driveway.

" _Be good Thomas and don't misbehave on Jamie. Don't forget to brush your teeth. And use your manners!_ " Hanna called out.

" _I'll be fine Mom!_ " Thomas hung out the window of the truck. "_ Don't worry!_ " he waved as they drove away from the house. Hanna blew kisses in the air & waved until they were out of sight, she dragged herself back inside & closed the door. Hanna threw her head against the white wooden door.

" _Shit!_ " she swore to herself.

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><p>A while down the road with his arm still hanging out the window of Jamie's truck &amp; the wind blowing in his hair, Thomas turned &amp; faced Jamie.<p>

" _I want to catch a giant fish Jamie, does the place where we are going have giant fishes_ "

" _I don't know about giant fishes, but there are all kinds of fish out there_ " Jamie smiled thinking about Thomas's first catch. How excited he'd be, whether Thomas would keep it or throw it back, what the size of it would be and where they'd catch it.

" _I can't wait!_ " Thomas tucked one leg underneath his bottom so he could see out the window better.

" _Jamie, how come you didn't come to ours for Christmas?_ " Thomas turned in his seat to face him.

" _I spent Christmas with my son_ " Jamie glanced quickly at Thomas.

" _Does he have lots of toys? Is he coming with us too_? " Thomas' face lit up about the possibility another male joining them.

" _Caleb doesn't have any toys these days, he's all grown up. And he will not be joining us, he's working all weekend_ ". If there was one thing Jamie would've preferred this weekend, it would have been for Caleb join them on this camping trip.

" _Mom always says working on a weekend sucks a big one. I don't know what she sucks on but she isn't very happy when she has to work on a weekend either_ " Thomas shrugged his shoulders. Jamie turned his head toward the side & laughed at Thomas' comment.

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><p>An hour later Jamie &amp; Thomas arrived at the camp site, they pulled up to a spot by the riverbank &amp; unloaded the tent.<p>

" _Thomas, Grab the hammer from my tool box please?_ " Jamie asked as he unrolled the tent across the ground. Thomas placed one foot on the back wheel & pulled his body into the back of the truck, he opened Jamie's heavy tool box & pulled put two hammers.

"_ Which one Jamie?_ " he held the two hammers in the air.

" _Both kiddo, one for me. One for you_ " Jamie waved Thomas over to start helping him.

" _Cool. I get to whack stuff!_ " Thomas pulled the tent pegs out of the large bag, Jamie looked down at Thomas & smiled. He'd never seen a kid so happy out of the city. Jamie wondered could Thomas been extra excited because there was no constant male in his life to do this sort of thing with him? His mother was great providing him with the assurance & confidence he needs but every child needs their father too or someone like a father.

" _We're almost done kiddo, just whack that last peg into the ground while I hold this up_ " Jamie held the tent poles above his head.

" _I can't wait to go back to school & rub it into Jay Corby that we slept under the stars_ " Thomas whacked the tent-peg with a little more aggression.

" _Who's Jay Corby?_ " Jamie asked stepping out from the tent.

" _This kid at my school, he keeps giving me crap about not having a Dad_ " Thomas' voice changed from being ecstatic to sad & lonely.

" _Does that make you mad or sad?_ " Thomas looked up at Jamie and shrugged his shoulders.

" _Will I get in trouble if I say both?_ " Thomas looked worried, Jamie shook his head & Thomas spoke again. " _I hate Jay. He's stupid and mean & I wish he wasn't in my class_ ".

" _Thomas, can I ask you something? And this is just between you & me but does your Mom ever talk about your father? Like who he is or what his name is or anything_? " Jamie knelt beside Thomas & watched as the cogs turned over inside Thomas's head. Thomas bit his lip & shook his head.

" _My Mom doesn't ever talk about my Dad but one day...I heard Nana Ash say I look like my Dad & I'm a smart lick like him too_ " Thomas opened the car door & pulled his bags out dragging them into the tent.

" _Allick. Nana Ash must have said smart allick, its like you're uhm...you're cheeky & smart with jokes & comebacks_ " Jamie gathered his things & placed them inside the tent. While they set up their sleeping bags Jamie wondered who Thomas' biological father was, if he ever found out who he was he'd ask him why he abandoned his own child & his mother.

" _Is there a reason Jay has been bullying you about your Dad?_ " Jamie tucked one leg under the other & faced him, when Thomas lowered his head Jamie realized this was something more than just a kid bullying someone.

" _We have this project at school, it's called Be Like Your Dad. We have to do stuff with our Dad's & wrote a report about it & say how we feel about what we did. I don't have a Dad or anyone who I can do stuff with, Poppy Tom is always too busy & I don't have any else I can ask...except maybe you_ " Thomas looked up at Jamie with hope in his eyes.

" _You can write about us if you want to, hell I'll do what ever you want when ever you want if it means you get to finish your project. I'm not your Dad but I can fill his shoes for a while if you want?_ " Thomas leapt to his knees throwing himself at Jamie, wrapping his arms around his neck tightly.

" _Thank you Jamie, I wish my real Dad was half as cool as you are_ " Jamie choked up, he never experienced this kind of connection with Caleb, he was at a loss of words. Jamie simply patted Thomas on the back until Thomas pulled away.

" _Can we eat now Jamie? I'm pretty hungry_ " Thomas stepped put of the tent.

" _Sure buddy, whatever you want_ " Jamie followed behind him.

The next day Jamie & Thomas rose early to find the perfect fishing hole, searching high & low for a place hidden beyond the trees. When they found the perfect spot Jamie reached out for Thomas's hand.

" _Over there Thomas, we just have to cross those rocks_ " he pointed to the right of him.

" _Awesome!_ " Thomas ran past Jamie to the edge of the water. Jamie tightened his grip on his tackle box & fishing rod gripping Thomas' hand tightly.

" _Ready kiddo?_ " he looked down at Thomas beaming with adventure.

" _Let's do this!_ " Thomas put one foot into the water as it trickled past his feet. His boots became wet as they crossed the rocks further. Thomas loved nature & all its beauty despite never doing anything like this before, almost as if he was a natural at adapting to the wilderness. When they reached the other side Jamie helped pull Thomas on to the riverbank & threw down their fishing rods.

Jamie showed Thomas how to put bait on his fishing rod, Thomas kept casting out his line only to have his bait fall off before he'd even got a bite.

" _I can't catch anything_ " Thomas sulked. " _The bait keeps coming off!_ " Thomas stormed over to retrieve more bait.

" _Come 'ere Thomas, show me how you've put the bait on_ " Jamie watched as Thomas dragged the tackle box across to the riverbank to where Jamie was standing knee-deep in the water.

" _I did it exactly like you showed me, I hook it on and weave it like this_ " Thomas showed Jamie the end of his line where a worm hung loosely at the end. Jamie pulled the line toward him & weaved it on tighter.

" _You have to make sure the entire worm is on there otherwise it'll just slip right off_ " Jamie handed it back to him.

" _Thanks Jamie_ " Thomas walked back to his spot & cast the line out into the water. He waited patiently looking through the trees at what he thought was a rope hanging from the tree. He took a few steps & walked out into the water a little deeper. When the water was up to his thighs Thomas leaned to the right to see where the rest of the rope was coming from when he slipped on a rock & fell over losing his fishing rod in the water.

" _Ahh!_ " Thomas called out. Jamie looked to his left, when he seen Thomas fall into the water he panicked & rushed over picking him up out of the water by the back of his shirt.

" _Shit! Thomas! You alright?_ " he pulled him back on the riverbank.

" _I'm ok, I slipped & lost my rod_ " Thomas pointed to it floating on the other side of the river. Jamie bent over his hands on his knees & sighed in relief.

"_ You scared me Thomas_ " For a moment all Jamie could think of was how much Hanna would murder him if anything ever happened to her only son. " Wait here while I go fetch your fishing rod. Don't. Move! " he ordered Thomas.

Jamie took his jacket off & unbuckled his pants, he kicked his boots off followed by his socks & pushed his pants down until he stood in his boxers. He tugged his shirt over his head & walked out into the water until he could dive in. The water was freezing against his body but Jamie didn't care. It reminded him of a time when he & Claudia used to go driving on a warm Sunday afternoon searching for the perfect swimming hole. Somehow they always ended up at the same place just a few miles from town.

Jamie swum across the water & reached out for the fishing rod, he swum back to where Thomas was handing him his wet fishing rod with the bait still in tact.

" _I can swim Jamie...well kinda. My Mom has me in swimming classes but I'm not the best swimmer_ " Thomas kept looking over at the rope hanging from the top of the tree. " _What's that over there?_ " Thomas pointed to the rope hanging from the tree.

Jamie looked to where Thomas was pointing, when he saw the rope hanging from the tree a huge smile came across his face. A flying fox! The real deal hanging from a tree where he was with Thomas. Jamie felt joy knowing he couldn't let Thomas go home without trying a swing on a flying fox.

" _You want to swing off that?_ " Jamie asked Thomas. " _You swing from the tree out over the water & let go until you're in the water. When I was a boy we used to have one of these hanging from a tree, boy you could get some height on those things!_ " Jamie's eyes were wide like he were a little boy again. " _You want me to show you how?_ " Jamie asked.

"_ Yeah! Do it Jamie!_ " Thomas encouraged him. He watched as Jamie swim across the river to the other side where he climbed the tree & carefully walked out to the branch reaching for the rope. He took a deep breath & looked to the other side where Thomas was waiting patiently. Jamie counted to three and then swung out over the river, he let go of the rope & fell into the water. When he came to the surface an excited Thomas was already stripping down to his little shorts.

" _I so want to do that Jamie!_ " He threw his boots & clothing beside Jamie's pile of clothes. Jamie swam to the riverbank & watched Thomas walk into the water, he held Jamie's shoulders as he swam to the other side. Thomas started climbing the tree but when he looked down he started having second thoughts.

"_ Jamie I'm scared!_ " Thomas called out from above.

" _You can do this Thomas! I know you can_ " he knew Thomas had enough confidence to swing out.

" _What if I drown? That's a pretty big drop_ " he pointed to the river below.

" _It just looks big because you're so little but I promise you Thomas it's not that bad. Just count to three, push-off & let go. I promise I'll be there when you fall_ " he motioned for him to jump with all intentions of keeping his promise.

He wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt this sweet little boy who he was starting to think of as one of his own.

" _Jamie!_ " Thomas voice bellowed across the river.

" _Do it! Ready? One...two...three! Go!_ " Jamie yelled. Thomas closed his eyes and whispered " _I love you Mom_ " and jumped out into the water. He squealed as he let go and when he hit the water Jamie caught him by the arm lifting him out of the water.

" _I did it Jamie! I really did it! Beat that Jay Corby!_ " he threw a punch into the air.

" _Yeah you did_ " Jamie said with a huge smile on his face, he was so proud. He wondered how Hanna got so lucky in having a kid as outgoing as Thomas.

For the next hour Jamie & Thomas jumped from the tree, sometimes on their own & sometimes together. Jamie showed Thomas some swimming techniques, they practiced swimming across the river every time he jumped from the rope. When Jamie had enough of the flying fox they returned to fishing for another couple of hours. They hadn't caught any all day but Thomas didn't care, he'd had the best afternoon a boy could ask for.

"_ You want to head back to the truck for a late lunch?_ " Thomas nodded, he'd worked up an appetite while jumping to & from the tree. They grabbed their rod & tackle box & started walking back to the rocks.

" _Did you teach your son how to swim Jamie?_ " Thomas asked curiously.

" _No I didn't unfortunately_ " Jamie kept walking ahead giving Thomas minimal answers to his question. Thomas was quiet until they returned to the truck but then he spoke up.

" _How come?_ " Thomas asked.

" _How come what?_ " Jamie pulled their lunch out from inside the truck.

" _How come you didn't teach your son to swim if he had you as his Dad?_ " Thomas sat on the tail gate of Jamie's truck & waited patiently for an answer. Jamie was unsure how to explain to him why he left his son like his Dad had left him, more so Jamie didn't want to taint the image Thomas has of him.

" _Caleb's Mom & I we didn't get along too well when he was little. We separated for a while & then I lost where they were. It was a long time before I found my son again and by that time he was very angry at me for a lot of things_ " Jamie bent the truth a little but he couldn't come right out & say he was a miserable partner, a horrible Dad & not to mention a criminal.

" _Did your son forgive you for losing him?_ " Thomas looked to Jamie for answers wondering if his Dad lost his Mom & him too.

" _He did forgive me but I had to earn back his trust & friendship. We're a lot better these days but there's still that history he'll never forget_ " Jamie never thought he'd have this conversation with Thomas, even now talking about it he was reminded of what a screw up he was as a father. If he could go back & change the history he has with his son he would but then again if he didn't make the choices he did he wouldn't be where he is now.

The next day sadly Jamie & Thomas had to pull the tent down & go back home. Neither of them wanted the weekend to end, they'd had a great time fishing & swimming together. Thomas had a blast cooking marshmallows over an open fire laughing too hard when he accidentally flicked a hot marshmallow on Jamie's leg.

They'd enjoyed their time together more than they thought they would, Thomas was sure he'd be bored without his toys & Jamie thought Thomas would have driven him nuts but  
>no. Thomas hadn't even thought about his toys back home &amp; Jamie underestimated how much Thomas would appreciate some man-to-man bonding.<p>

Thomas reached into the back of Jamie's truck for a hammer so he could try & pull the tent pegs out of the ground, he went to jump off the back of the truck & lost his footing slipping off on to the ground below him where a sharp rock-cut his knee.

" _Son of a fudge stick!_ " Thomas yelled holding his knee in his hands. Jamie came rushing over & panicked when Thomas bent over & fighting back tears.

" _What happened Thomas?_ " Jamie asked.

" _I fell off the back of the truck & I hurt my knee_ " Jamie scooped Thomas up in his arms & placed him on the passenger seat inside the truck, his legs facing out the door.

" _Show me_ " Jamie reached for Thomas' hand to assess how bad he'd hurt himself but Thomas refused to move his hands.

" _Don't touch it Jamie! It hurts!_ " Thomas refused to unwrap his hands. Jamie knelt and looked him in the eye.

" _I promise, I'm just going to look. No touching_ " Jamie put his hands beside his head. " _Come on kiddo, you're bleeding I can see it on your hands_ " Jamie pointed to his knee.

" _What?! I'm bleeding?_ " Thomas looked down at his hands & saw the blood trickling down.

" _Jamie! Help me please_ " Thomas screeched. Jamie slowly peeled Thomas' hand away & did nothing but look at the small cut across his knee. As the blood ran down his knee Jamie stood up & reached behind the seat for his first aid kit.

" _What are you going to do Jamie?_ " Thomas put his hand back over his knee.

" _I'm just going to clean it up & put a big band-aid on it_ " Jamie pulled a small band aid & some cotton swabs from his kit & sat it on the seat next to Thomas. He had Thomas remove his hand & set about fixing up his wound.

" _Is it going to hurt Jamie?_ " Thomas looked worried.

" _It might sting while I'm cleaning it kiddo but once its done you wont feel a thing, you might even get a cool scar from that little cut. You know chicks dig scars right?_ " Jamie winked as he cleaned around the cut.

" _Do they?_ " Thomas' face lit up.

" _I haven't found one yet_ " Jamie laughed to himself " _but if I ever do you'll be the first to know_ " he finished covering his knee.

" _Cool! thanks Jamie_ " Thomas smiled & reached out wrapping his arms around Jamie's neck. " _For everything_ " he squeezed him once more. Jamie finished packing the tent & all their equipment back into the truck while Thomas rested his knee.

They'd been driving for half an hour when Jamie's phone began to ring, one call after the other until finally Jamie pulled over on the side of the road to see who was calling him constantly. Just as he swiped his screen a photo appeared across the screen, Jamie answered the call.

" _Yeah... What? How many? Jesus Christ. No. I'll be there. I'm driving still. I said I'll be there! Alright sit tight. Bye_ " Jamie threw his phone on the dash of his car.

" _Shit!_ " Jamie said as he tore away from the side of the road.

" _Something wrong Jamie?_ " Thomas inquired. He'd seen his Mom lose her temper over the phone a handful of times.

" _Yeah buddy, we're going to have to swing by Allentown where my son is and fix something up. God damn useless SOB's_ " he tapped his fingers against the worn leather steering wheel.

Forty minutes later Jamie pulled against the curb of an old house where a large black truck was sitting in the driveway, an overweight man was waving a clip board in the air & yelling at a much younger man.

" _Stay put kiddo, do not get out of this car for anything. You hear me?_ " Jamie ordered Thomas.

" _I promise_ " Thomas said with his hand over his heart. He watched Jamie storm toward the two men & soon he began arguing with the overweight man. Thomas watched from afar as one of the men started walking toward the truck, as he got closer Thomas wound the window up & locked the door. The man knocked on the window & smiled at Thomas.

" _Hey_ " he said from the other side of the window.

" _My Mom said I'm not allowed to talk to strangers. I don't know you so you mister are a stranger_ " Thomas refused to open the door or wind down the window. The man held his hands on his stomach & laughed. When he stopped laughing he held his hand toward the door & introduced himself.

" _The names Caleb, Caleb Rivers. I'm Jamie's son_ " he looked at Thomas with a huge smile on his face. His comment really made him laugh from deep inside. Most kids manage a hello but Thomas was cold & blunt.

" _Caleb?_ " Thomas asked. " _Jamie talked about you yesterday_ " Thomas sat up on his knees & started talking to Caleb through the window.

" _All good things I hope?_ " Caleb leant against the door of the car, not once pushing for Thomas to open the door or wind down the window. If this is where the kid's comfort zone was, then this is where he'd stay.

" _I think so. I cant really remember. We did lots of things yesterday and look! I fell out of the truck & scraped my knee. Jamie put a big band-aid on my knee and said I'm going to have a scar and that chicks dig scars_ " Thomas rambled on but Caleb was not bored not even in the slightest.

" _Cool! I've got a scar on my knee too, so does Jamie_ " he flung his thumb over his shoulder toward Jamie. " _I guess we all have something in common don't we?_ " Caleb pulled his jeans up to show Thomas the scar on his knee too.

"_ Yeah we do_ " Thomas smiled looking at the silver scar on Caleb's knee.

" _So Jamie took you on a camping trip huh? Did you catch anything?_ " Caleb kept trying to make conversations with Thomas while watching Jamie argue with the man from the lumber yard.

" _We didn't catch anything! But Jamie did show me how to swing from a flying fox, and he taught me how to swim better_ ". Although Thomas never spoke to strangers he felt like he could talk to Caleb all day. "_ I have had the best weekend ever! You would have thought it was the best too if you were there_ ". Thomas laughed as he spoke & said " _It was so funny when I burnt a marshmallow & I flung the stick trying to get it off but I got Jamie's leg instead. He jumped up & down so fast! It was the funniest thing you should have seen it_ " Thomas laughed harder. Caleb looked at the little boy laughing inside the truck & laughed to himself.

" _I really wish I was there. Maybe next time_ " Caleb turned his head to where Jamie was still trying to sort out the problem with the delivery. " _So.. You're going back home to your Mom & Dad now?_ " Caleb asked.

" _Just my Mom. I don't have a Dad. Mom said he left a long time ago. I think he lost us just like Jamie lost you when you were little. Maybe my Dad will find us again one day_ " Thomas sat back down on the seat & fiddled with his hands in his lap. Caleb was dumb founded, so many things just poured out from this little boy he'd met only minutes ago & yet he knew more than he wanted to.

" _Well that's too bad for him. You look pretty cool to me which means your Mom is pretty cool to huh?_ " Caleb tried his best to put a smile on Thomas' face again. No child should ever be sad especially at the hands of their parents.

"_ Yeah she is_ " Thomas turned his head & smiled at Caleb. He wound the window down some of the way & hung his arm over the window. " _My Mom is really pretty. She has yellow hair & dresses really nice all the time. She has to dress nice for work but even when she comes home she still looks cool. I think you'd like my Mom if you met her_ " Thomas looked over at Jamie as he stalked back toward the car.

" _What's your Mom's name?_ " Caleb asked.

" _Hanna. Hanna Marin_ " Thomas replied. Caleb's jaw dropped & he just stared at Thomas.

This. Is. Hanna's. Son. I am talking to the son of the only girl I've ever loved Caleb thought.

" _Hey, I've gotta get Thomas home to his mother and then come back & sort this crap out. They sent the wrong wood out & now they're trying to charge us even more_ " Jamie ran his hands through his hair tapping his foot against the gutter.

"_ Alright. I'll stay until you get back_ " Caleb kept staring at Thomas, he definitely looked like his mother but there was something about his eyes he couldn't put his finger on. Caleb watched as Jamie drove away, Thomas hung his arm out the window & waved goodbye until they rounded the next corner.

Back in the middle of the road still Caleb thumbs hung loosely in the back pocket of his jeans. The more he thought about Hanna the more he wondered who it was that got her pregnant & left her a single mother...


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all! Sorry it's been so long between posts, I haven't been the most healthiest of late but here is the update & hopefully its steering this story in the right direction. I'm hoping to update the other fic soon so please just be patient & I'll try to do you proud. **

* * *

><p>Entering the busy sports bar Jamie sought out his son who had been avoiding him all week, Jamie knew the obvious reason behind his childish behavior. Caleb had been quiet ever since he met Thomas, or more to the point he'd been quiet ever since he found out who Thomas's mother was.<p>

Sitting down on the stool beside him Jamie & ordered two beers. He didn't say a word & neither did Caleb, it wasn't until Jamie took his first mouthful that Caleb finally spoke up.

" When were you going to tell me? " He kept his focus on the big screen.

" Tell you what? " Jamie asked, he knew exactly what he was asking but he'd rather Caleb come out & say it.

" Don't bullshit me Jamie you know exactly what " Caleb spat back at him. Jamie took another mouthful of beer hating that Caleb called him Jamie & not Dad, Caleb always had a way of hurting his father when he was angry about family matters.

" What was I suppose to say? " he stared at Caleb.

" Oh I don't know, maybe something along the lines of I've been talking with your ex-girlfriend again and oh one more thing...I'm taking her son camping this weekend. I mean, what the fuck? " Caleb slammed his hand down on the bar making those closest to them jump on their stool.

" I didn't realize I had to tell you every little thing I do. And if you must know I never stopped talking to Hanna or Ashley, I just never told you that I never stopped talking to them. What are you more pissed about? The fact I get to spend time with the family I never had or the fact that you're not in the inner circle of the Marin family? " Jamie retaliated.

" I didn't realize there was an inner circle, I never interfered with Hanna's life out of respect. We went our separate ways and I kept it that way. But here you are bringing it back into my life " Caleb gulped down the last of his beer.

" How am I? I don't invite her to our things & she doesn't invite you either for the exact same reason you just said. If you must know your name doesn't even come up. You & Hanna may have ended things but we never did. I like them & they accept me so I'm not cutting ties with them because of you " Jamie turned in his seat, he could see Caleb flexing his jaw. A clear sign his son was pissed off and biting back what he really wanted to say.

" Can we just drop it? I don't want to discuss it anymore " Caleb threw some money down on the bar & stepped away. " In fact...I think I've had enough for tonight ".

Jamie followed him catching him on the side walk outside the bar.

" Hey! Whats really going on up there? " he pointed to the side of his head.

" Nothing. I'm tired & I don't want to talk history " Caleb kept walking toward his truck, Jamie knew if he pushed a little harder Caleb would say what it was that was really bothering him. If he was this riled up this much it had to be something.

" Caleb! Stop shutting me out & just give it to me, you're pissed off because I lied to you? Is that it? " Jamie knew it wasn't entirely the truth of the matter but what else did he have to go on.

" No you know what infuriates me? " he turned on the spot to face Jamie. " That someone got her pregnant. Someone left her all alone to raise a kid. A kid who doesn't have a father & probably wonders everyday if this is the day my Dad comes back. A kid who wonders every god damn day what his father looks like. There. Happy now? Her kid reminded me of how I felt when I didn't have a father ". Jamie hooked his thumbs into the loops of his jeans, he bit his lip & shook his head.

" Well shit... I mean that wasn't what I...I didn't bring him around last weekend to remind you of that " Jamie was ashamed Caleb's childhood was still a very sore spot for him.

" Well it did so... " Caleb got into his truck and started the engine.

" She knows who the father is Caleb " He walked around the truck & hung his arm on the door. " She said he wasn't ready to be a father so she left. She made that decision all on her own & she's doing quite well, better than one might expect " he tried lessening the hurt Caleb may be feeling.

" I guess life just keeps handing the both of us a shitty hand " Caleb started to pull away from the curb. Jamie stepped aside & watched his son drive away into the night. Jamie walked back to his truck & thought about all the things Hanna ever told him about Thomas's biological father. Who he was, where he lived, the circumstances that lead to her falling pregnant & being abandoned.

If there was one thing Jamie could do to put his sons mind at rest, He was going to do it. It was time he started asking questions from someone other than Hanna.

* * *

><p>One week later Jamie tracked down the one &amp; only Travis Hobbs, turns out the boy didn't go too far from home. As Jamie drove through Rosewood he couldn't help but look up at the beautiful bell he restored years ago. It still looked as good as the day they re-hung it. On the other side of town Jamie pulled into the empty gas station &amp; looked at the man working behind the counter.<p>

He hoped this was the person he could get answers from.

The bell rang over the door as Jamie stepped into the small shop, he approached the counter & looked over his features wondering which part of him made Thomas. It wasn't his green eyes, it most certainly wasn't his sandy blonde hair nor was it his pale skin.

" Travis Hobbs? " Jamie asked.

" That's me, who's asking? " he closed the cigarette case behind him.

" Jamie Doyle " he held out his hand. " I just wanted to ask you a few questions if you have time? "

" About what exactly? " Travis put both his palms down on the counter.

" Hanna Marin "

" Gees...thats a name I haven't heard in a while " he rubbed his hand down his cheek, " Hanna was a sweet girl but it was wasn't meant to be. How is she do you know? " Travis asked.

" She's good. Great in fact but I wanted to see if you could confirm something for me. Hanna said about five years ago you & her were involved? " Jamie waited patiently.

" Yeah we dated for a few months. Nothing serious, she was still hung up on some ex-boyfriend of hers ". Some ex-boyfriend? That ex-boyfriend is my son Jamie thought.

" So you dated but you were never...how shall I put this? Intimate? ".

" That's a bit personal isn't it? " Travis retorted. Jamie had no idea how to respond so rather than beat around the bush he just came out & said it.

" Hanna has a kid. And she says its yours... " Travis' face went blank.

" Well I hate to break it to you Jamie? " he asked " but in order for her to fall pregnant with my child we'd actually have to have sex. I barely got past first base with Hanna. She was a sweet girl but she was never into me that way " Travis spoke with such disappointment, Jamie couldn't help but feel bad for him.

" Huh " Jamie tapped his knuckles on the counter, if Travis wasn't the father then who else could be Thomas' father? " Well, that clears things up sort of. I'm uh...sorry to have bothered you. You have a good day now " Jamie turned and walked out of the gas station. As he got back into his truck he started to wonder who else Hanna could have slept with, he didn't remember any other boys being around after Caleb and Ashley told the exact same story as Hanna did.

Could there be a possibility Hanna & Ashley made a pact to keep a much bigger secret? The secret of who Thomas's real father was, and if so why would they feel they had to lie to him of all people. He was like family to them.

* * *

><p>The following week Jamie was working alongside Caleb ripping apart a bathroom &amp; throwing the old &amp; rotten remains into a large metal skip bin outside the home. For half an hour they walked back &amp; forth with parts of the wall, scooped up broken tiles and eventually carried the massive bath tub outside.<p>

" Ready? One. Two. Three " in one go they lifted the old bath into the skip bin with the rest of the debris. Caleb retuned back to the bathroom to sweep up the last of their mess when Jamie stood in the door way.

" So I went on a hunch & found out some thing " he crossed his arms over his body.

" What thing? " Caleb asked.

" About Thomas, more specifically about Hanna " Caleb hit his head on the door handle as he looked up.

" What about her? " Caleb rubbed his head.

" Well I went looking for Travis Hobbs the guy she says fathered Thomas and turns out the guy never slept with Hanna. Said he barely got to first base with her "

" And why is that important to me? " Caleb pretended not to care.

" Because Travis didn't father Thomas. He's _not_ his child " Jamie emphasized the word not.

" So who is then? " Caleb wanted to know.

" I don't know I haven't quite figured that out yet. But when I do I want to ask the asshole why he never hung around " Jamie pushed himself off the door & went to supervise another area of the house.

Later that afternoon Caleb threw his keys on the sideboard as he walked inside his home, he kicked his boots off in the hall & dumped his bag on the floor. Stripping off his dirt & dust ridden clothes he shuffled into the kitchen & grabbed a beer from the fridge. Gulping down the cool liquid he let out a groan. There really was nothing better than coming home to a quiet house & a nice cold beer.

Caleb had lived by himself for the past four years, there were no friends waiting to greet him nor any female companions. He could drop his clothes where he wanted, he could drink from the milk carton without being nagged hell he could even walk around naked.

Caleb had no attachments & no one to answer to. Free as a bird. The way he always wanted to be. Sitting on the worn leather couch Caleb kicked up his heels & finished the cool beer, shortly after he fell asleep.

_As their hands entwined he moved them to the sides of her head, thrust after thrust he filled her completely. When she grabbed a handful of his hair tugging him down to kiss her Caleb let go spilling his love into her & whispered his true feelings._

_" I love you Hanna "_

_" Stay with me a little longer? " Hanna whispered back._

Caleb shot up from the couch knocking the beer bottle on to the floor, he was shocked he remembered that night so vividly. What bothered him the most was those last few words

_Stay with me a little longer..._


	5. Chapter 5

" Kennedy! Where the hell are those dresses? They were suppose to be here first thing this morning! I can't put the dresses on the rack in the order they're suppose to be in if we don't have all of them! " Hanna called out from the other side of the room.

" They should have been here over an hour ago, I'll see why Jimmy hasn't bought them up here yet " Kennedy picked herself up off the floor & marched toward the phone.

After screaming through the ear piece for five minutes Kennedy slammed it back in its cradle.

" He's coming. One of the dresses got caught and almost ripped ".

" What! " Hanna's shrieked, her voice echoing across the room.

" Breathe Hanna! The dress is ok. It wasn't ruined and that's all that matters " Kennedy went back to sorting through the accessories that matched the outfits.

" I swear this is the worse week ever! I hate when we do the fashion show, Mr Jenkins expects us to make this place look like New York Fashion week "

" And you know it always does by the time we're finished with it " Kennedy laughed.

" I've missed so much at home this week with Thomas, I don't know what's worse. The stress here or the guilt at home " Hanna wiped the back of her hand across her damp forehead.

" Here " Kennedy handed her a glass of whiskey. " You clearly need this ". Kennedy drank her entire glass of whiskey in one mouthful. Hanna took a small mouthful & scrunched her face at the foul taste on her tongue.

" And that Kennedy " she pointed to the glass " Is why I never drink spirits. I'm a wine person " Hanna pressed her lips to the back of her hand.

" Well that I know, but when you're stressing whiskey is needed. And doesn't Thomas have your Mom around this week? " Kennedy refilled her glass.

" Yeah he does but that doesn't mean I don't feel guilty. I hate being away from him but I also know if I want to get where I want to be with my career and give him the things he needs, I have to do this. You wouldn't really understand " Hanna waved her hand in the air.

" Why? Because I'm single. Because I have a different bed buddy every weekend. Because I have no desire to have one, two or even three little snot bags running around? I love my body and I love my lifestyle " Kennedy snapped back at Hanna.

" That's not what I meant " Hanna turned to face her, she was tired and didn't need this on top of her workload.

" No, I know what you meant. Just because I have womanly parts that means I have to pro-create? Maybe I don't have that " maternal " instinct that comes so easily to women, I'd rather not give birth to a child I could end up resenting & I'd rather not put someone else through that either. Having a child is a huge responsibility. Not having children is a choice, just like you having a kid on your own was a choice " Kennedy defended herself while still sorting through the accessories, she'd heard it too often from friends who had gone off, got married and settled down with the standard two point five children.

" Kennedy! " Hanna raised her voice trying to reason with her.

" No, you know what? " Kennedy picked up her stationary and designs off of the floor " I think I've had enough for tonight. I've busted my balls all day. You can sort through the rest of those dresses because I'm going to go home, drink my whiskey & fall asleep in my clean peaceful house " Kennedy threw her things on her desk & stormed past Hanna.

* * *

><p>Sitting at home a few weeks later she looked at the plans sitting on the floor, shaking her hair Hanna flipped it to one side &amp; groaned. She couldn't get the plans the way she wanted.<p>

While she was trying to run the variables in her head Thomas stomped his way down the hall and dropped beside her.

" Mom, when are we going to the park? I'm tired of being inside " he whined.

" I know baby " she patted his face " I really have to get this done or I could lose my job. And no job means no money. No money equals no house and no computer games or sports ".

" I want to play on the slide at the park instead of playing video games " he threw himself back on the floor.

" Thomas, I can't. I want to but I can't. I have to get all of this done by Monday " Hanna spread her arms out over her work.

" Fine " Thomas walked back to his room hanging his head. Hanna felt even worse, not only had she pissed off Kennedy but her own flesh and blood was turning on her. It was times like this she wished Thomas had a father around or at least some form of a fatherly figure to distract him from his mothers crazy work.

Hanna couldn't stand Thomas being upset with her, their quality time together was blanketed by her work. She crawled across the floor to her handbag and pulled out her phone.

Two & a half hours later Thomas rushed from his room toward the front door. Hanna attempted crawling across the floor to beat Thomas to the door but he was too fast. The door flung open & Jamie looked down at Hanna on her knees tugging the back of Thomas' shirt.

" Well don't everyone rush to the door it's only me " Jamie laughed.

" Jamie! " Thomas jumped into his arms, Jamie tossed him on his back & stepped into the foyer.

" Jamie, can you take me to the park since Mom can't? " Hanna dropped her head & felt guilty all over again.

" Well you see Thomas, I have this big swing outside my_ huge_ house " Jamie looked mischievous.

" You do? " Thomas asked.

" Yep, & I also have a big TV, four pizza's, a big ol' bucket of popcorn for tonight but... I have no friends " Jamie shrugged his shoulders & pouted. Thomas opened his mouth wide & let out the loudest laugh.

" You have friends...but they're pretty stupid if they don't want any pizza " Thomas wrapped his arms around Jamie's neck even tighter and looked to his mother.

" Mom, can I go to Jamie's for a sleep over. He can't eat four pizza's to himself on a Saturday night " Hanna smiled at Jamie and swung her thumb over her shoulder.

" Go pack your bag! " Thomas jumped down and ran to his room throwing clothes into his army green overnight bag.

" Thank you Jamie. I feel rotten, I've got this big fashion show next week and I just can't seem to get everything where I need it to be " Hanna rubbed her hands over her face. Jamie placed his hands on her shoulders holding her firmly in place.

" Hanna, just breathe. I love taking Thomas, he's a great kid and you're a terrific mother. Don't be so hard on yourself ".

" Oh that reminds me! Thomas has been having some allergies lately so I'll pack some medicine for him just in case " Hanna moved into the kitchen, Jamie followed. He looked around the room at the mess built up on the counter and in the sink, Hanna was usually so clean & organized.

" Just give me a second " Hanna ducked past Jamie & ran for the bathroom, she hadn't realized how long she'd been sitting on the floor. Her legs ached and she was busting to go to the bathroom.

While Hanna was in the bathroom & Thomas was packing his bag Jamie looked at the paperwork stacked high on the counter. Most of it was related to Hanna's job but when he saw the word passport on an application form he couldn't resist.

One piece of paper could have all the answers he'd been looking for.

He looked at the forms only to realize it was Hanna's, he quickly searched for another application finding it at the bottom of the pile. He scrolled down the page to looking for the information he needed but Hanna rounded the corner.

" So what time do you want to bring Thomas back? " Jamie quickly pushed the form under the pile of paperwork where he originally found it.

" How does six o'clock tomorrow night sound? That gives you plenty of time to sort out whatever it is you're trying to do " he smiled at Hanna, little did she know how disappointed she was in herself.

" Thank you again Jamie " Hanna crossed her hands over her heart.

" I'm ready Jamie! Lets do this! " Thomas came into the kitchen dragging his bag beside him. " Bye Mom! " Thomas gave Hanna a hug before marching toward the door right. Jamie kissed Hanna on her forehead and wished her luck.

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><p>Once Thomas had settled in at Jamie's they sat down on the couch looking at the four pizza's Jamie had ordered, the bucket of popcorn &amp; three bottles of soda.<p>

" Are we really going to eat all this Jamie? Our belly's are going to be so fat! " Thomas laughed.

" Not just us, I've invited another friend " he grinned.

" Who?! I thought you said you didn't have any friends? " Thomas stood up in front of Jamie with his hands on his hips. " Who did you invite to share our pizza's with? ". Just as Thomas demanded answers the doorbell rang.

" Must be my other friend " Jamie whispered & walked over to the door, very slowly he reached for the handle when it rung again.

" Oh my god! " Jamie covered his mouth and looked scared.

" Jamie! Open the door! You're so silly " Thomas laughed. Jamie opened the door and Thomas hid on the side of the couch not realizing his feet were poking out.

" You here alone? " said Caleb.

" Yep. There's no one else here " Jamie winked at Caleb and pointed to Thomas sitting on the floor beside the couch. Caleb squinted until he saw the sole of two small feet, he wasn't sure he wanted to enter anymore. It was one thing to see Thomas for a few minutes, it was an entirely other thing to spend hours together.

" You sure? " Caleb whispered. " I'm not intruding am I? " Caleb waited at the door.

" Don't be silly, come on in " Jamie pulled him inside.

" You got the kid again? " Caleb threw a thumb over his shoulder.

" Yeah. Hanna's stressed out, asked me to baby sit. Do the guy thing you know? ".

" Did I hear you say Caleb? " Thomas popped his head up from the side of the couch. When he saw him at the door he stepped to him & put out his fist for Caleb to pound.

" What's up dude? " Thomas stepped back into the lounge room.

" Oh nothing... feeling hungry. Heard you had some pizza? " Caleb plonked down on the couch.

" We have lots! Cheese pizza and I think this one " Thomas lifted the lid but scrunched up his nose " Is spicy vegetable pizza ". Caleb and Thomas looked at Jamie, in unison they said " Gross! ".

" Well I happen to like it so...shut up! " Jamie pulled a slice from the box and devoured it in front of them.

" So what are we watching? " Caleb flicked through the many DVD's Jamie had laying across the table.

" Back To The Future one two and three! " Thomas reached for a plate & loaded it up, he sat back on the couch and looked at Caleb. " You have to get your pizza first " he pointed at the box. " And no getting in front of the t.v when the movie starts ".

Caleb laughed but did as he was told. It had been such a long time since either of them had watched the Back To The Future trilogy. In fact they had never actually done a movie night together. Back To The Future would always be a classic and the way Thomas' eyes lit up when he saw crazy white haired Doc made Caleb wish he was a kid again, back to when he first saw these movies for the first time. When the second movie was over Jamie popped the third DVD in and excused himself.

" Start this one without me boys, I may be a while " he walked toward the bathroom.

Caleb lent over the table to refill his drink when his ball chain fell out from his shirt.

" What is that? " Thomas pointed to the tags hanging from his neck.

" These " Caleb lifted into his fingers. Thomas nodded. " They're dog tags, just something I keep on me in case anything happens like if I get hurt in an accident or something ".

" And what does it say? " Thomas sat on his knees and pulled the tags into his own fingers.

" It has my name, when I was born, my blood type & who to contact if something happens " Caleb watched as Thomas moved closer to him and stared at his tags in amazement.

" They're cool! I want some " he let them go and moved back to the couch. " The only thing I like in Mom 's box of rings and stuff is a silver ring attached to a chain. She almost lost it last year when I took it to school to show my teacher. I got grounded for a week and had no TV or anything ".

" That's harsh " Caleb tried not to laugh.

" I know right? " Thomas' eyes went wide and he raised his squeaky voice. " I asked her why she was mad at me she said someone special gave her that ring. She said it was my father and it was one of the last things he gave her before he got lost. I don't know how anyone gets lost these days because don't we all have a GPS in the car. Maybe he was walking? I don't know "Thomas shrugged his shoulders.

" What did it look like? The ring that is " Caleb asked Thomas.

" It was silver but on the inside it said always you. Can you push play now? I want to see what happens " Thomas sat back on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV. Caleb stood up & went to rinse his cup in the kitchen. He thought over what Thomas had said and then it hit him like a tonne of bricks.

The glass in his hand smashed all over the floor & he remembered, two weeks before he moved to Ravenswood he gave Hanna a simple ring. It wasn't a friendship ring or an engagement ring not even a commitment ring it was just a ring. Simply because he loved her, Always.

After cleaning up the broken glass off the floor he walked back into the lounge room and stood in front of Thomas, trying to sort out in his head the bombshell that had just dropped.

" You going to watch this or not? " Thomas looked up at him. Caleb sat beside him but he eyes kept wandering from the screen to Thomas.

Thomas couldn't possibly be his son, Hanna may have lied to him in the past but there was no way in hell she would keep this from him or from Jamie.

_**Or would she...?**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hey everyone, sorry this has taken such a long time despite promising some of you I was "almost" done. I have a problem with the back of my brain & my back, it's causing a great deal of issues with my health. Some days I am up & about like normal & other days I am sleeping the day away because I'm in so much pain. Hope you can forgive me & enjoy the chapter. It takes a great big leap! :) _** ❤

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

It had been one month since Caleb found out he fathered a child, and not just any child. Hanna's child. His high school love. His first & only love.

He couldn't wrap his head how it happened; he knew _how_ it happened he just didn't know how he forgot to use protection. It was the one thing they _never_ disagreed on. Except that one night, they let their guard down & as a result they'd created the coolest & cutest kid he had ever come across.

What bothered him more than not knowing he was a father, was all the things he missed out on. Watching his child grow inside the woman he loved, feeling the baby's first movements & kicks. Watching the sonograph monitor intensely as the image of their child appeared on the screen and hearing his heart beat for the first time. Caleb would have loved to seen Hanna glowing with pregnancy and laugh at her ridiculous cravings even if it would've been at two in the morning.

The proud feeling of creating their sons nursery and the anxious wait as he made his grand entrance into the world. Caleb would have relished every moment even if Hanna had of broke his hand during labor. He wouldn't have cared, he would have given them the moon if they asked for it.

Robbed of the beautiful moment where he would've held his son for the first time and listened to the screeching sound of his cry, watching Hanna naturally feed their son and stroke his dainty little head as they both looked down on him with unconditional love. It would have been a beautiful moment he'd remember forever.

Entering their home as a family for the very first time & humming the tune of a nineteen sixties rock band at four in the morning while Hanna slept on the couch after being awake with their son for twelve hours straight. Watching their son grow smiling and laughing at the littlest things, watching with excitement and encouraging their son to take his first steps.

Listening ever so close as he spoke his first words & teaching him more, feeling the tug in his heart when he says goodbye to Thomas on his first day of pre-school & watching him shoot through the park unassisted on his bike squealing with joy.

His first day of elementary school would be even harder than the first day of pre-school, Caleb could just imagine having to hold Hanna as their son runs off into the playground to play with new friends forgetting the two people who have been there every day for the past five years.

All the things Caleb could've been there for but wasn't. And not because he didn't want to be but because someone else made that choice for him. If his head was in the right place at the time he probably would have married Hanna, but it wasn't.

Caleb struggled to cope with the death of Miranda and felt responsible for her, she had no family to remember who she was. Although Caleb only knew her for a couple of days he felt like he'd known her in a past life. He'd found someone who could understand what it felt like to be rejected, to be shut out & forced to live in a cruel world.

He knew Hanna would always listen if he ever needed to talk but there was something different about Miranda, they were two people with the same past colliding for a moment in time only to separate again. Miranda's death took a toll on Caleb, he couldn't accept how his life was more important than hers. Why did she have to die that night on the bridge? Why wasn't it him? Why was he spared? Was it fate or was it just pure luck?

Caleb spiraled out of control, he dropped out of school and started drinking, experimenting with alternate ways of ending his life. Standing on the rickety wooden rails of Martin's Bridge well after midnight Caleb would open his arms out wide and let the breeze flow past, if he fell he fell. He didn't care anymore.

Hanna hadn't contacted him since the night they spent together, Miranda was gone and his mother had cut him out of her life again after he dropped out of school to become a gravedigger. All he had was his father but he worked long hours six days a week leaving him alone most of the time. When the voices in his head kept him awake at night Caleb would runaway from home & sleep under the train bridge in the darkest corner battling his demons.

He went unnoticed for months until Jamie received a call from the local police, Caleb was acting erratic in the town center. When Jamie arrived on scene Caleb was repeatedly hitting the side of his head with his palm and screaming for someone to shut up, Jamie had never seen anything like it and didn't know how to respond. He got close enough to tackle Caleb to the ground even though he fought and screamed at the top of his lungs the police handcuffed Caleb & took him to the hospital for a psychiatric assessment.

From then on Jamie changed his hours and focused more on Caleb's emotional state, he hadn't realized how close he'd come to losing him until a month later when the psychologist reported Caleb was suffering a nervous breakdown.

Given the circumstances at the time Hanna was probably right to keep the pregnancy a secret, he was in no frame of mind to be a father. Caleb had to wonder though if Hanna told him she was pregnant with their child, would he have of sought help with his depression & anxiety? Could he of changed his life for the sake of his family? Questions that could never be answered, Hanna took away his right to experience fatherhood & the chance to change the parental history of males in his family.

It hurt him more than she could ever know.

" Another refill Caleb? " the bar tender asked.

" I'll pass thanks Johnny , god knows I need one though " Caleb ran his hand through his hair and looked around the bar. Women in skimpy outfits flirting over any man that would buy them a drink, it made Caleb turn in disgust. Have they no class?

" Something up? " Johnny asked as he wiped down the sticky polished wooden bench.

" Something " Caleb rubbed his forehead. The longer he sat on it the bigger the issue became.

" Must be something big, in all the years you've been coming here I've never seen you like this " Johnny pointed at him.

" Ever had someone lie to you or keep something from you? " Caleb asked.

" Everyone lies Caleb " Johnny looked over the beer taps.

" What about something unforgivable? ".

" Depends on what the unforgivable is? There's few things in this world that are unforgivable. Hurting a child whether it be physical, emotional or psychological " Johnny held his finger to his lips " hurting a woman and...animals! There's no valid excuse for hurting any of those unless of course they're attacking you first. That's the only exception " Johnny tossed the wet towel in the basket.

" What about lying to someone about something they did because they thought they we're protecting them or the thing they'd done? " Caleb asked.

" People can't decide what is better for someone without giving them the opportunity to defend what they'd done - the exception being for mentally unstable people, _sometimes_ those people need someone else to make those decisions for them. Everyone else deserves a chance, worse case scenario it blows up in their face. Only then, can they say they tried and it didn't work " Johnny served another customer but kept looking over at Caleb.

" How'd you get so wise Johnny? " Caleb laughed and threw down a twenty.

" Its a gift " Johnny shrugged his shoulders. " Stay safe " he called out as Caleb walked out the door waving his hand in the air.

Making his way back home Caleb stopped at the traffic light & stared off into the distance, he thought about the day he told Hanna he loved her. Words he thought he'd never tell another person, most of his childhood he thought no one could ever love him. The thought of ever loving someone was a foreign concept, but later in his teenage years his luck changed. He met a girl who changed his world & loved him unconditionally.

In all the years since they parted he never dated a blonde & never let a woman sleep in his sheets, it was always the other way around. Thinking about it now it seemed so stupid, why shouldn't he sleep with a blonde? They could be a thousand times as good or even better than Hanna ever was but he'd never know. It was his policy even if he didn't recognize what it truly meant.

Throwing his keys into the bowl by the door Caleb kicked his shoes off & took a long hot shower. Sitting on the edge of the bed with only a towel wrapped around his wet body Caleb hung his head in his hands, he felt betrayed and hurt. How could she mess up his life like this? What on earth made her think this was a good idea & that he would never find out?

Thomas knew his grandfather better than he knew his own father, it was a trait Caleb didn't want repeated in future generations. He tossed his towel aside and tugged on a pair of black boxers, laying on the bed he stared at the ceiling & hoped he would find some peace in the dark.

* * *

><p>" Thanks Lacey " Caleb accepted his coffee &amp; winked at the brunette barista behind the counter. He quickly walked past the morning rush lining up inside the coffee shop. He was sure most of the male patrons waiting to be served were there to see Lacey, yes their coffee was great but being served by a cute little brunette before joining the daily grind sure did make the day more tolerable.<p>

Jumping into his truck Caleb started making his way to work when his phone began to ring, he pulled over & answered the call.

" Hey Dad, whats up? ".

" I need you to swing by my place before coming in this morning. I left the god damn cheque book in my office & those materials for the Halliday cabin need to be paid for " Jamie requested. Caleb didn't argue, he knew the Halliday account was a big score for his Dad's company. The Halliday's were from old money & had plenty to spend, securing them was going to open doors to even more clients.

" No worries, I'll swing by & meet you where? " Caleb had to ask. Jamie was here there and everywhere lately securing contracts, his company was growing with each job contract he secured. He was creating jobs and making quite a name for himself as being a well respected restorer.

" I'll be at the Rampton house signing off. The job is finished, it just needs a final inspection ".

" Alright I'll see you there " Caleb hung up and pulled out into traffic again, when he finally arrived at Jamie's house - the first house they restored together after his nervous breakdown - he went straight for the office and started rummaging under all the paperwork.

When he found the cheque book he tucked it into his back pocket, bumping the desk on his way out a little black book fell on the floor. He bent down reading the golden font then tossed it back on the desk & walked out into the hall. He stopped suddenly & wondered if Hanna's details would be inside that little black book. He never pried into Jamie's private life but the opportunity had arrived & Caleb couldn't help himself.

He stepped back into the room & flicked through to the letter M, he didn't have to look for long because her name was at the top of the page. Her address, phone number, email, work everything! Caleb pulled out his phone taking a snap shot of her details and walked back to his truck.

* * *

><p>A week later Caleb left work early, he hadn't told anyone where he was going not even his father. If Jamie knew where he was going he'd stop him in a heart beat. He had to do this though, he couldn't sit on it any longer. His child was out there all alone thinking his father wanted nothing to do with him when truthfully Caleb wanted to be with Thomas everyday from here on out. He wanted to watch him play sport &amp; achieve in academics, he wanted to be there when he got home from school &amp; the last person he saw before he went to bed.<p>

The only problem was Hanna standing in the middle making all the decisions & calling all the shots.

Caleb pulled into her street & parked several doors down from her house under a large tree, he pulled the hood on his car & looked at the engine like he had no idea what it did.

" You need some help there? " a middle aged lady came out from her house & approached Caleb.

" I think my car is overheating " Caleb scratched the back of his head looked dumbfounded.

" I can call someone if you like? " she offered politely.

" I'm with AAA but thank you anyway " Caleb closed the hood & pulled his phone out of his top pocket pretending like he was calling AAA. He had to create a cover if he was going to stalk his ex-girlfriend & his son. He might have been on the straightened arrow for years now but he still remembered his skills. Create a story to distract from the truth, people were always so gullible if you sold the story properly.

For half an hour he watched & waited intently, when Hanna finally arrived home with Thomas Caleb sat up in his seat & pulled his visor down. He saw Hanna pull her handbag from the back of her car followed by Thomas' school bag, his eyes followed them until they went inside the house. He wished to god he could see inside and view all the memories they'd created together. But then he remembered he wasn't a part of any of them, _should_ have been but wasn't.

Moments later Hanna & a soccer clad Thomas exited the front door, they got into their car & started pulling out into the street toward his car. Caleb turned his head ducking toward the passenger seat hoping Hanna didn't see him or Thomas didn't recognize his truck. When it was safe Caleb turned his truck around & started following Hanna keeping a safe distance behind her, he didn't want to freak her out he just wanted to watch what he was missing out on. He wasn't sure what his next move was but the more he watched the more he wanted to be with them.

If only things were different. If he didn't go to Ravenswood & have a nervous breakdown he'd would of been with the person he loved & had it all. Hanna, Thomas & maybe more. Caleb watched closely as Hanna pulled into a sporting ground & made her way over to the bleachers sitting amongst the group of soccer Moms & Dads.

She looked like she belonged there all along, he watched her from afar. Many of the fathers seem to go out of their way to say hello to her but she was one hundred percent focused on Thomas. When Caleb seen her stand up & cheer he turned his attention to the soccer field where his son scored his first goal, Thomas was so excited & threw both his arms in the air looking straight at Hanna.

" Good job Thomas! " Hanna cheered. Even though he hadn't made a claim to Thomas yet, he was proud to be there for his first soccer goal. Something both parents should have been there for not just his mother. When the game was over Caleb quickly moved toward his truck watching Hanna & Thomas again. He had trouble keeping track of them in the crowd of families but once he seen her car pulling out of the car park he followed her home again.

Another hour had past as he waited patiently snacking on chips & soft drink he'd bought earlier that day. When a silver mini-van pulled into their driveway the front door opened quickly & Thomas bounced out the door with his bag on his back.

" Bye Mom! " Thomas ran to his friend standing outside the car.

" Bye Thomas! Thank you Sally, my turn next weekend? " Hanna stepped onto the lawn her arms around her waist in black yoga pants & a purple tank top.

" As always. See you tomorrow Hanna " the woman smiled and closed the door on her car. Hanna waved until the car was out of sight before returning to the house. Caleb knew this was his opportunity, Thomas was away from the house and he could confront Hanna to find out the truth once & for all without hurting Thomas.

He waited another fifteen minutes before making the dreaded call, he was making contact with the woman he once loved & the mother of his child. The phone rang twice before Hanna answered the call, Caleb felt his heart pounding at the sound of her voice.

" Hello " Hanna replied. Caleb was silent, it had been years since they last spoke & he couldn't think of a damn word to say. " Hello? " Hanna asked again.

" Hanna... " was all he could say.

" Yes this is she " she replied. She was used to getting calls from random people, they were usually department stores or suppliers from work but never after hours.

" Is it true? " Caleb asked as he got out of his car and slowly made his way toward her front door.

" Is what true? " Hanna asked. She was confused already, as a safe precaution she moved toward the door & locked it just as Caleb came through the front gate.

" Thomas " Caleb replied. He was short & blunt with his questions because he didn't know how to approach the situation any easier.

" What about Thomas? " Hanna said defensively. " And who exactly am I talking to? " she asked.

" When I ask the next question you'll know the answer to both " Caleb said as he stalked toward the front door. " Is. He. Mine? " Caleb asked slowly. Hanna went quite as it dawned on her, she was talking to Caleb. Her ex-boyfriend. Her first love. The father of her son Thomas.

" I'm guessing by now you know who you're talking to so I'll ask again. Is Thomas_ my_ son? " Caleb asked his question even slower. When Hanna still hadn't responded Caleb made an even bolder move, he raised his left knuckle to her door & knocked slowly three times.

" You can tell me through the phone or to my face but one way or another you're going to tell me if Thomas is my son " Caleb demanded.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! I've had a rough time lately so I do (and will probably keep doing for all future chapters) apologize for the wait, I know you're eager to read what happens next.**

**If you're interested/maybe just curious/maybe even think I'm making things up - check out my profile for details on my condition.**

**So let's get the ball rolling...**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 7<strong>

Hanna screamed & dropped her phone on the floor.

" I'm not leaving until you say it to my face. I know you're in there because I just heard you scream & drop your phone ". Hanna stepped to the window & flicked the wooden blind and there he was, looking as gorgeous as always. His hair was a little shorter, he was much taller and the black tee sat perfectly on his strong body.

She closed the blind and looked through the peak-hole just as Caleb knocked again, Hanna jumped almost slipping on her phone.

" I'm serious Hanna, I want to hear it from your mouth " an angry Caleb said from the other side of the door. Hanna reached for the knob but hesitated. " God damn it Hanna! " Caleb knocked even harder. He was letting his temper get the better of him, what he couldn't understand was even when confronted, she was still hiding behind the door like a coward.

" Ok " she reached for the door. " Just calm down. Stop making a scene " she unhooked the chain & unlocked the door. He took a step back & waited.

" If you want a scene I'll make one! I'm just asking for the truth Hanna. You owe me that much " Caleb placed his hands on his hips. The door creaked open & Hanna appeared. He tried looking into the house but she was smart enough to not open the door.

" Its been a long time " Caleb kept calm & Hanna kept the door closed. She didn't want him seeing all the memories she'd created with Thomas, she knew what his temper was like & could only imagine his response.

" I guess it has been " Hanna's pulse was racing, this wasn't something she'd anticipated. She thought she'd have more time to tell Thomas who his father was, he wasn't ready to understand such a complicated situation.

" So is it true? " Caleb asked. He wasn't waiting a second longer, he had to know now. " Is Thomas my son? " Caleb focused on her, if she tried to lie he'd know it. Hanna nodded her head, but it wasn't enough. He wanted her to verbally admit it. He didn't care if she was hurting, he was hurting more.

" Say it! " he yelled.

" Yes! Thomas is your son " Hanna spilled. Caleb ran his hands through his hair & took two steps back.

" Fuck me Hanna! When were you going to tell me? ". Hanna stepped outside wrapping her arms around her waist. Guilt was emotion she knew all too well.

" When the time was right " she instantly saw the hurt in his eyes. This was killing him.

" And when is that? When Thomas is a teenager and all messed up because he never had a father figure? Or did you forget how much of a mess that was for me? ".

" I didn't forget. I remember everything. I lived it too Caleb not just you! " Hanna reminded him.

" Then why huh? Why did you do what you did knowing my history? My fathers history? Why did you let history repeat itself? ". Caleb never wanted this life for his son, if he knew he had a child coming into this world he would have made sure his family was stable & his son would have damn well known he had two parents who loved him.

" You have no idea what it was like Caleb. I was seventeen and alone. You weren't coming back & you never called! " Hanna scalded him.

" Neither did you! " He yelled back.

" Guess we're both in the wrong then " Hanna wiped her cheek before Caleb could see the one tear falling down her face.

" No way, not me. You! You kept Thomas a secret. You made that choice. You Hanna, not me " Caleb turned to face the street & rambled to himself. " I cant believe I got you pregnant. I should've known better. You should've known better. Of all the things, I have a son. To you! " Caleb turned back to face Hanna.

" You say that like its a bad thing " Hanna wiped the corner of her eyes.

" Don't do that " he shook his head.

" Do what? " Hanna asked.

" Put words in my mouth ". He hated how Hanna could twist his words & make it sound worse than he intended.

" I wasn't " Hanna shook her head fighting back tears.

" You were. Can you for once not treat me like an idiot. I came here to sort out the mess you made ".

" What do you mean sort out? I don't understand " Hanna was confused. Why else did he come if it wasn't just for the truth?

" I came here to find out the truth and now I know, I'm going to do something about it " Caleb stood tall. It was time Thomas knew he had two parents, a mother and a father.

" What something? " Hanna started to worry, she didn't want anyone taking her son away from her. She knew though when Caleb made up his mind he followed it through until the very end.

" Thomas. You said he's my son ".

" Our son " Hanna corrected him.

" He's been your son for the past six years, its time he knew who I really was. I can't un-know what I know. I'm stepping up and taking responsibility for my actions " Caleb crossed his arms. A silent message for Hanna to even attempt changing his mind.

" Don't do this. Don't drag Thomas through that process. I'll give you whatever you want. Visitation, weekends, holidays I'll let you see him just... don't do this to us " Hanna begged him. Caleb thought about it for a second, he'd love to see Thomas more often & get to know him but this was more than that. He was in control of his life and wasn't about to let anyone take advantage of him, especially Hanna.

" Its not about being spiteful or vengeful Hanna, its about making sure I'm protected as a father and furthermore Thomas is protected too ". Caleb had seen it throughout his teenage years, kids were ripped from their parents in custody battles & disagreements, he wasn't about to subject Thomas to that.

" I'm begging you to reconsider this " Hanna reached out but Caleb took a step back. She could feel her heart breaking, the thought of losing Thomas was more than she could bare, he was all she had.

" Its time I right a wrong, I'm doing what my father should have done for me all those years ago " Caleb turned & started walking down the path to his car.

" Caleb! Please! " she called out. " I'm begging you! ".

Caleb clenched his fists & willed himself to keep walking, he couldn't look back. Hanna was such a weak spot for him, he used to hate seeing her upset. All he ever wanted was to see her happy. Once he was back on the freeway Caleb had more time to think about what he was going to do, he wasn't going to follow or contact Hanna again and he wasn't going to tell Jamie what he knew until he legally had it in writing.

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><p>It had been two months since Hanna had heard from Caleb, after their confrontation he disappeared into the night - an act he was quite good at. He hadn't returned to her house since and made no attempts to contact her, which wasn't like Caleb at all - at least the Caleb she thought she knew.<p>

When Caleb stepped forward and made such a bold move, something dramatic usually followed. Only this time there was no bold move, everything was calm & quiet. Hanna kept Thomas as close as she possibly could, she wasn't about to let anyone rip her son away.

" Bye baby, have a good day! " Hanna kissed Thomas on the cheek before he exited the car to go to school. " Nana Ashley will pick you up today ok? ".

" Yep! Got it. Love you Mom " Thomas stepped out & waved back at Hanna. When he was safely inside Hanna pulled away from the curb & started her journey toward work. The traffic was flowing with ease & Hanna arrived at work early for once. With time on her side Hanna walked to the coffee shop a few blocks away to get her usual morning order, with a hot foam cup in her hand she crossed the road and walked another three blocks to collect her mail.

She usually asked her assistant to collect her mail because she could never find the time. She gave one hundred and ten percent to her job & made sure her employers knew she was worth every cent.

When Hanna unlocked her postal box she reached in to the darkened hole, pulling out five envelopes inside, she flicked through them reading out loud who they were from until she reached the very last one. She didn't recognize the name at all so she tore it open & began reading its content.

She mumbled random words until she finally came to his name, the second she realized what the letter was about she dropped her coffee & the remaining letters on the ground below.

" Oh no! ". Hanna screamed when the hot coffee hit the ground & splashed all over her bare legs & her white heels. " Ah! Shit! " she hissed. She bent down to pick up the coffee soaked letters and shook off the excess liquid. She threw the now empty coffee cup in the bin & started walking toward work. She walked through the lobby & was greeted with sympathetic ooo's and ahh's. When she reached her office she threw the soaked letters onto her desk & slipped off her heels.

After cleaning off her legs & heels she went through Kennedy's spare work clothes & borrowed a skirt. Just as she zipped it up Kennedy walked in to their office with two coffees in a cardboard tray.

" Bought you coffee Han! " she swirled them in the air.

" Or the devil in disguise! " Hanna walked back over to her desk & slumped in her chair.

" Bad morning? " Kennedy asked.

" I was having a great day until fifteen minutes ago, then I had a heart attack & burnt myself! " Hanna reapplied her lipstick in the small mirror she kept in her side drawer.

" What happened fifteen minutes ago? " Kennedy sat on the edge of Hanna's desk.

" Uh, nothing. Forget I said anything " Hanna tried changing the subject. She didn't share things about her private life at work. " Coffee please? " she held her hand out.

" Oh no you don't! You're doing it again Hanna " Kennedy stood tall.

" Doing what? " Hanna again reached for the coffee but Kennedy refuse to give in until she told her why she was having a bad morning. " Kennedy, come on! This is childish " Hanna begged as she rounded her desk.

" No whats childish is we work all day five times a week & I barely know anything about Hanna Marin outside of this building. You know everything about me ".

" Because you tell me everything whether I want to or not! " Hanna laughed.

" I like to think of it as you, living vicariously through me, now spill! ". When she stayed quiet Kennedy bought Hanna's coffee to her lips. " I'll drink both of these if you don't spill " Kennedy took a step back and another when Hanna tried moving closer to her.

" Ok fine, but promise me you wont judge. It was a rough time in my life ".

" Really Hanna? " Kennedy laughed. " A rough time? You're smart & beautiful as hell, I cant imagine you having a rough time " Kennedy looked Hanna up & down. " Was it Daddy? Or the evil step-mother? ".

" The latter is a story for another day but yes, really. Now give me the coffee and you'll get your answer " Hanna reached out again.

" Not how the world works honey, first you talk then you get the goods " Kennedy moved toward the small round couch in the middle of the room and patted the seat beside her.

" Ok fine. So six years ago I fell pregnant with Thomas but I lied to everyone about who his father was " Hanna reached for the coffee but Kennedy twisted her body hiding the coffee from her.

" Why? " she asked bluntly.

" I don't know, I was scared. And I was stupid. Thomas' father & I, at the time we weren't in a good place, we were silent & didn't agree on anything so we ended it after almost two years. Thomas was our goodbye " Hanna's eyes filled with water at the thought of their last night together.

" Oh...you're not kidding? Damn, so what happened next? " Kennedy pried.

" He moved to another town & we never spoke again. Two months ago he shows at my house & asks is Thomas his. I don't know how he found out but I told him the truth regardless, he was so angry when he left. This morning when I collected my mail there was a letter from a lawyers office requesting a DNA sample " Hanna held back tears.

" Fuck me. You...You need a good family lawyer Hanna " Kennedy handed Hanna the coffee immediately.

" I know, and now I have to take Thomas for testing which means I have to tell him who his father is. I don't want to lose my son Kennedy, I just...I can't " she sobbed.

" Let me help you. I have a friend who went through a nasty custody battle with her asshole of a cheating Husband, she had a great family lawyer. Cleaned out his bank account & got full custody of the children, I'll find you his number " Kennedy went to her desk, picked up her phone & started scrolling, she looked over at Hanna. " Stop looking at me like that. I know its a shock but yes I do have friends with children too, doesn't mean I like children. I just know people who have them ".

" Thank you " Hanna wiped her eyes.

" You can thank me by telling me all the glory details about your son's father. His name, what he looks like, how good or bad the sex was. I mean it, lose that prudish look because at least then I can confirm Thomas was born from you having sex with someone & not from an immaculate conception ". Hanna let out a laugh, even through the worst kind of situation Kennedy could still make people laugh.

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><p>Three weeks later, on the final day they had to present for the DNA testing, Hanna sat with Thomas inside the sterile clinic. The floors were spotless &amp; the windows facing the small outdoor garden had been cleaned so much you could almost see your reflection, each room had a hand sanitizer pump outside &amp; each nurse wore a mask to cover their mouth. At least Hanna could rest at ease knowing the clinic took their hygiene very seriously.<p>

" Mom, what are we doing here? It looks like a hospital only smaller " Thomas stared up at her.

" Uh, we have to get a little test done " she stroked his hair.

" But I'm not sick " he stated.

" Its just a little test to make sure you don't have anything you shouldn't. Its more a safety thing " Hanna hugged him resting her chin on his head, she hated lying to him but she still wasn't ready to tell him who his father was even though Caleb was pushing it along faster than she would have liked.

" Thomas Marin " the petite red headed nurse called out into the hall.

" That's us baby, come on " Hanna put her hand out to guide Thomas but he marched straight into the little room. Hanna looked on as Thomas sat on the bed & watched the nurse open a small but long box, she pulled out a long q-tip & asked Thomas to say ahh. Hanna watched the petite nurse swab his mouth & put the cotton tip into a tube writing down his details. She could have told the nurse there and then what the outcome was going to be, Caleb Rivers was with a doubt a thousand percent Thomas Marin's father, not that she would have cared because this was just another DNA test. The nurse informed them they were free to go but as they walked out Thomas turned around and asked a question.

" When will I find out if I have anything? ".

" What do you mean little man? " the nurse asked.

" My Mom said we were testing to see if I had anything, so when will I know? " he asked again. The nurse looked at Hanna as she bought a finger to her pouted lips and shook her head. When the nurse realized what Hanna was saying she did her best to ease out of the situation.

" Well uh, how about this, if we find anything I'll give you a ring. If you don't get a call from me by next month then you're as healthy as can be ok? " she turned & pulled a red lolly pop from a large plastic jar. " How about in the meantime, if its ok with your Mom you have this? " she handed it to him while Hanna nodded her approval.

" Thank you " Thomas put the lolly-pop in his pocket as Hanna lead him out into the hall, she turned her head & mouthed a thank you to the nurse.

On the ride home Thomas fell asleep in his chair, Hanna kept looking at how peaceful he seemed & wondered how Thomas would handle knowing he does have a father. Whether she told him when he woke next or in a months time or six months time, their lives were going to change.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone... finally right? I am in no better condition than before but I have been writing. HEAPS! So enjoy and I'll post more soon-er rather than later.  
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><p><strong>CHAPTER 8<strong>

Every day for the past four weeks, Caleb searched his mailbox like a mad man hoping to find the letter of confirmation that Thomas Marin was indeed his son.

His flesh and blood.

But the letter never came. Caleb grew more impatient than the days before & became even more bitter toward Hanna and the system for making him wait to be with his son. Mr Gore his lawyer, advised he remain completely neutral & refrain from making contact with Hanna or Thomas, he didn't agree at all but Mr Gore explained his behavior had to be exemplary if he wanted to secure legal custody of Thomas.

Caleb had already been for a psychiatric assessment to prove he was mentally stable, proof he had a safe & stable home, a steady income & character references. All he was waiting for was the letter of confirmation so they could proceed with mediation.

Six weeks more had passed & Caleb was fed up, it had been four months since he'd last seen Thomas. He was starting to forget what he looked like, other than his brown hair & brown eyes, the image of Thomas was becoming that of a blur. His son was disappearing from his memory.

It was Friday afternoon & despite it being a rather cool day Caleb sat on his front porch in his dirty work clothes with an almost full bottle of scotch in his hand, he swirled the liquid around in the glass before swallowing it down in one big gulp. He poured himself another glass just as Jamie pulled into his driveway.

" Hey, Johnny said you've been missing lately " he stepped toward Caleb. Jamie pulled up quick though when he spotted the bottle of scotch on the porch. " Rough week huh? " Jamie pointed. Caleb usually stuck to drinking beer, if he was hitting the spirits he was generally stressing out about something.

" See for yourself " Caleb reached behind him & handed Jamie the letter.

" What's this? " Jamie pointed at the envelope before taking it in his hands.

" Lineage. Future Generations. Lies. Betrayal. Everything " Caleb swallowed another half glass of scotch. Jamie's brows furrowed as he opened the letter wondering what the hell Caleb was talking about. When he read the most important line in the letter he looked back to him.

" What the hell is this Caleb? " he demanded.

" I'm going to ask you something Jamie & I want nothing but the truth. No lies " Caleb stood tall puffing his chest out.

" Well since you're calling me Jamie and not Dad, I'm guessing you're mad about something? " he asked, Caleb nodded.

" Did Hanna ever ask you to lie to me? To keep a secret? To protect me? "

" No " Jamie answered immediately, Caleb nodded but still doubted Jamie.

" Are you sure? Because if she did, I might be able to wrap my head around why she did what she did ". Caleb poured himself another glass and drank it quickly. Jamie reached for the bottle but Caleb stepped in his way.

" So you didn't know? Not a single word. Not even all those times you went and visited her and just didn't tell me? " Caleb looked fierce.

" No " Jamie looked straight into Caleb's eyes. Something was drowning him from the inside out. " And know what? What am I missing? ".

" Thomas, Hanna's son! He's ours! Well mine but yours too as a result! I'm Thomas' father! " Caleb admitted.

" What? How? I mean not how, but when? " Jamie cleared his throat & waited as Caleb told him.

" You remember when I first arrived to Ravenswood and I had that fight with Mom over the phone about dropping out of school and working for that creep? And then that girl I was helping, she died & my other friends got hurt too. Well I went back to Rosewood to see Hanna but I couldn't stay there either, my head was way too messed up. Hanna and I had sex one last time before we parted ways for good. That night, we created Thomas, only she never told me! She probably shouldn't have given my mental stability at the time but still... " Caleb poured himself another glass except Jamie grabbed hold of it before he could drink it.

" She should have told you. No matter what " Jamie tossed the scotch into the grass & waited until Caleb looked at him.

" The last time you had Thomas over, while you were in the bathroom he told me something that only Hanna & I could know. I started putting the pieces together and confronted Hanna at her house ". Jamie's mouth dropped in shock.

" You...went to see Hanna? And what? What happened? " he asked.

" I demanded she tell me if he was mine which she did but I didn't believe her. I needed proof, hard proof he was mine so I started proceedings- " Caleb was cut short by Jamie.

" Proceedings? What do you mean proceedings? What did you do? ".

" I started with a DNA test, and now its confirmed I'm asking for shared custody. I've already met with a lawyer & got all my ducks lined up " Caleb drew an invisible line in the air & grabbed the glass from Jamie's hand turning his back to him & poured another half glass.

" That's a big step son " Jamie took a step back. Caleb nodded his head & told Jamie he's already had counseling. Jamie started asking a million and one questions like what he's going to do if he gets shared custody & how does Hanna feel about everything? Has he spoken to her since & what about work? What about uprooting Thomas from the life Hanna has built for the two of them? Caleb didn't have the answers but the more Jamie asked the more it sounded like he was on Hanna's side, Caleb smashed the glass on the ground below him and yelled for his father to stop.

" He's my fucking son too! I deserve to have him too! Not just Hanna! " his chest rose & fell rapidly.

" And what if she runs, huh? " Jamie asked. He knew Hanna had a life here but women did extraordinary things when they felt threatened.

" Well that's kind of the point isn't it? Getting legal rights to my son so she can't take him away from me ever again. I'm sick of the men in this family not having any options when it comes to the women we love and the children we choose to bring into this world! They have controlled our fate for far too long and I'm doing whats right for me and my son. And to hell with what Hanna thinks! She should have thought about that before she decided to keep my son a secret ". Jamie didn't feel the need to say anything else, Caleb said everything Jamie should have said & done to Claudia years ago. He should have done what was right, he should have stayed clean & out of trouble for the sake of his family, he should have never given up on their relationship and most certainly never given up on his son.

He shouldn't have waited until his son was almost a man before he made contact again.

Jamie walked inside to grab a dustpan from the kitchen to clean up the mess outside but instead he noticed how the inside of the house had changed,no longer was there work items lying around on the floor, the walls in the entry way, lounge room, kitchen area & hall had been freshly painted, the floor boards had been sanded back & polished, the kitchen had new bench top counters & a breakfast bar along with new tiling. He could clearly see Caleb was changing the look of his house, it no longer resembled a bachelor pad instead it looked more like a home where a family could live.

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><p>A week later Hanna was sitting on her bed in her favorite blue sweat pants &amp; over sized grey jumper. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head &amp; her face free of make up, these kinds of weekends were the ones Hanna cherished the most with Thomas. It was the one night a week they just chilled out, no sports and no work just the two of them with their regular large cheesy pizza &amp; double chocolate chip ice cream on a Saturday night.<p>

Hanna sipped on her wine & looked at the envelope sitting on her side table, she knew what it was but had no desire to open it. Her biggest secret was officially on the record, she had given birth to Caleb Rivers son & failed to tell him, and now he was fighting her to see him.

Her lie was crashing down around her, and soon enough she'd be in court giving her side of the story while her former love sat meters from her killing her with silence.

Hanna gulped down a second glass of wine & sat it on the side table, she contemplated pouring herself another glass but it thought it was best to not get tipsy while Thomas was in her care, she could at least wait until he went to bed before she had more.

Hanna stepped inside her closet & opened the black box at the very back of her closet, it had been years since she opened it and for good reasons. The last time she looked in the box, she went into labor with Thomas.

Pulling the heavy duty red tape off the top of the box Hanna opened the lid & pulled out the first photo from the top, it was the very first photo she took of Caleb. They were sitting on the fold out couch in the basement of her childhood home, Caleb was upgrading another kids phone & Hanna thought it was a good idea to take a photo.

_" Did you just take a photo of me? " Caleb looked up from what he was doing._

_" Yeah, I just realized I don't have a photo of you. I don't really have anything of you "._

_" I haven't ever had anything to give so..." Caleb shrugged. Hanna immediately put the phone down & just studied at him. Was he that broken? He gave her more in three weeks than Sean had in six months. Could he not see he made her happy? He made her feel things she never had before._

_Things that scared her. Things that excited her._

" Mom! Where are you Mom? " Thomas came running into her room before she had time to put the box away. " There you are, whatcha doing? Whats that? " he pointed to the box.

" This...uh. Its a box " Hanna looked at him like a deer in headlights.

" Well duh, whats inside the box? " Thomas stepped to her & looked down at the picture of Caleb. " Who's that? And why is the picture so blurry? ".

" Its a... Friend. Someone I knew a long time ago ". Thomas opened the box & pulled out a photo this time he could clearly tell who it was.

" This is Caleb, Jamie's son. Mom? Why do you have a photo of Caleb & why are you hugging him? " he looked at her curiously. Hanna smiled, at least he recognized his father.

" Thomas, do you remember all those times when I said you didn't have a daddy? And that your daddy left? ".

" Yeah, we don't need him though. We do just fine don't we? " he said looking at the photo some more. Hanna then realized how much of what she'd told him had sunk in.

" Yeah we do but everyone has a mommy and a daddy, its how we are born ".

" So what are you saying? " Thomas asked reaching for another photo.

" A long time ago Caleb and I were more than just friends, we loved each other more than anything in the world. And because of that we created you, Caleb is your father Thomas " she cupped her hands around his face & kissed his forehead.

" Did you have a fight or something? " he looked up at Hanna.

" Or something, I asked him to go to another town to look after a friend & he ended up staying, he came back one time to see me and that was when I fell pregnant with you ". Hanna waited to see if Thomas had any kind of response, not that he should have though, she just dumped an awful lot of history on her son that he shouldn't even be able to comprehend.

Thomas sat there stunned, looking at the photo of the two of them, he couldn't wrap his mind around something so strange. Caleb & his Mom never spoke, they never saw each other & he was pretty sure she didn't have his number. How were they ever together?

" I don't get it " Thomas looked at Hanna. " You said my Dad left but now you say he never came back ". Thomas looked confused, he put the photo back down & asked to go play with this toys again. Hanna let him go, she probably did confuse him either that or she had told him the wrong way. Even though Thomas had left the room Hanna kept going through all the photos, each time the memories played in her head like they were yesterday.

She was about to put all the photos away when Thomas appeared in her doorway.

" How come he never came back? "

" I don't know, maybe it took longer to care for his friend " Hanna shrugged her shoulders. Thomas walked back to his room but returned minutes later asking another question.

" How come? " He placed his hands on his hips.

" Because I asked him to " she answered. Thomas went back to his room again & Hanna put the photos away, she was surprised when she turned Thomas standing in the doorway again.

" Did Caleb know you were having a baby? " Thomas scratched the back of his head & wondered if they were together and his Mom was pregnant with him, how did Caleb not know? Hanna shook her head as she sat down on her bed patting the spot beside her for Thomas.

" How come? You can't really hide when you're having a baby because you get big and fat & stuff " Thomas looked to Hanna for answers. Admitting to Thomas the reason why he never knew was something she hadn't even admitted to herself.

" I just...I didn't tell him ". Hanna mentally slapped herself, I just didn't? That was the best answer she could come up with! It wasn't far from the truth but stupid none the less. Thomas asked why again, Hanna swore she heard him ask it more than once though like asking it repeatedly would get a more defined answer.

" I was scared baby " Hanna wiped the tear from her cheek, Thomas leaned over and hugged his mother.

" You should have just called Nana Ashley, she isn't scared of anything! " Hanna looked back to Thomas. " Last week she killed this big black spider like it was nothing! " She watched & laughed as Thomas imitated Ashley whacking a spider with a broom.

" Thomas, I just want you to know, whatever happens from here on out I will always love you. No matter what, you got that? " she asked him.

" Ok Mom " he nodded. " I love you too ". Thomas kissed his mother good night & went to bed, shortly after Hanna drank herself two more glasses of wine & eventually cried herself to sleep. She thought about the mess she'd created with one simple lie, she lied to so many people & asked too much of her mother, but most of all she let the only love of her life and the father of her child go. She didn't fight for him nor did she try to find him again she just let him go.

The look in Caleb's eyes the night he appeared on her doorstep was nothing but hurt & anger, the more she thought about it the more it made her cry. She hadn't realized how long or loud she had been crying for until Thomas climbed into bed & gave her a big hug from behind.

" Don't worry Mom, everything's going to be alright. I'm staying right here ". For once Hanna allowed Thomas to sleep in her bed, the only thing she needed right now was her son.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**How terrible of me! This chapter has been sitting here for weeks as I thought I already posted it, I feel terrible. Please accept not one but two chapters as an apology. SORRY.  
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><p>" Under no circumstance, are you to make contact with Hanna Marin or your son. Is that clear Mr Rivers? " Caleb's lawyer Mr Gore, looked over his glasses at him. " Its a precautionary measure I make all my clients take, when there is no contact, there is little room left for disputes. Even the smallest of things can effect either side of a case. I've seen it a million times over especially with custody battles " he closed the manilla folder and stood up buttoning his jacket.<p>

" I understand, I haven't made contact since nor do I intend to " Caleb stood tall & held out his hand, his lawyer reached across & shook his hand.

" You've gone above & beyond what some men would do Mr Rivers ". Caleb wasn't letting a single thing halt the process of him getting access to his son, he had numerous references from friends, family & business colleagues, he'd had a psychological assessment to prove he wasn't mentally unstable, he gathered all his financial statements & had reports from children's services to prove his home was a safe, clean & healthy environment.

" I just want my son, I'm doing what any other father would do " Caleb gave a smile that barely touched the sides of his face.

" Alright then, mediation starts in two weeks " Mr Gore opened his door as Caleb walked past. Moments later while sifting through own folder Caleb shook his head, so much paperwork for one simple thing. He shouldn't have had to do this, Hanna should have told him. Or better yet he should have listened to Jamie & returned to Hanna saying he hit his head but he was all better now - even though he clearly wasn't.

Two simple words could have saved both of them a whole lot of heartache.

Two weeks later Caleb arrived at the Courthouse ready to discuss a custody agreement for Thomas, he had no idea what to expect from Hanna, whether she would agree to his terms or fight him all the way & deny access to his only son, just the thought of arguing over their son made him sick to his stomach. He always thought if he decided to have children they'd be bought into a safe & loving environment with two parents who loved him as much as they loved each other, never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd ever have to put them through this process.

Staring off into the distance Caleb hadn't noticed Hanna walking toward the front steps, she was dressed rather sharp in a ivory knee length skirt, black strappy heels, a tight black business shirt & her hair was straightened & shined ever so bright like a goddess in the sun. She didn't turn his way or even give him a glance, or maybe she didn't see him under the dark sunglasses covering her eyes, she kept her head straight & continued down the corridor where more people sat waiting for mediation.

Caleb sat two benches away from Hanna his foot nervously tapping a rhythm against the marbled floor, he rolled up the sleeves on his dress shirt & stared at the door where their meeting was to be held, he looked to his left and watched as Hanna spoke with someone on her cell.

" Mr Rivers, are you ready? " his appointed mediator stood before him.

" Yes " Caleb stood tall straightening his vest, Hanna quickly put her phone in her bag & walked toward the room, ever still the gentleman Caleb let Hanna enter first, even then Hanna still didn't look at him. Sitting on opposite sides of the table Caleb watched her closely, but not once did she look up at him, at least not until it was time to discuss his terms and conditions.

" Mr Caleb Rivers, could you please state your intentions and or requests regarding custody of Master Thomas Marin, the child you share with Miss Hanna Marin ".

" Yes " he cleared his throat & straightened himself. " Primary physical custody of our son, I wish to remain with his mother, I don't want to interfere with the life he already has here in Philadelphia but... " Hanna looked up & dead-panned Caleb, she couldn't believe he wasn't asking for joint physical custody. She thought it was too good to be true and it was, when he said "but" Hanna's head dropped like she was already defeated. " I request legal custody. I want exclusive time with our son every second weekend, alternating major holidays & summer vacations. I want to be able to attend academic & sporting events & be part of the decision making process for all things regarding our son, like medical, schooling, holidays etcetera ".

" Miss Marin, do you object to Mr Rivers requests? " the mediator looked to her.

" I do " she said loud enough for the entire room to hear. " Object that is ". Hanna looked at the mediator on Caleb's side of the table instead of at him.

" Of course you do " Caleb said under his breath as he rubbed his temple.

" Shh, let her speak Mr Rivers " the mediator cautioned Caleb. " Can you elaborate please? In what way do you object? " he asked.

" I don't object to Mr Rivers seeing our son, more like an alternate arrangement leading up to his request. Due to the strain in the relationship between father & son I request a six month trial period with supervised visitation, therefore allowing time for Thomas to get to know his father before he can have weekend visitation and overnight stays ". Hanna finally lifted her head & saw the look on Caleb's face, he was not happy with her conditions.

" Six months? No. I'm not wasting any more time. I've lost enough already " he spoke directly to her.

" I'm just looking out for my son " she spoke back to him.

" Our son " Caleb corrected her. This was the first time in months they had spoke directly to one another & within minutes they were arguing, clearly they needed permanent mediators.

" I remind you both, this mediation is to discuss the best possible outcome for the child involved, please refrain from all verbally attacking one another " both mediators reminded them.

" Supervised visitation? Really? " Caleb snapped slamming his hand down on the table making Hanna jump in her seat. " Like I'm a criminal or something, can you not trust me to be a good parent because my own did such a poor job? " Caleb spoke to her again only this time she didn't respond.

" Mr Rivers, I wont tell you again " his mediator placed her hand on his arm trying to reign him back in.

" Miss Marin, are you absolutely certain this is what you want and there is no room for negotiation? " the mediator questioned her.

" I want the best for our son, " Hanna emphasized on the word our. " Any emotional suffering he may endure because of this process is one hundred percent on me. My son does not know his father, he may know of him but he doesn't know him, personally. There is a difference, one I would like to explore before handing Thomas over so easily ".

" This is bullshit " Caleb said through gritted teeth. The mediator sitting beside Hanna turned to Caleb & asked if he would agree to Hanna's conditions based on her reasons.

" No, I do not. I've lost six years of time with my son because of her decisions " he pointed at her. " I will not be watched like a monkey in a glass house & wait another six months to be with my son. Its not about who will be the better parent or who gets him the most, I helped create Thomas & I want, no! I deserve quality time with my son. I've seen how nasty proceedings can be, I've seen people at their worst and I do not want that for our son. I want to be the father he should have " Caleb poured his heart out. He wanted to spend the rest of his days getting to know him & make up for the time they'd lost. " Three months. That's it. That's all the supervised visits I'll do. No more " he crossed his arms over his chest & stared at her, she didn't dare look at him again.

" Miss Marin do you agree? " Caleb's mediator asked. Hanna hesitated & turned her back, whispering to the mediator beside her. When she was done she turned back & nodded to the mediator.

" I agree ". Both mediators breathed a sigh of relief, for once they had two people agreeing on custody. They hated when parents couldn't be civil for the sake of their children. For the next hour they discussed weekends, major holidays, & vacation time spent with either parent.

When they finished, everyone in the room stood & shook hands. Caleb reached out & shook Hanna's hand, she looked down at their joined hands & back up at him again. Her heart skipped a beat & he squeezed her hand gently, lingering a second longer than he should have. Hanna quickly retracted her hand, said her goodbye & rushed out the door.

It had been years since she'd felt his touch but nothing had changed, the same spark she felt years ago was the same one she felt just now & it scared the hell out of her. She had to get as far away from him as possible, the click of her heels echoed loudly down the marbled hall. She quickly walked through the lobby & out onto the front steps, the sun was bright but she didn't have time to find her sunglasses, she had to get away. She ran down the stairs and blended into the crowd waiting to cross the road. It wasn't until she was half way across the street that she heard her name being called. She knew whose voice it was but kept walking anyways.

" Hanna! For the love of god stop! " he called out. She was two spaces away from her car when he caught her by the arm & stepped in front of her.

" Didn't you hear me? " he said trying to catch his breath.

" I heard you but please, let me go " she tried wriggling from his grasp.

" No I've done that too many times. Just hear me out " Caleb ignored everything his lawyer said about making contact, he just couldn't let her leave thinking the worst of him. He held her arms tight making it impossible for her to move.

" What else is there to say? You get to see Thomas, its what you wanted. Everyone is happy " she tried to step around him but Caleb moved with her.

" You're not " he said.

" What I want doesn't matter " Hanna looked anywhere but at him.

" Yes it does, you're his mother " Caleb ducked his head trying to get her to look at him but she turned away every time.

" And now he has you as his father " Hanna mumbled.

" Hanna, I need you to believe me, I never wanted it to go down this way. You kept him a secret, from me. My son, Jesus...I mean our son! " Her betrayal cut him deeply. " The whole process just makes me so damn angry, you have to understand you left me no choice ". Hanna acknowledged his statement with a simple nod.

" I know, but you didn't really give me a chance though did you? "she stepped around him & walked toward her car. There was nothing she could say or do that would make their situation any better. She lied to him & she kept their son a secret for six years.

" You had six years to tell me Hanna " Caleb said as she walked away. " I need to see him, I can't just forget he exists ". Hanna turned around wiping her hand across her cheek. She hadn't looked at him much during today's proceedings, if looks could kill she was afraid she wouldn't leave the proceedings alive, the first time she looked at him he he was blank - she couldn't read him like she used to - which was quickly followed by anger.

This time though she saw remorse, a look that should be hers, not his. It was her fault they were here not his, there was only one thing she could say.

" I wouldn't want you to ".


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**Some things need to be said even if it hurts. A lot of things have been left unsaid. And some people are just running scared. These are the important things. Enjoy! There will be more soon! (Uh oh! Just jinxed myself LOL)**

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><p>It was a warm Sunday afternoon when Hanna looked over the roof of her car at his house and laughed. The yard was a mess with overgrown garden beds, untrimmed hedges &amp; a fence that was closer to the ground than it should have been but the house itself was immaculate.<p>

Of course he would care more about the house than the garden bed or lawn, Jamie always reminded her " its whats on the inside that counts " which always left her confused as to whether he was talking about himself or the houses he worked on, either way his passion for restoration impressed Hanna.

As she approached the house butterflies swirled in her stomach, she had no right being here, Jamie could just as well slam the door in her face & tell her to go hell. She had a lot of apologizing to do but she also had an agenda, one that needed to be addressed & only Jamie could help her.

She stepped onto the beautifully wood stained porch & seen a sign hanging from the front door " Out back creating, walk through the gate ". Hanna walked across the porch and down a small side path to an opened gate. She could hear music playing & a power tool buzzing in the distance, carefully she stepped into the wide open yard to find Jamie near the back deck cutting a long thick piece of wood.

Hanna didn't want to startle him from behind, heaven help her if Jamie cut his hand off, she moved around the yard until she was in his view. Jamie started with a smile until he seen who it was. His smile dropped instantly & Hanna knew Jamie was just as mad as Caleb was. Lifting his face shield & unplugging the power tool he brushed the saw dust off his hands with an old rag.

" Hello Jamie " Hanna said politely. " The uh, the sign on your door, it said you were... ".

" I am well aware of what my sign says but what are you doing here Hanna? " Jamie stepped out from his wooden frames and walked toward her. She had never been scared of Jamie before but as he stalked toward her, she was re-thinking why she came to him for help.

Why couldn't she just stalk Caleb on Facebook - if he was even on Facebook - or just stalk him from afar like regular crazy people did?.

" I came to talk " Hanna answered. Yep, this was a stupid idea she thought.

" Talk about what? About how you lied to my son, or how you lied to me? " Jamie's jaw flexed and Hanna knew she'd have to handle this conversation with care if she was going to get what she needed.

" Both " she answered quickly.

" How could you not tell me something like that? That the little boy I'd been spending time with was my grandson, my fucking grandson! " Jamie yelled & waited for any kind of response but Hanna had her head down. He was madder than she thought & he wasn't letting her off so easily.

" If I had of told you, you would've told Caleb & I wasn't ready for that " she answered. It was a poor excuse, but it was all she had.

" Don't answer for me Hanna " Jamie picked up the small pieces of wood lying around the yard and threw them into a metal bin. " You don't know what I would have done. I might have told him or I may not have. You had no right making that decision for me ". Jamie's blood was boiling, the girl he loved like a daughter had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

" Back then, then I went through some personal things & I made some really stupid decisions. Decisions that I obviously didn't think all the way through " she shifted on her feet and tugged at the hem of her shirt.

" It wasn't just a small lie Hanna. How many other people knew? Your entire family? All those guests at Thomas' last party? Huh? How many are laughing behind my back or thinking the worst about our family. Oh the grandpa is around sometimes but the father, yeah he's long gone. How do you think that makes me feel Hanna? To have our family rubbished by strangers ". Jamie picked up a piece of wood & threw it with such force it almost bounced right back out.

" It was just my mother, no one else knew. I promise " Hanna assured him.

" Oh you promise? Because your word means so much doesn't it? ". Jamie was fuming now. " You know Thomas was upset one afternoon about not having a father so I drove to Rosewood & confronted Travis, the man you said was Thomas' father, and you know, he barely remembered who you were! " Jamie yelled.

" I never asked you to do that " Hanna shook her head. Jesus Christ, of all the things he went and confronted him. " That, was none of your business ".

" You had a son with my son! That makes it my business! I went to see Travis to ask why he wasn't being the father he should've been and because I didn't want your son feeling a single ounce of sadness. I'm not sorry for going out on a limb for Thomas " Jamie defended his actions. " As it turns out that was a complete waste of my time anyway because Thomas' father was right under my nose the whole time! ". Jamie stormed inside & grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge slamming the door behind him, he was over being nice.

" What you did... Its unforgivable Hanna " Jamie said as he walked back outside.

" I know " Hanna hung her head in shame.

" You know? " Jamie didn't believe Hanna knew the full extent of the damage she'd caused. She denied Caleb of the things every parent should have the opportunity to experience, like the first time a child kicks his father's hand from inside his mothers stomach or watching their baby being born, first steps and first words - moments that can never be replaced at least not with Thomas.

" Yes, what I did, It was a terrible thing and I shouldn't be forgiven. I should be punished and if thats having you yell at me and tell me how much of a shit mother I am, then do your worst. Its nothing I haven't thought already " Hanna felt the tears running down her cheeks.

" Hanna, I never said you were a bad mother " Jamie said in a much softer tone than he'd been using. He took a step down off his deck & walked toward her but she put her hands up for him to stop.

" Well I am " she shrugged one shoulder and wiped a tear from her cheek. " And you should yell at me, I deserve everything I get. I didn't come here to argue Jamie, I came to apologize. I'm sorry I never told Caleb about being pregnant, I'm sorry I never told you Thomas was your grandson and I'm sorry for every lie I ever told. I'm sorry for never saying the words that I should have said & I'm sorry that I hurt you " Hanna looked up silently pleading for him to accept her apology.

" The things you've done, they can never be replaced. I was there to see Thomas grow up but Caleb, he missed it all ". Jamie picked a sanding block off of the ground & started smoothing over a turned piece of wood as a distraction.

" I understand Jamie, really I do but... " Hanna hesitated. She was throwing herself into the fire, the worst Jamie could do was say no but she'd never know unless she asked. " I need to ask you a favor ". Jamie stopped sanding & deadpanned Hanna.

" Really? You have the hide to ask me something? My god you are...unbelievable " Jamie shook his head and bit down on his lip, Hanna was full of surprises today.

" I need to see Caleb " Hanna blurted out before he could tear even more shreds off her. " I need to give to him some things of Thomas' & I don't know where he lives . The court won't allow that information to be shared so... " Hanna hoped Jamie would tell her where he lived, if not she'd have to wait until supervised visitation starts or pass the items onto his lawyer.

" Things? Like what? " Jamie began sanding the piece of wood again.

" Memories of Thomas he should have. I saved all of them & made copies, I know its not much but I want him to have them. He deserves to have them ". Jamie hesitated & Hanna wondered if Jamie would offer to pass them on for her, maybe Caleb didn't want Hanna knowing where he lived even though he knew where she lived. " Or maybe...you could pass them on? " Hanna suggested. And there was the answer he needed.

" No, if you want to give them to him then you can give them to him, face to face " Jamie walked inside his house & searched the kitchen drawers for a pen & paper. He scribbled down Caleb's address & walked back outside to give the note to Hanna, before he handed the small piece of paper over he retracted his hand.

" We're all going to need a little time to get past what you've done " Jamie handed her the note.

" I understand " she nodded taking the small note in her hand, Hanna didn't bother apologizing again. Jamie made it quite clear, she was not welcomed in his house.

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><p>Hanna pulled to the curb a few doors down from Caleb's house, she sat inside her car wondering if he was home or if he was entertaining. The drop off would be so much easier if he had guests to return to, but this was Caleb and nothing was ever going to be easy. She stepped out of her car &amp; grabbed the black box off the back seat tucking it under her arm,willing herself to get this over &amp; done with.<p>

Rasping her knuckles against the dark wooden door Hanna waited, she could hear classic seventies rock coming from inside the house. Fearing he didn't hear her Hanna went to knock on the door again but it flew open and a shirtless sweaty saw dust covered Caleb in torn jeans & a faded baseball cap on backwards appeared drinking a bottle of water.

Caleb cupped a hand over his eyes as the the bright sun was blocking his view.

" Hanna? " his face dropped. " What are you doing here? " he looked her up & down.

" I uh... " she watched the line of water drip down his chest, never had a view been so distracting. " I umm..." Hanna failed to put a full sentence together. Caleb stepped back inside returning moments later with a shirt on.

" Hanna, what are you doing at my house? We're not suppose to have contact " Caleb closed the front door behind him.

" I wouldn't have come if it wasn't important " Hanna tightened her grip on the box.

" Whats in the box? " he pointed.

" Huh? " Hanna looked confused, a shirtless Caleb had scrambled her brain. She was meant to be past this stage but apparently his old tricks still worked.

" The box you're holding, is that the reason why you're here? ". Hanna looked down at the box and then back to Caleb & nodded.

" Yes, I have some things that I think belong to you as much as they belong to me. It wont be long before you'll have your visitations with Thomas ". Caleb shifted & cleared his throat, he hated that in order to see his son he had to lawyer up & go through the system. " This might help you get to know him a little better before then ". Hanna offered the box to Caleb, he accepted & opened the box. Inside was a photo of Thomas wrapped in a beautiful little blanket looking as perfect as he thought he would have been.

" Jesus Hanna " Caleb looked at her & then back to the photo again, lifting the image from the box he just stared at it. This was his son when he was just a few days old, he was so small and delicate. Hanna took a step back as Caleb sat down on the old rickety park bench, he placed the box between his feet & looked at the next photo in the box, it was Thomas a little older pushing himself up on his arms with a huge smile on his face. If he had to guess, Thomas was starting to crawl.

" Why would you give me this? Why now? " Caleb looked to Hanna with a sadness in his eyes, he missed so much of his little boy growing up because he was battling his own demons.

" Because he's yours too, not just mine " Hanna crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the house next door. This exchange was not going as quickly as she had hoped, he was asking too many questions.

" Why didn't you ever tell me? " he asked the same question everyone else had.

" I didn't want you to suffocate, we ended what we had & I didn't want you coming back and staying just because I was pregnant ". Hanna had seen how miserable couples became when they stayed for the sake of a baby and not the happiness of the family.

" You had no right making that choice for me ".

" Jamie said the exact same thing " she laughed just once. Caleb shook his head, so that's how she found out where he lived. " I'm sorry Caleb..." Her eyes filled with tears the moment she looked at him & apologized. " I'm sorry for all the things I've ever done, I_ never_ meant to hurt you ". Hanna had never apologized for any of her actions until now.

" It wasn't entirely your fault " Caleb's jaw tightened, he never discussed to anyone other than his father why he hadn't returned to Rosewood. " I was messed up too, I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself ". Unable to keep her emotions intact Hanna covered her face with her hands & burst into tears, the floodgates had opened.

No one had ever asked about Caleb's wrong doing in all of this, they had just assumed Hanna was the bad guy. Having Caleb accept part responsibility was a gesture she had not expected.

Caleb looked at Hanna & knew she'd been waiting almost seven years to hear five simple words. He couldn't imagine how hard it must have been to raise a child on her own & manage a career at the same time. He took a step forward & placed a hand around her wrist but Hanna moved back & put her hands up in defense.

" I have to go " she started walking backwards. One moment of truth & she had crumbled, a moment alone with Caleb was too much. Being anywhere near him was too much.

" Don't go " Caleb reached out for her but she was already running back to her car. Caleb chased after her but she'd already put the car between the both of them.

" Of all the things I ever took from you, this was the only thing I could replace. Everything inside of that box, is yours. I won't contact you again, you have my word " her tears kept falling as she got into her car & quickly drove away.

" Stop running " he called out as he ran into the street but it was already too late, she was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm really trying to keep these updated regularly, all I can do is try.**

**So here's a short one just to get things moving.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

Black shirt. Blue shirt. Grey shirt. Green shirt. Red shirt. White shirt.

Caleb pulled every shirt from his wardrobe & placed it over his body as he stood in front of the mirror. They all looked decent enough but he simply couldn't decide.

He'd gone to the barber shop the day before so he'd at least look respectable, he was clean shaven & had his favorite dark colored jeans on. Today had to be perfect, everything had to be right, today was the day he finally got his wish. It may not have been the way he wanted it but still, he was spending time with his son without his mother playing guard.

Caleb was more than ready to bring Thomas home, his house was complete other than the spare bedroom and the backyard which was another task & a half, he'd completely changed his house to make room for his son like any decent father would.

Caleb finally chose a white tee shirt & finished getting dressed, he had a long drive ahead of him but he didn't care, he'd drive all day if it meant he got to see his son. He arrived half an hour early & was asked to wait in the reception area while they collected all the necessary paperwork. Caleb's knee bounced in anticipation, now that he'd arrived it seemed time had slowed down. He watched the hands on the clock slowly tick by, minute by minute, second by second. He felt like time had stood still, that was until a voice pulled him back to reality.

" Mr Rivers, do you have your court order? " the receptionist asked. Caleb stood quickly & pulled them from his back pocket, there was no way he would risk having his visit cancelled on a minor technicality.

" Yes " he handed them under the window.

" Great, just sign here, here & here & initial the last page & we'll be on our way " the receptionist handed him a pen. Ten minutes later Caleb was lead down a narrow hallway & into a room where Thomas was sitting at a small table coloring in what looked like Bumblebee from the Transformers movie.

" Hi, I'm Evelyn, I'll be your supervisor today " a social worker stood & introduced herself. Caleb heard every word she said but his focus was one hundred percent on his son - the most beautiful long haired child he'd ever seen.

" Caleb! " Thomas said excitedly as he looked up from his drawing. " You're finally here " he stood up pushing his chair over in the process, he made a run for Caleb & wrapped his arms around his waist.

" Hey " Caleb said softly. He wasn't expecting Thomas to greet him with such open arms, he looked down & wove his fingers through his hair pulling him even closer. He couldn't believe it, his son was holding onto him like he loved him already.

" So you're my Dad huh? " Thomas looked up to Caleb.

" I guess I am " he nodded. " I'm glad I get to spend time with you today ".

" Me too, come 'ere " Thomas dragged Caleb toward the table. " Look at what I'm coloring in, its Bumblebee from Transformers. He's the coolest ".

" Is that so? " Caleb looked to Thomas and then to the social worker who shrugged her shoulders, Caleb laughed. She probably didn't even know who the Transformers were.

Caleb watched Thomas color in and was surprised he knew not to color outside the lines, when he was all done he wrote his name at the bottom & handed it to Caleb.

" You can keep that one ". Caleb looked at Thomas, to the picture & then back to Thomas again.

" Can I take it home & put it on my fridge? " Caleb asked.

" Sure, our fridge at home is covered in them ". And there was that feeling again. Caleb tried his best to hide it but all he could picture was Hanna's fridge covered in pictures done by Thomas, it was just another reminder of all the things he'd missed. Thomas moved across the room & started searching through the toy box, Caleb was still looking at the picture when the social worker stood beside him and spoke softly.

" You're doing just fine, kids tend to throw curve balls. Just brush it off & keep moving forward " she patted his arm. Caleb hadn't covered his disappointment as well as he thought.

" That obvious? " Caleb rubbed his face, he hated being anyone's monkey, he hated being here but he wanted to see Thomas more than anything in the world.

" Its perfectly normal, don't worry so much. Don't let him lead the whole day, show him you're interested too, grab a game, a book, a movie anything " she waved her hand about the room. Caleb started walking toward an open cupboard & pulled out a game of Connect Four, he shook the box & looked back at Thomas.

" You ever play? " He asked.

" Yeah, all the time. Mum_ always_ loses when we play " he laughed and walked toward Caleb taking the game from his hands and placing it on the floor below. Thomas sorted the colored coins giving Caleb his & made the first move by slotting his coin down the hole. Caleb slipped his coin through as well and analyzed Thomas next move, he was surprised that in three moves Thomas had already set his coins in a straight line. Caleb continued to slip his coins into the hole & watched as Thomas beat him in one simple move.

" I win! " Thomas hollered and laughed. " Told you I'm good " he kept laughing, Caleb couldn't get enough of his innocent little laugh.

" We'll see " Caleb flipped the game & started again. For the next half an hour they played again & again, Caleb won some but Thomas won most of the games, each & every time he rubbed it in Caleb's face. The rest of the afternoon they read books, play cards & even got a little crafty, Caleb hated doing arts & crafts but for his son he'd play with all the glitter, glue, and colored paper he could.

Caleb loved spending the day with Thomas but when it was time to go, he didn't want to leave. Even though he was only saying goodbye, he missed him already. Caleb got down on one knee and smiled at Thomas.

" Goodbye Caleb " Thomas said as he wrapped his arms around his neck. Caleb hugged him tight & whispered into his ear.

" I miss you already ".

" Will I see you next week? " Thomas pulled back and looked into his fathers eyes.

" The week after, every two weeks for now " Caleb replied, he looked at his sweet brown eyes and was certain he was looking at himself as a child.

" Aww, that long? " he whined.

" It'll go faster than you think " Caleb said as he let Thomas go, the social worker was standing at the door offering Thomas her hand. Thomas walked toward her but kept his eyes on Caleb until he left the room.

Caleb had never felt so bad about letting someone go, he really didn't want this day to end, it was as perfect as he could of imagined. Even Thomas, he was such a beautiful child, kind, sympathetic and loving, just like his mother. Moments later the social worker had returned to the room, Caleb was so lost within himself he hadn't even heard her come into the room.

" The first ones are always the hardest " she put her hand on his shoulder.

" Can I just have a minute? " Caleb stood with his back to her, his hands on his hips & his head down. She nodded and stepped out of the room. Caleb took a minute to look around the room and remember the day he had with Thomas, it was simple but special & he'd never forget it.

Caleb stepped out into the hall where the social worker was waiting, she turned around & gave him a sympathetic smile.

" Only five more visitations... " the social worker smiled. Five more fortnights before they returned to the courts and hopefully allow Caleb to take Thomas home.

Caleb couldn't wait for that day to come.


	12. Chapter 12

**So here is the follow up chapter, its a bit longer than the last one & for anyone wanting to know IF Hanna & Caleb will be together, the last 4 words of this chapter is your answer. Only 8 chapters more & you'll finally know...**

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 12<strong>

" Mom? " Thomas unbuckled his seat belt & touched Hanna's shoulder. " Can we go now? Its been forever ".

The day had finally come, Caleb was getting Thomas for the entire weekend.

Their supervised visits had gone well, The Department of Children's Services couldn't have given Caleb a better recommendation. When they returned to the courts, Hanna willfully signed a permanent custody agreement with one condition, Caleb was overjoyed he was getting Thomas all to himself that he didn't care what her condition was.

Hanna held the steering wheel like her life depended on it, their life had changed so quickly & she barely had time to process it all. Thomas was beginning overnight stays with his father which meant Hanna would be seeing Caleb twice a month instead of never again, it wasn't something she was comfortable with just yet.

When ever he was near, he asked the questions she didn't have answers to, his determination to be with Thomas scared her but most of all being alone with him scared her. Looking back on their relationship Hanna realized how in love they had been, they would've went to jail for each other, they lied for and to one another, they meddled in each others family business and no one could break what they had - Jenna & -A took a pretty good shot but when the smoke had cleared, Hanna & Caleb were stronger than ever.

At least until he left for Ravenswood...then everything they fought so hard for simply fell apart.

" Mom! Come on! " Thomas yelled.

" I'm just going to miss you so much baby " Hanna looked in her rear view.

" I'm only going for the weekend AND I'll be back on Sunday " Thomas leaned between the seats.

" I know but two days will seem like forever " Hanna pouted.

" What do Moms do when they don't have kids? " Thomas asked.

" Beats the hell out of me kiddo, I work or I have you and since I cant go into work I have no idea what I'm going to do! " Hanna shrugged her shoulders. " Maybe I can clean out your toy box? " Hanna teased him.

" Don't you dare touch my Captain America! Or my Turtles! Or my Lego! Just stay out of my room, ok? Its a no Mom zone until I get back. I've done inbentory I know whats there " Thomas pointed in her face, Hanna pushed his finger out of her face.

" You've done what? " she asked him.

" Inbentory, you. Know like counting what you have, I listen to your calls all the time. I also asked Nana Ashley. She told me everything " Thomas was so confident in himself.

" Everything huh? " Hanna stepped out of her car.

" Everything! " Thomas jumped out of the car flying his toy plane in the air, Hanna grabbed his bag off the back seat & started walking toward the large double doors that was Children's Services.

" Caleb! " Thomas called out as Caleb walked toward them from the opposite direction. Thomas ran to his father & wrapped his arms around his waist, Caleb hugged him with one hand and waved to Hanna with the other. Hanna gave a quick smile but ducked her head & walked inside the building as Thomas & Caleb trailed behind.

" You ready? " Caleb asked Thomas.

" Oh yeah! So ready! It's my first big sleep over. Mom is freaking out ". Caleb smiled at the comment, his mind could run wild wondering what specifically she was freaking out about. Seeing him more often? Thomas finally seeing his father? Spending time with Jamie? Being two hours away? All the things Thomas might tell Caleb by accident?. " She said she's going to clean out my toy box, I said my room is a no Mom zone until I get back ".

" Well its understandable, you've been her guy for a while and now she has to share. As for the toys, that's kinda what Moms do right? ". Thomas shrugged his shoulders and went to sit next to Hanna as Caleb signed in at the reception desk. With no where else to sit Caleb sat beside Thomas, he lent forward to look at Hanna & asked how she was. Hanna responded with two words he'd heard before which told him everything she wasn't.

" I'm fine ". The room was quiet, why couldn't there be a flute solo playing? Hanna thought to herself. " How are you? " she said after clearing her throat.

" Nervous. And excited ". Hanna nodded and checked her watch for the fifth time since she sat down. The Parenting Co-Ordinator called all of them into a small room & discussed what time Caleb had to have Thomas returned by, what time Hanna was due to pick Thomas up, what to do if you can not make that time or if you need to return sooner than expected, what to do in an emergency, what numbers to call, an exchange of phone numbers & son on. Fifteen minutes later Hanna was saying goodbye to Thomas, she hugged & kissed him repeatedly, Caleb turned his back so Hanna could have the privacy she deserved.

" Ok, I'm ready " Thomas grabbed Caleb's hand while Hanna handed over his bag, Caleb looked down as their hands connected & back to her again but she wore no expression. Caleb & Thomas left first and Hanna followed behind them.

" I think the two of you will co-parent just fine " the parenting co-ordinator said from behind.

" I hope so " Hanna answered. Just as they'd walked out the doors Thomas turned around & waved goodbye to Hanna.

" Bye Mom, I love you ".

" Love you too baby " Hanna waved before quickly walking to her car. Once inside she clasped one hand over her mouth and fought hard to not let her emotions get the better of her, but when she turned her head & seen Thomas holding Caleb's hand as they walked away she started sobbing uncontrollably.

" Oh Jesus " she whispered to herself. She let her head fall to the steering wheel, the image of her son walking hand in hand with his father was another thing she hadn't anticipated, she was losing count of the things that were emotionally breaking her down.

On the drive home Hanna wondered how had she let things get this far? She kept asking herself why did she never tell him? Why did she never tell the love of her life that they had a son together? She could have had it all, the perfect son, the great love of her life & the job of her dreams. They could have proven everyone wrong.

When Hanna arrived home she drew herself a bath, poured a rather large glass of wine, collected the latest trashy magazine from the counter & went to soak peacefully while being surrounded by scented candles. She kept looking at the door waiting for Thomas to come in & ask her something ridiculous like he always did but he never came.

The house was quiet, a little too quiet. Hanna was not liking this one little bit.

Half an hour later - dressed in her baggy sweats - Hanna ordered take away. While she waited for the order to be delivered she opened the door to Thomas' room, she missed him terribly & hated not having him near. The fact she couldn't call & see how he was bothered her even more, he was with his father. Another word that was foreign to her. It had always just been Hanna & Thomas, never Thomas & his father or Thomas & his parents.

There were too many things lately that Hanna had to bury her feelings about, Thomas spending time with his father, seeing Caleb more often, the way she was made to feel about the choices she'd made, the way Jamie spoke to her, listening to Thomas talk about Caleb like he was the best thing on the planet - she couldn't blame him for the way he felt but still, she didn't want to hear about how great he was considering she was just as great a parent as he was.

Hanna walked into Thomas' room and sat down on his bed, running her hand across his comforter she wished she was tucking him into bed & kissing his forehead, things that she had done almost every single night for the past six years, not doing them now made her feel like she'd lost something.

A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts. She generously tipped the delivery man kicking the door closed behind her & went to the kitchen to retrieve what was left of her wine.

Hanna settled in for a night of bad food & just as bad movie choices, it was just after midnight and when Hanna dragged herself to bed. Stripping down to her black lace panties & matching camisole Hanna crawled into bed & wrapped her thick duvet around her & hoped for sleep.

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><p>An hour later she was still staring at the roof.<p>

She started to think that in some cruel way her mind was punishing her for all the terrible things she'd done to Caleb, for the next forty eight hours she was going to drown in her own misery. Nothing would be right again until Thomas was back in her arms.

She reached over turning on her lamp on & threw the covers back, she was finally giving in. She walked into her wardrobe & looked up at the box she'd taped down earlier that year. She swore to never open that box again but in her sleep deprived state she needed to do something and with no one home to see what she was looking through what did she have to hide?

She pulled the box down dropping it at her feet. She tore the tape off & pulled out a handful of photos & returned to her bed.

The first photo she looked at made her laugh, to anyone else the photo was just a dark photo with no content but to her it was a happy memory, the only thing visible were her eyes & his lips. It was the second last lesson of the day, Hanna had requested a bathroom break but on her way to the bathroom she was pulled inside the janitors cupboard. Caleb kicked the bucket into the corner & Hanna whispered his name loudly, Caleb covered her mouth with his lips & pulled her toward him.

_" We're going to get caught Caleb! " she whispered loudly._

_" Only if you keep talking " Caleb whispered back._

_" Why are you in the janitors cupboard anyway? " she looked around the darkened room._

_" I was skipping Mr Harris' class when I seen you coming. You're always telling me to be spontaneous so here we are "._

_" I love that you're doing this but I really need to get back to class, Mrs Montgomery is going to send someone to come find me if I don't return soon "._

_" When did you become such a brown noser Hanna? " Caleb pressed his body up against hers._

_" Never, come 'ere " she tucked her hand into his hair & pulled him closer, their lips crashed & Hanna put her hand under his shirt taking much pleasure when his muscles contracted inward with her touch. Caleb put his hands under her bottom & started to lift her off the ground._

_" I need to go back " Hanna pushed Caleb against the wall & put some space between them. " But before I do..." Hanna pulled her phone out of her top. " I want to remember this " Hanna quickly took a photo but Caleb was already kissing her neck, he tried hiding behind his hair but Hanna was too quick._

_" I'll wait for you in the parking lot? " Caleb asked._

_" You better " Hanna kissed him long & hard before leaving the closet._

* * *

><p>" Hanna, You here? " Ashley called out. Hanna sprung up out of bed knocking half the photos onto the floor below.<p>

" Shit! " she swore to herself.

" Everything okay Hanna? " Ashley started walking down the hall, Hanna could hear her heels clicking against the floor boards. With her mother walking down the hall she couldn't possibly stuff all the photos back into the box in time.

" I'll be right out Mom " Hanna panicked & stuffed the photos under her duvet, and then panicked again because the box was still on the floor in her walk in closet. She quickly threw it back on top of the shelf & made it to the door just as Ashley was beginning to open it.

" Whats with all the food? Enjoying your freedom? " she hooked her thumb over her shoulder toward the lounge room.

" Freedom blows! I want my son back. Without him, I'm just Hefty Hanna " Hanna stormed down the hall & into the kitchen. Ashley couldn't help but laugh. The image of Hanna binging on the couch reminded her of the days when Hanna used to fight with Caleb & her friends.

She would lounge about in her velour sweat pants while listening to depressing songs & pretending to sleep until either she left the house or one of her friends or Caleb came to apologize.

" Now you're just being dramatic. You haven't been her for years. How about I put a pot of coffee on while you go make yourself look decent & we'll have a girls day out, my treat?! ". Ashley put her hands on Hanna's shoulders & shuffled her down the hallway. She wasn't taking no for an answer.

Several hours later after shopping till they dropped & a light lunch, Hanna found herself half naked lying face down waiting for their masseuse to enter the room.

" Mom? " Hanna whispered her name.

" Uh huh... " a dreamy Ashley responded.

" Never mind " Hanna hesitated. She knew what was bothering her she just didn't want to admit it, it would be so much easier if her mother could just read her mind & tell her what she needed to hear with her having to say the words out loud.

Hanna put her head down and stared at the floor again, but she couldn't relax. She kept thinking about Thomas and every time she thought about Thomas she immediately thought about Caleb. She changed her train of thought and tried her best to think about work but it didn't last long. She sighed out loud tossing and turning on the rubber table, Ashley finally sat up pulling the towel around her body she looked at Hanna, watching as she fidgeted & sighed over & over again.

" What is it? , Ashley said loud enough for Hanna to pop her head out of the hole in the table.

" Huh? " Hanna craned her neck to look at her mother, she was not happy.

" Say what ever it is that's bothering you or so help me god Hanna! I will not have my Saturday relaxation time interrupted by your sighing and moving about now speak up " she glared at Hanna.

" Fine " Hanna sat up and bit the corner of her lip.

" Don't do that " Ashley pointed to Hanna's lips. " You're a big girl now ".

" Its... " Hanna closed her eyes and looked at the floor. She didn't want to openly admit how much he still affected her, the good and the bad. He was back in her life & this time he wasn't leaving, he had more than just her to come back to. He had a son & he was dead set on being the best father he could be. She didn't hate him for that, she hated all the history that came with them. What they had wasn't a fling nor puppy love, it was the real deal. It was the kind of love that had you begging for more and made it damn near impossible to walk away from. " Caleb ".

" I figured it would have been him " Ashley smiled.

" I have to see him every two weeks, and when ever I see him & Thomas together, I'm always upset. I don't want to be upset every two weeks, I want to be happy. We've moved on so why do I still get so worked up when I see him? Did you feel like this with Dad? " Hanna tightened the towel around her chest and looked up at Ashley.

" Its perfectly normal Hanna, there's an adjustment period that comes with custody agreements. There will be feelings of love, happiness, sadness, anger, resentment, hurt, hate, worry and so on. It comes with the territory ".

" When does it go away? Or how long does it take for those feelings to go away? ".

" Depends on how long it takes for you to find peace with what ever your issue is. Your child is not only yours, they belong to someone else too. And they have a right to see them too. You just have to find your own way of dealing with all of those feelings, go for a run, have a massage, hit a punching bag, throw some plates, talk to someone or hell, have a tantrum. You will find a way to deal with those feelings, I promise " Ashley smiled.

" How long did it take with you & Dad? " Hanna asked.

" About six months, I hated when you went to your fathers. Not only would you come back in a mood but I hated knowing Isabella was trying to be your second mother. That was the hardest thing, knowing someone was trying to take my place and I was scared she would be better than I was ".

" She has nothing on you Mom, you are a million times more beautiful & have way more class than their entire family put together ". Ashley laughed out loud.

" Thank you Hanna, you have such a way with words ".

" What made you find peace? " She asked.

" I just decided to finally put you & I first, I did what I wanted to do and started to stand on my own two feet. And that's when I found happiness " Ashley nodded and laid back down on the bed just as two male masseuses entered the room.

" Are we nice & relaxed ladies? ".

" Oh we will be..." Ashley replied. " Just give it time ".


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey, another update. Just so you know, the last part of this chapter means NOTHING & NOTHING will come of it, I promise. Its just a thing. I also tried to give you a scene, its probably not what you want but I'm not there yet. I'm building to something & a lot of things need to be addressed before we can go there. New foundations need to be laid, that's all I'll say. I hope this is acceptable. :)  
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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Thomas' seventh birthday was coming around fast, so much had changed in the past year but Thomas had remained the same, was still the smart & sweet little boy Hanna had raised. He wasn't resentful or hateful, he just accepted their situation for what it was & moved on.

Just like his father.

The more time Thomas spent with Caleb, the more he was becoming just like him, which bought Hanna to her next thought. She had been so busy with work & organizing her son's birthday party, she forgot to give Caleb his invitation - but that wasn't the only complication, Thomas's birthday party fell on Hanna's weekend which meant she would have to invite Caleb into her home & spend an entire afternoon with him.

A few minutes with Caleb was long enough let alone a couple of hours, she wasn't sure if this was a good idea but she'd made a promise not to exclude Caleb from anything else, and one thing she never did was break her promises to Caleb.

" Kennedy! Where the hell are the sales report from last month? " Hanna rummaged through the papers on her desk. " I swear I put them on your desk this morning ".

" Well they are most certainly not on my desk, see how clean and organized my desk is compared to yours " Kennedy ran her hands along the edge of her desk with pride.

" Now is not the time to start about my mess. My life is a mess. My job is a mess ".

" You're sex life is a mess " Kennedy teased.

" Oh for the love of god where are those reports! " Hanna grabbed a pile of books off of her desk and threw them on the floor behind her.

" Chill Hanna, let me help " Kennedy rounded her desk & started to walk toward Hanna when her phone rang.

" Hanna Marin speaking " she answered quickly.

" Where are those reports? We've been waiting ten minutes ". Mr Westwood said furiously. " You're holding up our meeting ".

" Coming right away Mr Westwood " Hanna answered. She hung up the phone & and pulled at her hair. " Fuck! " she pleaded with Kennedy to help her. " I'm going to get fired " Hanna over exaggerated.

" Here " said Kennedy pulling the report from underneath a pile of fabric samples. " Why do you even have these? " she asked.

" Finally! " Hanna snatched the report from her hand. " Because I do " Hanna reached under her desk & slipped her feet inside her heels. " Now I've got to run three floors " Hanna rushed out the door. Kennedy stuck her head out into the hall & yelled " We have these things called lifts, maybe you should try one? ".

" No time " Hanna rushed into the stair well. When she was seconds away from the meeting room she straightened her clothes & brushed her hair back trying her best to look composed. She rapped her knuckles against the glass door & smiled at Mr Westwood. He walked over to the door & snatched the reports from her.

" Don't ever let this happen again " he turned his back & started speaking to those in the meeting room. Hanna turned around and walked toward the lifts, when she finally got back downstairs she pushed open the door of the office she shared with Kennedy & slipped off her high heels.

" I am never getting a promotion. If Mr Westwood didn't hate me before, he certainly does now " Hanna threw herself at the small couch by the door.

" Mr Westwood is an insecure prick who treats his staff like shit, nobody likes him Hanna and you shouldn't be any different " Kennedy came to sit beside Hanna & grabbed her hand. " You need to chill Han, you've worked so hard lately. When was the last time you had a night off? ".

" I don't get nights off remember? I'm a Mom " she rolled her eyes.

" And a hot one at that. When does Thomas go to his fathers next? " Kennedy squeezed her hand.

" This weekend. Why? " Hanna looked at her & retracted her hand. " Oh no... No no no no no " she wagged her finger & slid away from Kennedy.

" Yes Ma'am, we are going out! And I mean the drinking & dancing kind of night out " Kennedy beamed at the thought her & Hanna painting the town.

" I have nothing to wear " Hanna answered immediately. Kennedy saw right through her excuse and wouldn't take no for an answer.

" Bull shit. I've seen your wardrobe Hanna, its fabulous. What ever you wear, all the guys will be drooling. But seriously, don't wear the Mom pants, I've seen you lot. You're disgusting " she scrunched her nose at the thought of Hanna wearing pants.

" Now you're being ridiculous, you're the one who'll have guys lining up to buy you a drink ". Kennedy laughed and lent toward Hanna.

" If they're buying & they're cute, I'll give them a moment of my time ".

" I cant do that " Hanna stood up & protested.

" Hanna " Kennedy stood & matched her stance. " What did you do the first night you didn't have Thomas? ". Hanna turned her head and mumbled.

" I uh.. I ate bad food & watched bad movies ".

" Whats that? " Kennedy asked her to repeat herself.

" I did the Mom thing, ate my feelings & stayed inside " she repeated.

" Exactly! We're going out & you will forget about being someone's Mom. This weekend, you will be Hanna who-needs-to-loosen-up " Kennedy double tapped Hanna's shoulder & smiled. Kennedy walked over to her desk & finished her work quietly, Hanna was sure she was planning their night out not working. Hanna finally returned to her desk as well but kept looking up at Kennedy, she knew when the time came, Kennedy was the one who was going to get a promotion. She didn't take crap from anyone, was level headed & was born a leader.

Hanna was certain she didn't have any of those qualities.

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><p>Later that afternoon Hanna arrived at Children's Services but was surprised when the parent co-ordinator took her aside and notified her their case had been reviewed &amp; a decision had been made. They - the service providers - felt Hanna &amp; Caleb no longer needed a mediator to pick up &amp; drop off Thomas, they agreed both parents had been completely civil toward one another and could move forward in arranging their own meeting time &amp; place to exchange care of Thomas.<p>

" Oh...I was not expecting that " Hanna looked shocked, deep down she knew this day would come only she hoped for more time. Having to arrange a meeting time & place meant there was no longer a buffer between the two, they were completely on their own.

" This weekend will be the last day in which you will be able to use our service, we thank you for making our job as easy as possible. You & Caleb should be proud of your efforts, this custody agreement was successful because you put your child first, not yourselves ". Hanna was at a lost for words, all she ever wanted was the best for her son - their son, she mentally corrected herself - she had to stop referring to him as just hers.

When Caleb finally arrived Thomas threw himself into his fathers arms, he swung him around & hugged him tight, - it was their greeting of late - Hanna knew they missed each other equally. The way both their faces lit up, it spoke volumes about how much love they had for one another. After speaking to the co-ordinator Caleb came up behind Hanna.

" So, I guess we're on our own now? " he shrugged his shoulders & gave a weak smile.

" I guess so. Can we talk another time about where & when? " Hanna asked.

" Sure.…I'll see you on Sunday? " he reached for Thomas' bag.

" About that, can I have a word? " Hanna reached for his arm. Caleb looked down at her hand & made eye contact again. Throughout this whole custody agreement they had only touched once. This though, was new. It felt sincere.

Caleb was over thinking such a small gesture.

" So as you know next weekend is Thomas' seventh birthday and...its my weekend to have him ". Caleb's face dropped & she could see the disappointment immediately.

" Shit! I'm such a bad father, I totally forgot " he rubbed his hands over his face. " I've been running around trying to figure out what we're doing this weekend that it slipped my mind. I'm so bad at this ".

" No you're not, I am. I forgot to give you the invitation to his birthday party the last time you had him. Anyway, its at the house and there's going to be heaps of kids there & other parents, I know Thomas would want you there, you should come " Hanna smiled.

" What about you though? I don't want you to be uncomfortable, its your house & your weekend " Caleb bit his lip. He wanted to be there so badly but he didn't want to step on Hanna's toes on the process.

" Its not about me, its about Thomas ". Hanna handed Caleb the invitation, he slowly took it from her hand & confirmed his attendance without even looking at the invitation. He didn't need to think twice, this was his sons birthday and he wasn't going to miss it for the world. " Jamie is welcome too " Hanna added another guest.

Caleb smiled & grabbed Thomas' hand. Hanna said her goodbye & walked off waving to Thomas until she couldn't see him any more. When Caleb finally arrived at his truck he made sure Thomas was all strapped in before rounding the front of his car. He looked over the hood of his truck & watched Hanna get into her car & drive away, he smiled to himself.

Not only was he getting to see Thomas this weekend, but he would see the both of them for three consecutive weekends.

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><p>Sitting across from the bar Hanna &amp; Kennedy sipped their cocktails.<p>

" You look so hot Hanna, definitely not looking like a Momma " she looked at her outfit once again. Hanna had gone simple but stylish with a short black skirt, turquoise colored top with matching strappy high heels, her hair was curled & pulled over one shoulder, Kennedy kept telling her she was definitely going to get laid looking the way she did.

Hanna however was not there to get laid, she was there to wind down, have fun & let loose for once, but not too much. She didn't want to go home with a stranger nor did she want to take one home. She was there purely for a girls night out.

" Twelve o'clock, tall, dark handsome undressing you " Kennedy teased, Hanna looked over her shoulder to find Mr-Tall-Dark-and-Handsome doing exactly what she said he was. Hanna smiled and turned back around shaking her head at Kennedy.

" We haven't even been here half an hour & we're being eyed off " Hanna sipped on her cocktail.

" Thats because you're the hottest woman in here Hanna " Kennedy laughed. " We need more drinks and we need to dance before our feet start getting sore " Kennedy grabbed Hanna's hand dragging her toward the bar for more drinks. " Ty " Kennedy waved to the bar tender " A drink for the hottest woman in here and a dirty martini ". Ty leaned over the bar & scanned Hanna from head to toe, he looked at her legs again & bit down on his bottom lip, he liked what he was seeing.

" She's cute " he smiled, Hanna was embarrassed. " On the house " he placed a drink in front of her. " And one for the hottest woman in here " he winked placing a drink in front of Kennedy.

" Oh you're cheeky " Kennedy laughed & gave him a large tip.

" Friend of yours? " Hanna asked as they made their way back to the table.

" Not really, we had sex a couple of times. Just for fun " Kennedy shrugged like it was no big deal, she was confident, sexy & could take home any man home she wanted.

" And you're still friends? " Hanna was curious, the only person she'd ever had sex with ruined her for life.

" Of course we are, its just sex. And he's actually a pretty cool guy, he has this great apartment filled with works of art, he's very talented " Kennedy mentally held Ty on a pedestal.

" So why bust it out in a place like this? " Hanna pointed the room around her. If he was as talented as Kennedy said he was, why wasn't he selling his art works & being an established artist instead of a bar tender?

" The money, he gets great tips because he is real friendly with the ladies " she smiled mischievously.

" You mean he sleeps with the clientele? " Hanna corrected Kennedy.

" No, not always. He can sleep with who ever he wants when he clocks off, if it happens to be someone here at the bar then so be it. Look Hanna, " Kennedy placed her hand on Hanna's shoulder. " Stop looking at the details. He's an artist who happens to be good with the ladies & makes some pretty mean cocktails to pay the rent. That's all there is to it ok? " Kennedy downed her drink & slammed the glass down on the table. " Drink up Hanna, we've got dancing to do. Mr-Tall-Dark-And-Handsome wont wait all night ". Hanna drank her cocktail quickly & made her way to the dance floor.

Once she joined Kennedy time seemed to fly by, she wasn't sure how long they'd been dancing but one thing she knew for sure, all those drinks Mr-Tall-Dark-And-Handsome had bought her were definitely going to her head. With every move she made, the room spun faster & faster. Hanna could feel his hands all over her, touching her arms, her neck, her back, her waist & even her legs. He kept lifting her skirt higher & higher trying to reach what he assumed was paradise, but Hanna - even in her state - would not let him get any where near there. She could feel every inch of his arousal pressing against her bottom and even with the long lingering kisses on her neck & mouth, Hanna still wouldn't let go.

" You want to take this elsewhere? " he whispered in her ear while still moving to the beat of the music.

" Uh..." Hanna was surprised by his direct approach, he'd flat out asked her to go home with him. No sweet talking just straight to the point. Hanna looked over at who was tongue deep with a hot blonde male, she looked to her for help but instead Kennedy gave her a thumbs up & returned to her partner. " I think I need to use the rest room first, wait for me at the bar? " Hanna asked.

" Sure gorgeous, come find me " he kissed her lips. Hanna made her way into the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror she wiped her lips and scrunched up her face. He was far too drunk to know what he was doing & she had more self respect then to put herself in that situation. After a few minutes Hanna left the bathroom & started to make her way back toward the bar, she froze on the spot when she seen Mr-Tall-Dark-And-Handsome flirting with another blonde and buying her a drink.

She took the opportunity to sneak past the other side of the bar & out into the cool night air p, Hanna felt relieved. She'd escaped a serial player & quite possibly a walk of shame. She hailed a cab & the entire ride home she wondered what the hell was she thinking getting all dolled up & going to a bar? This wasn't her, she didn't do this kind of thing. She didn't go home with strangers & most certainly would not have sex with just anybody.

When she arrived home she tipped the taxi driver & slipped off her heels, her feet became heavier with each step she took to her door, although it was only a short distance Hanna felt like she'd walked a mile. She now realized how drunk she really was. When she finally reached the door & got inside, she threw her shoes on the floor & went straight to bed still dressed in the clothes she'd been wearing.

Watching the room spin above her Hanna wondered what it would be like to be Kennedy, to be as confident as she was & take home any man she wanted. She'd have so much experience pleasing men not to mention a confidence Hanna clearly lacked. Kennedy was so carefree, the world was at her feet and there as no one standing in her way.

Hanna on the other hand responsibilities, she had a son. She couldn't be selfish, she couldn't go home with or bring strange men into her life. She had other people to consider, people who meant more to her than a one night stand ever would.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm trying to move this along a little bit faster, (only 6 more to go!) please excuse the long chapter but I introduced a character because that interaction plays a part in chapters to come. How you ask? You'll just have to wait & see but its there for a purpose - good & bad. Read, review if you want.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

Sitting in a large sized office with a view of the city Caleb took a mouthful of water & repeated the therapists question.

" Do I still have anger issues? Sure, but everyone has a temper right? ".

" Let me be more specific, are you still angry with Hanna? " she scribbled on her note pad.

" Depends " he shrugged.

" On what? ".

" Well, If you're asking am I still angry over what she did? then yes. But I try not to think about it when I get to see Thomas. Seeing him is more than I could ever ask for, I never knew being a father could be so rewarding " Caleb smiled proudly.

" How so? " his therapist pushed him to open up.

" Its everything, its his face when I pick him up, it just lights up like a Christmas tree, I just love that look. When its my weekend, I don't hate waking up early on a Sunday like I used to because I have him. We eat breakfast together, watch cartoons and then we have fun together. Last week, he drew me this picture. A silly little scribbly picture that to anyone, would have meant nothing but I posted that thing on my fridge like it had won a national art prize or something. Little things like that, I would have brushed off if it was anyone else's kid but now, they mean more than anything. How is that possible? " Caleb asked.

" Sentiment, its something from the heart, children have a way of sneaking that into our lives, see that drawing over there " she pointed behind her at the black frame sitting by the doorway. " My daughter drew that when she was five, she's twenty three now but I keep that picture here to remind me how innocent children really are ".

The therapist decided to go back to her original question & push Caleb about the things he didn't want to talk about, she could see he was avoiding her questions with a question himself but her job was to help him sort through his issues not evade them.

" So things with Hanna are good then? " she pressed.

" They're fine " he replied so bluntly.

" Define what you mean by fine ".

" We're getting along just fine, we haven't argued about who is right & who is wrong, or who deserves what, we just...don't acknowledge it. Its better that way ". Caleb didn't make eye contact, he just straightened his jeans & cleared his throat, he didn't like where this conversation was heading.

" Will you though? " his therapist asked.

" Will I what? " Caleb dead panned the woman sitting opposite him.

" Not I, the both of you. Acknowledge what happened? Would you listen to her version of events & if she listened to yours? ".

" I don't need to apologize, I did nothing wrong! " Caleb snapped.

" I didn't say you needed to apologize, I simply asked would you talk about it? But what makes you so sure there's nothing you have to apologize for? " she pushed him further just like she did with all her patients, the more they fought her the more she knew there was something worth pushing the boundaries for.

" Because I didn't lie! I didn't keep my son from her for six years! " Caleb's knuckles turned white as he gripped the arm rests in an attempt to hold back his anger.

" Caleb, calm down. You're overlooking my point " she placed her note pad down & walked over to the large window overlooking the river. " I'm not trying to accuse you of being wrong or a liar, I'm trying to help you understand that in order to have a successful long lasting civil relationship with a former partner whom you share a child with, you need to discuss those feelings bubbling under the surface. The anger, the hate, the betrayal, the bitterness and the hurt that came from what you two have experienced, it wont go away. It'll come out eventually and most times it happens when you're at your worst and that's when you'll hurt each other the most, talk about it in a neutral environment - go to family therapy or Christ yell it at each other, either way those feelings need to be discussed ".

" Says who? Says you? I came here for anger management not to talk about how hurt I am " Caleb stood up from his seat.

" And part of that anger is unresolved issues with Hanna, you're angry about having a son kept from you & given your family's history it's a sore spot am I right? ". She looked over to Caleb but he was shaking his head, he didn't want to admit she was right. " Part of your struggle is understanding how someone you once cared about, could do such a terrible thing. Expand your mind a little & just think about the possibility that the breakdown of communication was from both sides, not just one? " she moved back toward her seat & took a mouthful of water. " When Hanna was carrying your child, where were you? " she asked.

" Why are we discussing this now? You know where I was, I told you this five sessions ago! " Caleb glared at her from across the room. He was beyond angry, he was furious. How dare she gain his trust and then accuse him of being wrong, how dare she make him feel this way just hours before his sons birthday party.

" I'm testing the boundaries to see where your real issues lie, I really think we're finally getting somewhere " she smiled with confidence, little did she know she'd pushed Caleb too far.

" Yeah well times up Doc " Caleb pointed to the clock on the wall. " Test the boundaries on your next patient " he stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him. He didn't bother making another appointment he just stormed out of the building and got as far away from her as he could.

Outside in his truck he began punching the steering wheel over & over with his knuckles until he couldn't take it anymore. How was this any of this fault? Yes it was his fault for not wearing a condom, yes it was his fault Hanna fell pregnant but she had a responsibility too, she could have called. She could have called & let him know she was carrying his beautiful child, but she didn't. Not one call, one text, letter or email.

How was he to know he had a son? Caleb was over thinking everything, the more he thought about it the madder he became, he didn't need this. Not today. Not on Thomas' big day. Caleb started his truck & began looking for the nearest coffee shop, he needed something to take the edge off that didn't have an alcohol content.

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><p>Two hours and three coffees later Caleb stepped toward the front door with seven presents in total, ranging from small to large. He rang the door bell &amp; waited patiently. When Ashley opened the door she covered her mouth &amp; held back a laugh.<p>

" You know you only had to buy for Thomas right? Not all the guests? ".

" Hello Ashley " Caleb said politely. " And yes I do know, this is one present for every year that I missed ".

" Oh... Well, come on in. You can put the presents down over there " she pointed to the lounge room where a pile of presents filled a table. She waited as he put the presents down & then guided him down the hall into the kitchen. Outside he could hear kids laughing & chasing one another as pop music played in the background.

" Hanna is outside with the rest of the children and of course, Thomas ". Caleb nodded and followed Ashley outside, Thomas spotted Caleb immediately and ran for him calling out his name as he jumped into his arms.

" Caleb! You're finally here! Isn't this cool? There's so many people here ".

" There sure is! They all your friends? " he joked.

" Of course they are, Mom always puts on the best birthdays " Thomas boasted before taking off with a friend.

" Hey Caleb " Hanna said in passing. Caleb looked around the yard, there were so many activities happening at once. The jumping castle had children bouncing in & out of it, a small group of kids were tossing rings in a corner, another group of children were pinning the tail on cowboy & a few were eating at the candy bar. Hanna had a table for the children and a table for the adults, she had every base covered but what Caleb found most disturbing, was how anyone was tolerating all this noise.

" Hi, I'm John. The little weirdo currently stuffing jelly worms up his nose is mine " he held his hand out as he pointed to his son. Caleb looked at the middle aged man wearing his son's hat on backwards & a light blue tee shirt with a joke across the center.

" Caleb, Thomas' father " he introduced himself.

" Oh " John look surprised. " Well its nice to finally meet one of the Dads. They all seem to work so much but then again if I had these kids, I'd work too " he nudged Caleb and laughed. Caleb tilted his head & studied him, he obviously knew the children well. Maybe a little too well.

" You work? " Caleb asked.

" Only when I want to. I run my own company from home, if I want a day off I take a day off. If I want to pull out my weirdo out of school & go on a holiday we just pack up & go " he said happily. " I'm a Freelance Architect - mostly commercial ".

" Is you're partner or wife here too? Sorry to ask, I just don't know any of the parents here " Caleb apologized.

" Ex-wife " he stated. " She took off with her banker & gained like 100 pounds. Sucks to be her but hey, life goes on right? ". Caleb agreed & laughed. He grabbed himself a drink & looked around, a group of women were staring at him from across the yard, Caleb searched for Thomas but John appeared beside him again & gave him a warning.

" Watch out for the cougar club, they'll rip you to bits. Mae is the blonde one giving you her best come here honey look, Grace has a bit more class but she's been through all the singles in our district so I'd stay clear of her, and Rebecca...well there's only one way to describe her " John took a drink before finishing his words. " She's a god damn night mare. John waved to all the ladies trying to get Caleb's attention but they snarled back at him, Caleb looked up & seen three women waving to him from across the yard.

" Are all parties like this? " Caleb asked.

" Oh heck no, this " he pointed between the two of them " is just a friendly welcome to the wild, I wish someone had of warned me, but enough about them what do you do? " John had moved the conversation elsewhere.

" I restore heritage buildings & renovate houses. My old man owns the company, I hate the suit side of things, I'd much rather be down with the guys bringing things back to life ".

" I hear you, hey do you have any business cards by chance? I wouldn't mind passing a few around to some people I know, they bought this huge property a while down the road & they're thinking of ripping out the insides & making it all brand new ". John was always connecting people together through business, it was a something he had a knack for.

" Sure " Caleb pulled several cards from his wallet & gave them to John.

" Thanks Caleb, but now I've got to go stop my child from letting down the jumping castle, nice meeting you " he shook his hand & ran over to the jumping castle to put a stop his son from suffocating all that were inside.

" Yeah you too " Caleb smiled, he never thought he'd make friends with an architect at his sons birthday party let alone be handing out business cards. His father had generally stayed away from rich snobs with money to burn, they were much fussier in regards to who they built or restored with. Jamie appreciated heritage, he loved restoring structures & feeling like he'd gone back in time.

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><p>The afternoon went by without a hitch, they'd played all the games Hanna had planned, opened most of the presents, sang happy birthday &amp; ate the delicious birthday cake. As the children became tired &amp; grumpy, their parents started taking them home. Hanna gave them a loot bag as they left &amp; repeated several times they would organize a play date in the near future.<p>

As the last child left Hanna turned to see her mother picking up empty cups & plates off of the floor, luckily she was smart enough to put covers on the floor to stop spills from happening.

" I suppose I better make a start on that backyard " Hanna looked outside.

" There's not much left out there except for left over food " Ashley commented.

" Who cleaned up all the mess? And when? " Hanna was surprised. Ashley pointed toward the hall where they could hear Thomas & Caleb talking.

" Caleb? " Hanna whispered. Ashley nodded and smiled as she cleaned down the counter. " Are you serious? ". Hanna was surprised, he didn't have to do anything today other than be there for Thomas.

" Since there isn't much left to do I'm going to go Hanna, I've got dinner plans with some friends " she walked over & kissed her cheek.

" Thanks for coming Mom, I appreciate it. No surprise Dad didn't make it " she frowned. Ashley shrugged, it wasn't the first time he'd let them down and it wouldn't be the last. Ashley grabbed her bag meeting Thomas & Caleb in the lounge room, she was happy to see both of them relaxing on the couch & playing with his new toys.

" Happy Birthday Thomas " she bent down & kissed his head, she looked to Caleb and patted his shoulder. " I'm glad you came today, you made his day " she pointed to Thomas. Caleb nodded & watched her leave, meanwhile in the kitchen, Hanna put left over food in containers & put them in the fridge, she finished taking out the trash & put a load of washing on before returning to the lounge room.

" He just laid down & fell asleep " Caleb whispered. Hanna smiled and brushed his hair out from his eyes, he still had chocolate cake all over his face.

" Do you want me to put him to bed? " Caleb asked, Hanna nodded and walked down the hall to his room & started pulling his covers back. Caleb entered a minute later & placed him in his bed, he slipped his shoes off & placed them at the end of his bed then proceeded to pull his covers over. Hanna turned his lamp on & walked out of the room, Caleb followed a few seconds later.

" Well thanks for having me " Caleb stopped at the front door. " I know it wasn't easy but I'm grateful. I hope all the gifts I got Thomas wont be a nuisance but if they are, I have the receipts " he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

" What do you mean all the gifts? " Hanna studied him.

" I uh...I bought seven gifts for Thomas, one for every year that I missed, making up for lost time and all that " he smiled briefly.

" You didn't have to do that " Hanna shook her head.

" I know, but I wanted to. I've missed so much and don't want to miss anything else " he explained himself.

" You wont, I promise " Hanna assured him. Caleb acknowledged her promise & hoped she'd keep her word.

" I'll see you next week " Caleb started to walk out the door but Hanna grabbed his arm.

" Caleb wait. I know I apologized a while back but... ".

" But what? " Caleb interrupted her, he hoped this wasn't going to lead to an argument. Today had been perfect enough, he didn't want it ruined now.

" Every time I see you & Thomas together, I feel_ so_ guilty. So much that its killing me, he loves you _so_ much & I had no right in depriving either of you that " her eyes began filling with tears. " I just needed you to know & I'm _so_ sorry for what I did " her voice became a whisper. Caleb looked down at Hanna, he knew she meant it, her apology was heartfelt. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ears & his fingers skimmed her jaw line.

" You gave me the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. There is _nothing_ " he really emphasized his last word " better than him " he pointed toward the hall where Thomas was sleeping. Hanna laughed through tears & nodded.

" That's true ".

" Come here " Caleb pulled Hanna toward him & held her against his chest, she put her arms around his waist & breathed in his scent. He smelt fucking fantastic, definitely no knock off cologne. When Hanna realized she was breathing him in, she pushed back quickly & looked up at him. Caleb wiped the tear from the corner of her eye & smiled.

" We'll get through this together, for Thomas ".

" For Thomas " she repeated. Caleb said goodbye & walked out the door, he stopped half way to his truck & scratched the back of his head. Why did he do that? Why did he touch her & pull her against him, why did he feel her hair & wipe the tear from her eyes? It was then he realized how easy it was for them to fall back into one another, by the time he'd reached his car he'd made a mental note to not let that happen again.


	15. Chapter 15

**So another chapter done, its a long one and hopefully explains a lot about Caleb. I also wanted to note that while I am trying to get these chapters to you as fast as I can, reviews that say OMG update soon makes me think you didnt read it at all because I JUST GAVE YOU AN UPDATE! I've updated this story at least 5 times in the past 6 or so weeks which is faster than I have ever done. Yes I realise there was some big gaps between the early chapters - I was/still am going through something that has changed my life and sometimes I get really sick which means writing stories is the last thing on my mind. This is the biggest fic I have ever written (surpassing True Feelings by 4 chapters) & its creatively draining. I have spent 6 hours editing this chapter alone. So please, have some patience & know that I am trying my hardest to bring you a fic that is worth reading. And to the reviewer who asked about Thomas calling Caleb " Dad " - I hadnt really thought about it but thank you, it has been taken into account. **

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><p>Sitting on the floor with a bottle of wine beside her, Hanna looked over the catalogue she &amp; Kennedy put together for next seasons range. The range was beautiful and some quite elegant but one page stood out particular, the colors were matched perfectly as were the accessories but there was just something she didn't like it.<p>

She'd been staring at it for so long that she hadn't heard the knocking on the door, she looked at the time on her phone and wondered who could it be, she wasn't expecting anyone and who ever it was, they would not be seeing her at her finest. She had on tight black yoga pants with an oversized jumper that fell off one shoulder, face free of make up & her hair thrown in a high bun on top of her head. When she opened the door she instantly wished she didn't look the way she did.

" Hey, you got a minute? ".

" Sure, Whats up? " she invited Caleb in. He looked around waiting for Thomas to come running out but he was nowhere to be found.

" Is Thomas here? ".

" No actually, my Mom took him for the weekend. She gets lonely sometimes and takes him for the whole weekend. It really helps me out when I need a break and they get to spend time together so its a win win " Hanna smiled.

" Is something wrong? Did I come at a bad time? " Caleb studied her, she didn't seem to show any signs of stress or needing a break. Maybe she didn't mean right now?

" Not at all, I'm just going over next months catalogue, I could do with a break " Hanna tossed some loose strands on the opposite side of her head.

" Ok good " he nodded. " Thats good. I uh... " he hesitated. " I've uh " he paused again, this was harder than he thought.

" You're nervous about something? " Hanna teased.

" Yeah, I am. Its kind of in my head but not coming out the way I want it to " Caleb twirled his finger beside his head like a crazy person.

" Just say it " Hanna insisted.

" Ok " he nodded. " I've been seeing a therapist " he said slowly. Caleb looked at her and then back to the floor, telling her what he did in his spare time made him feel weak & insecure. " About us ". He bit down on his bottom lip, that came out worse than he intended, there really was no nice way to say he was talking to someone else about their situation.

" What about us? " Hanna questioned him.

" Nothing like you're thinking, really. I'm just working through all that has happened, between you & I, and Thomas ". Caleb finally made eye contact, she looked hurt. Not what he was hoping for. He tucked his hands into the back pockets of his jeans & fought the urge to reach out and comfort her.

" Oh " was all Hanna could say.

" Don't get me wrong, I don't talk bad mouth you or anything, I just need help understanding everything ". His therapist was a god damn liar, this was hell. He was saying all the wrong things with nothing but good intentions. And the worst part was he hadn't even scratched the surface of what he needed to say.

" You know can ask me anything Caleb, I promise to tell you the truth " Hanna tried assuring him.

" I know " he whispered and chewed on the corner of his mouth. " But thats not what I came here for. I need to talk to you but not here ".

" Then where? " Hanna was intrigued, what on earth could he want to talk about that couldn't be done at her house or his? He was acting strange but Hanna somehow knew he must have a good reason otherwise he wouldn't be at her house.

" Would you be up for a drive? In my truck? And...if at any point you want to turn around and come back home, I'll do it " he pleaded with her. He was praying for a miracle but he'd only take her if she went willingly,

" Ok " Hanna answered quickly.

" Yeah? " he looked surprised.

" Yeah, but where are we going exactly? " she pressed him again.

" I can't tell you that just yet but you wont even have to get changed. Maybe just grab some shoes and a jacket ". Hanna walked back to her room grabbing her runners from her closet along with a jacket & met Caleb at the door.

" Ready " she smiled as she grabbed her phone & keys. Caleb walked out the door first and that was when it hit him, this was the first time he & Hanna had been alone. Just the two of them. Inside his truck. For at least a couple of hours.

He unlocked the doors & climbed inside opening the door for Hanna from the inside.

" Thank you " she said as she climbed inside, when she closed the door it hit her like a tonne of bricks. His intoxicating smell was all over this car. His cologne mixed with what Hanna could assume was maple. She looked around the car & noticed how clean it was, no guy she had ever met had a car this clean. She had to wonder if he gave it a quick clean before coming to see her, that thought alone bought a smile to her face.

" This is...roomy " she ran her hands over the leather seats.

" It does the job " he smiled as he pulled out of her driveway. Hanna knew he was being modest, anything he had whether it be expensive or not, he had earnt it. He hated having things given to him without earning it first. He learnt that the hard way when his mother gave him an expensive car when he was seventeen & then took it back just a few months later.

The drive was awkward and quiet, Hanna didn't know what to talk about, she felt like she was sixteen again.

" How's your Dad? " Hanna asked as Caleb pulled onto the freeway.

" He's good, working hard. Securing contracts. I hate that side of things, Dad has always been good at sweet talking " he laughed.

" Yeah, he has " she laughed back.

" Hows yours? " Caleb took his eyes off the road for a second. Hanna rolled her eyes & shrugged her shoulders.

" He didn't even come to Thomas' birthday party, can you believe that? Who doesn't come to their own grandsons birthday party? He's still a jerk & Isabelle is just... Ugh. I have no words for her " Hanna's was disgusted, they hadn't called to explain just nothing.

" Their loss right? " Caleb tried to see the silver lining but Hanna's father always did have a knack for hurting her, in Caleb's eyes he was not a good person.

" Yeah I guess so ". In a split second she'd taken the conversation from light hearted to bitter without even realizing it. She felt terrible, in his own truck she made him feel uncomfortable. She checked her phone and seen a missed call & text from Kennedy. She read it quickly & replied.

_Hey hot Momma! What are you doing tonight?_

_Hey, sorry I missed your call. Going for a drive :/_

_Tell me its with someone? Kennedy texted back immediately._

_Yes._

_Ooo, details. Is it a guy? Are you in a secluded area? God I hope so_

_Yes. And yes. Hanna replied with a smile on her face._

_Its not your parents or someone you're related to is it? Hanna laughed to herself._

_God no!_

_Good! You should have sex in his car._

_No. Hanna was blunt. She didn't leave any room for argument but Kennedy prevailed._

_Why not? You NEED to have sex. Its not healthy, you're going to dry up._

_Goodbye Kennedy._

Hanna put her phone back in her bag but it flashed one last time.

_I EXPECT FULL DETAILS ON MONDAY!_

" Sorry about that " Hanna apologized.

" No apology needed " Caleb looked over at Hanna and then back to the road again, she was a beautiful distraction. Hearing her laugh again was music to his ears, he forgot how cute she sounded when she laughed. He missed watching her throwing her head back & laughing or the menacing little laugh she used to have when she was up to no good. There were a lot of things he missed but that was another lifetime, a time when they were both carefree & reckless & only had themselves to worry about. Never the next week or month or year. Just living each day as if it were their last.

" Where are we going exactly? Its very dark & creepy " Hanna looked out the window, all she could see were trees flying past them, where ever they were it wasn't a place she knew, or so she thought.

" Almost there " Caleb said softly. Although he didn't show it, his heart was racing. He had Hanna in his car, in the middle of nowhere about to spill all of his dark past.

" Caleb? Why'd you bring me all this way? " she asked, Caleb came to a complete stop & pointed to a sign.

" Thats why ".

" Ravenswood? Why are we in Ravenswood " Hanna turned to face him.

" I didn't think you'd understand the full extent of what I'm about to show you unless you were here, I need you to feel how dark & alone it is out here ". Soon enough she'd know exactly how lonely he was and why he wasn't there for Thomas' birth.

" Oh I get it, believe me. This town gives me the creeps " Caleb drove slowly through town, it was just as he remembered. Dark, miserable & depressing. He continued along the outskirts of town & then pulled into a small clearing. He reached behind his seat for his jacket, it was colder than he had expected. Rounding the truck he opened the door for Hanna, she smiled as she got out of his truck. Hanna mentally noted that was the second time tonight he had opened the door for her.

" What is this place? ". Caleb grabbed a torch from the back of his truck & held out his hand out.

" Do you trust me? " he asked. Hanna couldn't answer him, trust was something they both lost a long time ago. " There's a walking track down that hill, I wont let you fall if you just take my hand ". Hanna hesitated, holding hands was fifth grade but with Caleb right here and now, it was intimate. She reluctantly gave him her hand & he lead her down the dark track that came to an opening where she could only just make out a set of train tracks, they walked beside the train tracks until Caleb . stopped and pointed his torch at the bridge.

" You see that bridge there? A lot of my time was spent under that bridge. Alone and in the dark drinking my nights away ". Caleb hung his head in disgust, he hadn't told anyone about this other than his therapists. It wasn't something he was proud of.

" You didn't have to tell me that " Hanna stepped in front Caleb so she could see his face.

" I want you to know this. The last time I was in Rosewood I should have told you what I'm about to tell you, I don't know why I didn't I just couldn't say the words out loud. I wish I did though because I messed everything up ". Caleb's voice was brittle.

" You didn't " Hanna touched his arm. " I did ".

" Yeah I did " he nodded and stepped away from her. " I was messed up & never told you about what happened ".

" What do you mean what happened? ". Hanna was afraid to hear what he had to say.

" After you went back to Rosewood I was in a car with Remy & Miranda, she was in the front seat & I was in the back. We seen Luke & Olivia walking on the side of the road & offered them a ride home, we were driving across a bridge when all f a sudden Miranda screamed & grabbed the wheel. The car veered off the side of the bridge and into the river below. We were trapped for a while but somehow got pulled from the scene, Miranda though...she uh...". Caleb didn't want to say the words but he knew he had to. " She died at the scene. She was right in front of me, like I could reach out and touch her. We were talking about going to get greasy fries just moments before and then later that night someone's telling me she's dead ". Tears flowed down his cheeks as he recalled that night like it was yesterday. " The doctors told me I died on the way to the hospital but the paramedics revived me ".

Hanna covered her mouth in shock, the thought of Caleb dying in a car accident was more than she could handle.

" Oh my god " she whispered.

" I just couldn't fathom why I was saved and she wasnt, like somehow my life was more important than hers. She had no family, no one to remember her, her uncle barely even got to know who she was. To this day, only a few people knew who she was " Caleb wiped the tears from his cheeks.

" I don't know what to say Caleb, that must have been horrific ".

He nodded and answered with a softly spoken " It was ".

" I'm so sorry " she apologized for his loss. Hanna had only met Miranda once, at the time she seemed like a nice sweet girl.

" They gave her a funeral and everything but most people were there for her uncle, not her. Her said a few words that told me he didn't know her at all, when you think you're all alone and then you finally find your family, you're meant to want to be with them right? " Caleb asked.

" I guess so " Hanna shrugged. She started to understand why Caleb felt he had to help Miranda, they were lost souls looking for a sense of belonging. " Is that why you said you had to come back? ". Caleb nodded, even though Miranda had died he couldn't return to Rosewood as if nothing had happened. He was too traumatized.

" I returned to Ravenswood but was so consumed with grief I found myself sitting under that bridge late at night with a bottle of scotch or whatever I could get my hands on to numb the pain, only it didn't work. It made things ten times worse. Jamie was working all the time & I had lost you too, I just didn't have anyone in my corner you know? ".

" If you called, I would have came ".

" I know " he looked at her. " I was just too stubborn to make that call and I'd smashed my phone on the train tracks a week later " Caleb explained.

" When I didn't hear from you I thought maybe you'd fallen for Miranda & I was heartbroken. I thought if I called and you were with her, you wouldn't have answered ".

" I wasn't, we had a lot in common but I was still crazy in love with you. I was sincerely trying to help her find some roots somewhere, I think if you had the chance to know her properly, you would have liked her " Caleb smiled at her memory.

" Maybe I would have " Hanna shrugged. " Its unfortunate I never got the chance to ".

" Anyways, I buried myself in the bottle but when that wasn't enough I started buying from some kids in town and before I knew it I was suicidal & trying to jump off that bridge right there " he pointed behind her. " I almost did one night, I slipped and fell and had to pull myself back up. No one was even around if I had of fallen onto the tracks " he shrugged.

" Jesus Caleb " Hanna turned around and looked at the bridge above them, while she was pregnant with their son he was here fighting his own battle.

" Things got pretty bad, I ended up having a mental breakdown. I was screaming nonsense in town square & hitting myself in the head, someone called the cops but it was my Dad who tackled me to the ground so the police could handcuff me. They took me straight to the crazy house for a psychiatric assessment. It took a whole month to come back down and join the real world but after that Jamie changed. He quit working so much and focused a lot of his time on me. I remember him saying he'd already lost me once and he wasn't going to lose me again ".

" I wish I could have been there to help you " Hanna sat down on a large rock & looked up at Caleb.

" I'm glad you werent, if I had of hurt you I could never forgive myself. Any how, I spent another six months talking to three different shrinks before they let me out. It was probably the right thing at the time keeping Thomas a secret, I wasn't in any state of mind to be caring for a baby let alone myself ".

" That doesn't excuse what I did though " Hanna accepted what she did was wrong. " I should have told you ".

" Probably, but then you would've had to worry about raising our son and worry about me having a nervous breakdown, hell you probably would have had one yourself. I had to keep my distance, for the sake of everyone. I missed you _a lot_ but figured you would've moved on ".

" I didn't " Hanna shook her head. Caleb walked over to her & kneeled down, he grabbed one of her hands & started to apologize.

" Hanna let me apologize, I'm sorry I drowned myself in grief instead of coming to you. I'm sorry you had to do it all alone & I'm sorry for not being the man I should have been ". Caleb felt a tear running down his cheek, his therapist was right. In order to move forward they both had to admit fault. " I'm so fucking sorry Hanna, it was the biggest mistake I ever made " he sobbed, Hanna didn't know how to comfort him. Before she could lay a hand on his head he stood up and walked away, he had no right in asking Hanna for forgiveness. When she needed him the most, he deserted her & became someone he swore he'd never become.

Hanna followed him & stopped him in his tracks, he was shielding his face, hiding from all the bad things he'd done to her. Hanna pulled his hands away from his face & made him look at her.

" You were saved because you were meant to be someone's father. Whether you choose to believe it, you are wanted, there are people who care for you & need you in their lives ". Caleb looked at her & appreciated what she was saying.

" There really isn't anyone like you in the entire world is there? ".

" Nope, I'm one of a kind " she joked. They stared at the bridge for a little longer and watched as the last train out of Ravenswood flew past, taking all their pain & regret with it. Caleb let out a long breath & held out his hand again, Hanna placed her hand in his & started walking back up the walking track. Although Caleb had his torch it was still hard to see what was in front of them. Hanna felt her hand slipping but Caleb readjusted his grip & squeezed her hand until they arrived back at his truck again.

On the drive back to Philadelphia they spoke a lot about Thomas & what he was like growing up, Caleb told Hanna he'd gone through all the photos and videos she'd given him. He spoke of his favorite moments & Hanna told him in detail about that day & how she felt when Thomas hit his milestones. Caleb could have listened to her talk about Thomas for hours. He was so happy listening to her memories that he hadn't realized they were back at her house so soon.

" We're back already? " she looked at her house.

" Yeah, I guess we are ". Caleb stepped out of his truck & opened Hanna's door for her, all night he'd been the perfect gentleman. He helped her in & out of his truck, he guided her safely toward the train tracks & now to her front door but not once did he take advantage of her. He wasn't here for that reason, he was here to admit his wrong doing in the hope they could move forward as friends and successfully co-parent Thomas.

" Thank you for trusting me tonight Hanna " Caleb thanked her. Hanna turned to face him but ended up dropping her keys on the ground below, she bent down to pick them up at the same time Caleb did. They lifted their heads & were suddenly a little too close for comfort.

" Here " he handed her the keys.

" Thanks " she spoke softly. Hanna opened the door & turned the light on, she turned around to find Caleb still on her front step. " Good night Caleb " she smiled.

" Good night Hanna ". He had to know she was safe & inside her home before he could start walking back to his truck.

He walked to his truck but half way down the path he turned around & started walking back to her door, he then turned on his heels & started walking back toward his truck, he did this three times before until finally he made it all the ay to his truck. He didn't know why he kept turning back around, he had to of gone insane to think if he knocked on her door she would take him back now she knew all that had happened. He mentally cursed himself as he drove away from her house, this wasn't high school anymore, an apology and some I-love-you 's wasn't going to cut it.

They were two adults living in different cities, they had built careers, made friends & laid roots elsewhere. The only thing they had in common now was they shared a son, a son whose happiness depended on them being civil, which was all they were ever going to be.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the long break between chapters again, I got a little sick but now I'm better & I started a new job which left me no time to write until now. I hope you enjoy the chapter, as devastating as it is I hope you can see the development happening. Thanks for still reading. :)**

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><p><strong><strong>It was a cold Christmas morning as Hanna laid a sheet of pastry across the cool metal tin, after cutting the overhanging pastry she brushed the top of the pie with a beaten egg. For as long as she could remember there was always apple pie on Christmas.

She sprinkled a pinch of sugar over the pie before putting it in the oven, all the while watching her mother decorate the table. The crisp white table runner looked gorgeous against the centerpieces that consisted of three mason jars filled with salt, cranberries & juniper.

" It looks beautiful Mom " Hanna tucked a chair against the table.

" Its a simple Christmas and we need somewhere to put all the food with how many are coming ". Hanna went to check on Thomas but stopped in the hall as her phone began to ring.

" Hello " she answered.

" Merry Christmas Hanna " Tom said politely.

" Merry Christmas to you too Dad ". Ashley stopped what she was doing and listened to their conversation.

" I hope you & Thomas are well ".

" We are... ". Hanna answered. The more she listened the more she knew something was different. He didn't sound happy like most people did on Christmas, he sounded cold & disappointed.

" Listen Han, we're going to have to cancel lunch today, Kate has fallen ill. Isabelle & I offered to watch Emery while she rests ".

" You're kidding right? Tell me you're joking " Hanna started laughing.

" I kid you not ". Tom was very blunt, he didn't laugh or explain anything else he just gave Hanna the news and that was that.

" You know, I'm your daughter too " Hanna raised her voice. She shouldn't of been so surprised but even to this day Kate still did anything to steal the limelight from Hanna.

" Hanna calm down. We didn't plan this, it just happened " Tom defended his family.

" It always just happens, story of my life since I was fourteen ".

" You're being ridiculous ". His comment only made her blood boil.

" Let Isabelle & William look after her, come and see your family on Christmas ".

" I can't do that ". His comment made Hanna explode.

" Well let me tell you whats ridiculous? Having a father who gives a shit more about his other family than the one he already had. You aren't even trying anymore, its always Isabelle and Kate this, Emery that. Thomas is your actual grandson and you barely acknowledge him. Nana would be ashamed to know you treat us like this " Hanna let loose. She'd finally had enough of her father's bullshit, he didn't call Hanna or Thomas on their birthdays and he missed thanksgiving even though Hanna left him a tonne of messages inviting him to lunch and dinner.

" Hanna! " her father began to scald her.

" Its true and you know it! ". Regina never liked Kate or Isabelle, she always loved Ashley & Hanna more even though Kate & Isabelle tried their hardest to butter her up.

" If you were sick on Christmas, I'd be the exact same ".

" Ha! " Hanna laughed. " You & I both know hell would have to freeze over for that to happen. No more chances Dad, I'm done ". Hanna completely turned her phone off and threw it back in her bag, she didn't want to hear another excuse from her non-existent father.

" Whats wrong Mommy? Why are you mad? " Thomas ran down the hall & stopped in front of her.

" Nothing baby, Mommy was just getting something off her chest. Go back to your room and finish building that lego truck so I can see how huge it is, ok? " Hanna shuffled him back to his room and then walked back to the kitchen seething, how could her father do this to her? On Christmas!

" They're not coming are they? " Ashley stopped setting the table. Hanna shook her head & continued cleaning the mess leftover from making apple pie.

" He is so damn ignorant, I've had enough. I'm not inviting him to anything anymore! . He always says yes I'll come " Hanna mocked him. " And then never does and its always got something to do with them! ".

" Bringing up Regina was a bit harsh don't you think? " Ashley removed the extra plates & cutlery from the table.

" No its not! And if she were here with us now she'd probably say the same thing. She never liked them either, she saw right through their fake polished bullshit " Hanna whisper yelled. Ashley didn't say another word, for once she agreed with Hanna. Ever since their divorce, Tom had become the worst father out, he constantly criticized Hanna & continuously let her down, when his mother passed he became even more distant from Hanna, she was lucky to see him twice a year.

Hanna continued preparing lunch while she waited for Jamie & Caleb to arrive. She'd been so busy putting things in the oven, slicing meat & whipping cream that she hadn't realized the time. It was close to midday when the door bell rang, Hanna took off her apron & threw it on the bench. She checked herself in the mirror making sure there wasn't any food in her hair or on her clothes.

" That must be them " she happily rushed toward the front door, when she opened it, it wasn't who she hoped for. " Can I help you? ".

" Hanna Marin? " the officer asked.

" Yes that's me " she looked at the both of them.

" My name is Officer Brown, this is Officer Manning " he pointed to his partner. " We are sorry inform you but there has been an accident ".

" With who? " She asked.

" We have you listed as an emergency contact ".

" By who? " she repeated herself.

" Caleb Rivers ".

" Oh my god! " Hanna covered her mouth with her hands. " Is he... " she was afraid to finish the sentence.

" Mr Rivers has been taken to Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, at the time of leaving the scene Mr Rivers and his father Mr Doyle were both unresponsive ".

" They're both injured? " Hanna's eyes widened. " As in both hurt? ".

" Yes Ma'am. Mr Doyle was seriously injured and took longer to be cut free from their vehicle. He is on route to the same hospital ".

" Oh my god! " Hanna shook her head in disbelief, this was not what she had planned for Christmas Day. The officer handed Hanna a card.

" The address of the hospital is listed here as is the number to the station " he pointed to the card. " If you need anything, anything at all, please do not hesitate to call that number. Good day Ma'am " the officers dipped their hat at Hanna and returned to their vehicle.

" Mom! " Hanna shrieked & ran into the kitchen. " I have to go, can you keep cooking everything and watch Thomas for me please? " she begged.

" Whats happened? Who was that at the door? ".

" The police, Jamie & Caleb were in a serious car accident. They're at the hospital. I have to go! ".

" Oh my god, are they ok? " Ashley asked.

" I don't know! I just need to go! Where are my god damn keys?! " Hanna searched the kitchen and inside her bag.

" They're by the back door where you left them " Ashley pointed to the corner of the bench.

" Thomas & I will be fine just go! " she shooed her down the hall toward the door.

" Thank you Mom " Hanna grabbed her jacket & bag and started to rush out the door but not before Thomas grabbed the back of her coat.

" Where are you going Mom? " he asked.

" I just have to duck out but I'll be back soon ok? " Hanna kissed him on the head and rushed out the door.

" Drive safe Hanna " Ashley yelled from the door. Hanna drove as fast as she could but hit every red light on the way to the hospital, she cursed and tapped her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. " Are you fucking serious? " she looked up to the sky as if she were talking to the man above. " I have to get to him! " she yelled. As soon as the light turned green Hanna put her foot to the floor, her tyres screeched as she took off like a bat out of hell, when she finally arrived at the hospital she almost sprinted across the car park to the Emergency Department.

" Caleb Rivers & Jamie Doyle are they here? " she asked. " I was told they came in a while ago, they were in a car accident? " Hanna's words came out faster than the receptionist could keep up with. Hanna could see the paramedics bringing in three people and wondered how long ago Jamie & Caleb were bought in.

" What were their names again? " the receptionist asked.

" Caleb Rivers & Jamie Doyle " she said slowly. The receptionist searched the computer & told Hanna to take a seat but she couldn't down. Not at a time like this.

" Hanna Marin? " a nurse called out her name, Hanna bolted toward the doors where a nurse was standing with a chart.

" Yes that's me ".

" Follow me please & sanitize your hands before entering " she pointed to the pump bottle by the door. Hanna did as she was told & followed the nurse into the emergency room, rounding a corner she watched as the nurse pulled back the curtain. She was shocked and relieved at the same time, although Caleb's shirt was cut open she could still see the amount of blood he'd lost, it soaked one side of his shirt & made his injuries look much worse.

" Oh thank god! " she slammed her hand over her heart. Caleb was laying on the bed getting his head stitched back together.

" Hanna? " Caleb called out as his hand searched for her.

" Hold still Mr Rivers " the doctor continued stitching his head. Caleb was scared, he was in yet another car accident & didn't know where the hell his father was or even if he was alive. Hanna stood beside the bed and instantly wrapped her hands around his.

" I'm here " she squeezed. Caleb held her hand as tight as he could, she was the only familiar thing he had right now & he wasn't about to let her go.

" Alright Mr Rivers you're all done. Ten stitches " the doctor tossed his instruments in the dish & cleaned up after himself.

" Is he going to be ok? " Hanna was still worried.

" Mr Rivers is a very lucky man, his seat belt saved him from a serious and life threatening injury. He has a mild concussion, whiplash & some general bruising. I'd like to observe him over the next couple of hours as a precaution if that's alright with you Mr Rivers? " the doctor looked between the both of them. Caleb nodded as did Hanna. The doctor went to walk away but Hanna asked him one more question.

" What about his father? Is there anything you can tell us? " Hanna looked to Caleb and back to the doctor, she could tell he was scared & worried.

" Mr Doyle is still in trauma one, when we know more we'll come notify you both ". Hanna nodded and thanked the doctor for his help. After the nurse finished cleaning Caleb up & checking his vitals she left the two of them alone with the curtain drawn most of the way around the bed.

" Thank you...for staying " Caleb looked to Hanna, she smiled & squeezed his hand again.

" I'm so grateful you're alright ". Two hours had passed and still, there was no news on Jamie. Hanna fell asleep holding Caleb's hand as had he even though the nurse told him to stay awake. The whooshing sound of the curtain being pulled back woke Hanna from her sleep, when she realized it was the doctor on duty she touched Caleb's shoulder.

" Caleb, wake up. The doctor is here ". Caleb opened his eyes at sat up in bed.

" How are you feeling Mr Rivers? " the doctor asked.

" My head is sore but I'm doing alright. Anything on my Dad? " he asked.

" That's why I'm here. We've assessed your father and he's going to need immediate surgery ".

" For what? ". Surgery meant his father had a serious injury, Caleb hated when people beat around the bush.

" He has two fractures in his left leg, a broken wrist & a fractured jaw ".

" Oh god " Caleb grimaced at the pain his father must be in. Hanna squeezed his hand and continued questioning the doctor.

" Will he be alright? ".

" He will be as soon as we can start repairing his injuries, he'll be in surgery for quite a while though ".

" I don't care just fix him " Caleb looked directly at the doctor, he acknowledged his demand with simple nod. An hour & a half later Caleb was discharged from the hospital, he insisted on staying but the nurse informed him his fathers surgery was taking longer than expected.

" Come on, lets go home for a while " Hanna tugged at his arm. Caleb left willingly but all he could think about was his father lying alone in the operating room.

It was late in the afternoon by the time they returned home to Hanna's, when Caleb stepped inside Ashley appeared from the kitchen & held a hand over her heart.

" Oh thank heavens you're alright Caleb " Ashley walked toward him & wrapped her arms around him. " I'm sorry you've had such a terrible day ".

" Me too " he hugged her in return. Ashley pulled back & looked at his shirt & pants still covered in blood.

" Let me get you a change of clothes, I'm sure we have something lying around " she hurried off down the hall to the guest room. Thomas popped his head out his door, as soon as he set his sights on Caleb he came rushing out.

" Caleb! You're finally here " he wrapped his arms around his waist and held on tight. Caleb felt like he'd been hit a third time.

" Hey kiddo, Merry Christmas ". Caleb put his hand on the side of Thomas' head & held him against his body even though it hurt. He was so happy to see his son, things could have been very different had he of been the one driving.

It could have been him on the operating table.

" Did you bring me anything? " Thomas looked up.

" Thomas! " Hanna scalded him.

" What? Its Christmas " he looked at his mother & wondered if she'd forgotten what day it was.

" I'm sure your father did have something for you but it'll just have to wait now ".

" Why! " he whined & stomped his foot.

" Because there was a very bad accident that's why! Now stop it " she snapped at him for being ungrateful.

" God! " Thomas stomped back to his room.

" If you're going to be like that you can stay in there all night Thomas! " Hanna called out.

" I will, I have my toys. So there " Thomas blew a raspberry at her before slamming his door shut. Hanna had to bite her tongue, it wasn't Thomas' fault he didn't understand what was going on. Hanna walked into the kitchen to see her mother had re-arranged the table for five instead of ten. After getting changed out of his bloody clothes, Caleb made his way to the kitchen. When he seen the table decorated and all the covered food he gripped the back of the chair & hung his head.

" Caleb? " Hanna put a hand on his back.

" I'm ok, I'm just...I need a minute " Caleb tried to keep his emotions hidden but the more he looked around the room the more he believed he ruined a perfectly good day. He made eye contact with the both of them but the second his eyes glassed over Ashley left the room to give him privacy.

" He should be here... Not there ". Tears started falling down Caleb's cheek as he held the back of the chair.

" I know " Hanna stepped to him & wiped his tears with the pad of her thumb. " I'm sure he'll be fine ".

" I don't even know what happened, one second we were coming off the freeway and the next I wake up to a doctor shining a bright light in my eyes and a pain I can never describe. I knew something was wrong and they wouldn't tell me what had happened to Dad, I was so scared you know ".

" I know you were and clearly you still are. Its written all over your face ".

" Today was meant to be our first Christmas together as a family but now I just...cant ". Caleb had been so excited to spend Christmas with the Marins, it would have been be the first time he celebrated Christmas with more than one relative. For the past six years it had always just been he & his father.

" I know you wont remember today as a good day but why don't we just take an hour at a time? If the hospital calls and you want to go back, we'll go ". A smile quickly appeared on his face but before Hanna could appreciate it, it was gone. He was so grateful to have someone like Hanna in his life. After all he had put her through, she still stood by him at his worst.

Although it didn't seem right without Jamie, they all sat down & ate dinner together, mostly they just listened to Thomas go on & on about the toys he'd gotten from his mother & grandmother. Hanna's apple pie turned out as great as she hoped it would, and they all laughed when Thomas went for seconds and almost finished the whole pie. Ashley helped Hanna clear the table & left soon after, it had been a long day for her as well & she was exhausted. When it was time for bed Caleb carried Thomas into his room and tucked him into bed.

" Goodnight Thomas " Caleb kissed his head.

" Goodnight Dad " Thomas replied.

" Hey? " Caleb studied him. " You said... Dad? ".

" Is it ok to say that? " he asked as if he were in trouble. " I wanted to say that for ages but I didn't know if I should or not ". Caleb's eyes glassed over again and he nodded his head. A small detail caught him off guard and the floodgates almost opened up again.

" Its more than alright and you can call me what ever you want to " Caleb bent down and hugged him again, his son really was the greatest gift he ever received.

" Why are you sad? " Thomas put his hands on Caleb's cheeks.

" I miss my Dad, he's hurt really bad ".

" He'll make it, he's the toughest guy I know " Thomas assured Caleb.

" You're right about that " Caleb kissed the top of Thomas' head.

" Good night Thomas " Caleb turned on his night light.

" Good night Dad ". Caleb walked back into the kitchen rubbing the back of his head.

" You wouldn't believe what just happened? ". Hanna turned around and saw the smile on his face.

" What? ".

" Thomas just called me Dad ". Caleb was still so shocked, something so simple almost floored him.

" Oh my god! Did he really? " Hanna covered her mouth in shock.

" Yeah, I'm shocked. And happy ".

" That's huge! " Hanna stepped to him & wrapped her arms around his body, for the fourth time he felt like he'd been hit again. Caleb winced & Hanna began apologizing.

" I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? I was caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry " she backed away. Caleb held his side & shook his head.

" Don't be, I should be the one apologizing " he spoke softly.

" Why? You've done nothing wrong " Hanna studied him for a second. " I hope you don't mean about the accident? ". It wasn't his fault they got rear ended by a truck and then hit by an oncoming vehicle. " Today was...an unfortunate event ".

" I ruin everything " Caleb spoke again. He was drowning in his own guilt, if they had of left when they were suppose to they wouldn't have been hit and his father wouldn't be lying in the hospital broken.

" No you don't " Hanna tried convincing him otherwise. She reached for his hand and dragged him into the lounge room, he didn't sit down like she did though. Caleb was silent as he stared out into the darkness from the main front window.

" Why am I always the lucky one? I've been in two serious car accidents and every time, I walk away with barely a scratch on me. The people I care about though, they always get hurt ".

" Someone is clearly watching over you " Hanna walked over to where he was and stood beside him.

" Are they trying to teach me a lesson? Maybe third times the charm? " he looked over his shoulder at her.

" Please don't say that " she pleaded. She didn't want to lose him again & she knew for sure if Thomas lost his father he would never recover.

" I'm sorry, that was a shitty thing to say " he apologized. " See, I keep ruining things ".

" This is probably the first time today you've been able to process everything " she touched his arm.

" I'm not doing a very good job of it, I feel like everything I say or do comes out wrong ".

" You're not wrong and you aren't ruining things, bad things happen and for some reason they just keep on happening to you. I have no answers to why but you didn't happen to break one hundred mirrors in a past life did you? ". Caleb thought about what she said & then laughed a little.

" Not that I know of ". He looked down at her, she was always so much shorter when she didn't have her heels on. He could see her perfect and dainty little nose, her bright green sparkly eyes & her silky golden hair pulled to one shoulder exposed her porcelain like skin. He watched her chest rise & fall and wondered if her heart was racing as much as his was. " Thank you, for today. I don't know how I can ever repay you ".

" You don't ever need to, we're family and we help each other in good times and bad ". Hanna grabbed the tips of his fingers and looked up at him, she was already lost in those brown eyes of his. " I'm just glad you're alright, you scared me half to death ".

" Sorry " he apologized.

" You're welcome to stay in the guest room for as long as you need, its the second room on the right ". Hanna began to walk away, she let go of Caleb's fingers ever so slowly. " Good night Caleb ". Inside her room she walked over to the bed & buried her face in the largest pillow she had.

Being there for Caleb today was one thing but how was she ever going to sleep knowing he was in the room right next to hers?


End file.
